Day 517

Stained Glass,

It has been 17 months since you left us. I don't know why you left, or where you went too. But we miss you. Your absence has been especially hard on Rupert. And I can't say it's been easy on me too. I hope you'll come home soon.

Love,

Android

Day 543 

Air mattress, 

It has been so hard to stay away from my family, Some nights I look up at the stars and wonder if you're looking too. I've tried and failed to run away back to you, but every time I turn back for it is my duty to be here. Rupert my beloved, tell him to stay strong and tell him I will be back soon. 

Love, 

Steam boat

Day 667

Story Time,

The last time I saw your face I didn't have a worry in sight. Now interminable thoughts fill my mind. Rupert has grown so much, I doubt you could recognize him. I have been trying to find you, but no matter how hard I search, no matter what bones I dig up you never seem to be there. I am looking at the stars every night, my love. I can see your reflection beaming back down at me and you are as beautiful, more even, than I last saw you.

I miss you.

With love,

Alligator 

Day 701

Automobile, 

I could not even start to understand all the hardships you had to face without me. Thoughts of you and Rupert are the only thing keeping me sane these past few years. I look for your face in every stranger, every dream is filled with thoughts of you. Every corner I turn I imagine you staring back at me with those eyes. I can't believe that its been so long, though it feels longer I will always wait for you. 

Love,

school bus

Day 719

Satanic Ritual,

Rupert's birthday is upcoming. His only wish is to see you. The indent left in our bed by you is gone, your clothes have lost your smell and your nightstand has collected millimeters high of dust. Our house is desaturated without you, the artist. The one who said she was going to leave to paint the arctic north, the northern lights in a way photos could not capture. I can't fathom what you went through. This was never what any of us could have thought would happen.

Love,

Amazon Prime Same Day Delivery

Day 893

Atomic Bomb, 

Its been so long since I've wrote to you last. I miss the days we would just sit on our from porch, without a care in the world. Though that has all changed, I have not. I am the same man you always knew and loved. I know its been hard on you and Rupert to not have a male figure in his life, but this job pays much. I hope I can continue this line of work to provide for you even though I won't be there. I hope it is enough for you and for Rupert. I will always love you no matter what. No matter how long its been. No matter the distance, I will always love you. 

With love, 

Sewer Rat that lives in the Catacombs of Paris. 

Day 930

Stupidity,

Rupert has grown two and a half years. He is now 7 years, and I fear he is forgetting your face. Who will be there for Rupert when he gets his fist girl? Who will warn him about the dangers that lie ahead of being a male teenager? These are not experiences I have been through, and I cannot teach him about. Uncle Jenkins is too addicted to cocaine to teach Rupert properly. Your job in the arctic north is so important and does pay so much, but I would give all of it up just to see you again. I hope to see you again soon.

With love, from the moon and to saturn,

Algebraic Notation

Day 1000 

Apple Tree, 

Oh.

Day 1001

Slime Rancher,

What has happened? Are you okay?

Ant Eater

Day 1369

Arachnophobia, 

Arachnophobia I am fine, I just am shocked that uncle Jenkins turned to drugs. Whatever happened to his wife? You know that the money I provide is the only thing keeping you afloat. You know you can't go back to the way we used to live. As you are a gay man I know you have not experienced a normal school life. I believe I can come back from my trip before he reaches high school. 

From the Arctic, 

Schizophrenia

Day 1402

Sharpened Knife,

Uncle Jenkins left his wife after the drugs started. The way we used to live was perfect. We miss you. Rupert will be in high school in 7 years, We cannot wait that long.

Amanda

Day 1443

Albert, 

Albert... we lived in poverty, we didn't even get to eat most days. I do not want to raise Rupert in those conditions. Just look how you turned out! As for Jenkin's wife, good for her. It must have been so hard for her to leave her husband of 20 years. Tell her that I will pray for her. 

Sticker of a unicorn on the toilet

Day 1504

Scandalous Raptor, 

I have more money now. Don't ask me how, but I have managed to dig up enough money for us to live in a wonderful mansion out in the Pacific Palisades. Taco Tuesday can be EVERY day. Rupert can be raised in elegance, with the best tutors America has to offer. All you need to do is come back, you Scandalous Raptor. The money, Rupert and I are all waiting for you.

Ambulance

Day 1675

Attack helicopter

Attack helicopter my dearest, I'm sorry to say that we've been hit by a huge storm and cannot go home right now. They say this storm is likely to last 379 days. Don't worry my dear I will be home soon. 

Shaker broom vise

Day 1754

Steam Room,

My love, it has been 379 days since I last heard from you. Is the storm done? Are you safe? I have been so worried about you. 

Alarm System

Day 1887

Ass,

During my exploration I had gotten lost. As I was laying on the snow awaiting my doom, I was think of you. Thinking about just how long it has been. I can barely remember your face anymore. Your beautiful face. It was so cold and everything was going black when Brian, my coworker found me. So anyways I feel in love with Brian and I’ll be cutting off your funds! 

Sofa

Day 1993

Steroids, 

Don't leave me for Brian! You can't do this! I've been waiting, I've turned down many opportunities and told them "No, I'm waiting for my wife to return from the arctic"! I'll be sending someone to kill Brain. You can't do this to me, I love you. Don't leave me like this. Don't do this, Steroids. Think it through. What about Rupert? How will we survive?

Love,

Avalanche

Day 2190

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,

Brain doesn't know you like I do. You don't have to do this! 2,190 days ago when you left me and Rupert, I thought it was your daily trip to the grocery store to get some orange juice. I didn't know you were enlisted by the government, taken to the arctic to complete some shitty mission that they couldn't do on their own. I thought you'd come back. You could have told me a thousand days ago. You dragged me out, wrung me until there was nothing left- I've waited, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. And waited. I see you in the back of my mind. All of the time. Did I cross the line? I know you didn't mean to hurt me, so you kept it to yourself. But I don't think you really want this. Think it through.

Yours forevermore,

Abortion

Day 2484

Adhesives, 

You do not understand what you are saying right now. Believe me it was not an easy decision! What you don't know is that I was going to get orange juice. While I was on my way a man approached me, he told me things. He told me that I could have a chance to change our lives. I thought I had made the right decision. I thought if we had money everything would be different! He told me that I only had to leave for a year and that I could come back. Everything is different now. I provided for this family for years!! While you were cheating on me with Uncle Jenkins! Yeah I know about that! While I was busting my ass every single day you were out cheating on me with Rupert's uncle! My brother. I had believed that it was just a mistake, that it was just the stress of raising Rupert "on your own" getting to you. You keep saying that I'm never there but you would not even be alive without the money that I provide. Do not speak for me. You don't know what I want! I never meant to lead you on. I am truly sorry for that. Brian can provide more than enough for the both of us. Enough to finally get out of this hell hole. You can't even begin to understand everything me and my crew go through everyday. Some of these people I had gone to highschool with. They were in the same situation as us. They had no money and this was their only way. You can't even begin to understand how hard this was. I will be leaving the arctic soon. I am still deciding if I will continue to send letters.

I'm am truly, truly sorry,

Salami

Day 2508

Scarecrow,

I never did anything with him! I would never do anything with a crackhead. They smell weird. That would be gross! And as for this man that "told you things", it disappoints me you would get up and leave just like that. And as if you didn't cheat too, with Grandma Jiggletits. Yeah, I heard about that from Mysterious White Powder. You're not slick, you know? And you say this as if you aren't cheating again, with Brain. I'm sending Cocaine and Maria in a helicopter to scoop him up with a giant fish net, fly him over the Indian Ocean and toss him out into it, freezing to death. Rupert is twelve years old now. He was five when you left, he's grown up so much. I think he has a girlfriend, but he won't tell me anything about her. Typical teenager! I provided for this family too. I worked at McDonald's from time to time and I sold my toenails on ebay for the freaks to buy it. This is what I have to do now to support Rupert. We live in a condo now, we were evicted from our home. You aren't thinking straight, Scarecrow. You can leave anytime you want. You can do what you want, but I don't think that is what you are doing. Fix yourself up, Scarecrow. What has happened to you? Take a step back. Look at what you've done. To this family. To me. To Uncle Jenkins. To Rupert. To Grandma Jiggletits. To your friends. To my friends. This is your fault. This is all you. All you had to do was come back with a jug of orange juice. That's all you had to do. I've apologized for your shit for YEARS. FOR YEARS, Scarecrow. People ask me 'When is Scarecrow coming back? What's she doing in the arctic?". I've covered for you, I've told them you're taking a trip around the world painting the northern lights, the stars, the rocks, the grass, the trees- whatever. But I've had enough of this bullshit. I know who you're working for. I know what you're doing. You're sick, you know that? I've finally caught on, Scarecrow. This isn't a fun little game anymore, I will expose you. I know what you're doing. Be wise.

You aren't sorry you conniving son of a bitch,

Aboriginal

Day 2758

Atherosclerosis,

Atherosclerosis don't lie to me. I know what you did, don't even try to deny it. If you ever truly loved me you wouldn't have lied. If you had just told me, maybe things could be different. If you had just told me that you cheated on me with Uncle Jenkins and that it was a mistake I would have forgiven you. Mysterious White Powder is a liar, it would do anything, say anything for money. Maria would never do that to me. She's my best friend. I've been writing to her and she told me everything. All your plans, what you're up to and where you've been. She saw you leaving Uncle Jenkin's place 2 days ago. What did you do? Cheat on me with that disgusting smelly female dog again? Or did you buy something from him? Maria told me about this. She warned me when we first got together that you were unstable. I didn't listen to her. I was blinded by love. The way you treated me all those years ago.. I miss it, but that wasn't truly you, was it? It was just a way you could manipulate me. A mask you put on until we got married. Once you had trapped me you showed me who you really were. You're selfish. You only ever cared for yourself. Using the money I earned through my hard work to fuel your need for that STUPID powder. Was it really more important than me? Than Rupert? I was never the problem in this "family", it always was and always will be you. Don't blame me for your own mistake. The choices you made were your own. I had no part in that. Think about what you have done to this family. And fine yeah you caught me. I'm surprised it took you so long. God you really are stupid aren't you. I was never in the Arctic. Never stepped foot in that supid place. I've been working for Anthony7 this whole time. You don't understand what he offered me. I did this all for Rupert, not you.

Synchronised Shenanigans

Day 2812

Surround Sound, 

Well, well, well. Good for you! You caught on. So what if I'm having an affair with Uncle Jenkins? You admitted to having one with Brain! You straight up said in the email, no guilt, no shame, do you not understand? Why can you do this and I can't? Who gives a fuck about Rupert? He's strong, he can do this on his own! He sleeps at his friend Harold's house most days anyways! Yeah, Harold might be 21, but they're both boys! And Rupert's straight, right? The powder you found was a mix of cocaine, ketamine and other random shit the dealers put in there for a bigger kick. I can't do this anymore, Surround Sound. I can't! I need to feel things again. Things are so numb. The faucet won't turn on, the electricity has been shut off to my apartment, I only use the internet to try and meet up with girls. 20% of the time, it's an undercover officer. I've been to court at least forty times. For tax fraud, for armed robbery, for assault; I've been through nine identity changes. I can't take your shit anymore, Surround Sound. I can't fucking do this. It's your fault, you whore. On day 893, you told me you loved me. You told me you'd love me no matter what. You said you'd wait for me, no matter how long you had to wait, no matter how far apart we are. You are a traitor, a backstabber. I have emailed twenty of my contacts with the FBI and told them you're working for Anthony7. You still have time to come back, Surround Sound. You have time. Leave now before they get there, and I'll keep you safe. If you don't, your life will be a fuckload of shit. The letter you just sent me has your confession of working with Anthony7. You say you did this all for Rupert? Rupert's been to court too. He's done drugs. I'm pretty sure he got a girl pregnant while in a big pile with thirty other sluts. Uncle Jenkins gave me what I needed. He showed me a world you never did. None of this would've happened if you never left. Do you fucking realize that? Do you realize it's all your fault? You're the reason our lives are shit. I haven't seen Rupert in two weeks, he could be dead on the street for God's sake. He's tried killing himself before, you know? Because of you. You are the villain. Why did I marry you? I should've known. So go have fun with Brain. Go spend your last days of glory with him, have a fucking child, I don't give a fuck. Fourteen hundred men are coming to get you. Make your decision, Surround Sound. You don't have much time. I said this before, and will say it again. Be wise. Am I clear?

Abstract Art

Day 3002

Andrea, 

So you finally admit it huh? It's laughable how you think you have the upperhand. My plan started long before we got married. I knew what you would do from the beginning. I read you like a book. I knew you liked Jenkins from the beginning. I saw how you looked at him at Thanksgiving dinner. I saw you place your hand on his thigh under the table. I caught on when you went to the "bathroom" at the same time. I admit it did hurt at first. I had though you were different. You're just like everyone else. Selfish and prideful. An ego too big for your size. Why am I not surprised you neglected Rupert. I thought that you would change after having a child. But you continue to show that you only care for yourself. I should have never believed that you could change.  Men like you are ALWAYS the same. You need an escape so you blame it on someone else. You decided to blame it on me. After everything I've done for you, after all the years I believed in you. It was a waste. You have no shame. I should've known. For that I blame myself. I found relief in Brian, you know? I found the love you could never give to me. Go on, send them! Send the people after us. Anthony7 never did anything illegal. He helps people like me! People who need somewhere to go since their husbands couldn't care less. He is truly a good guy. You don't know what you're saying. I have letters from you saying that you bought "stuff" from Uncle Jenkins. I can so easily send this to the FBI. They would never hear you out. You'll get sent somewhere far, far away. The only reason I haven't yet is because I still can't shake this feeling. I'm not sure what it is and I've tried desperately to get rid of it. I've already contacted all your family and friends. They all agree with me. They knew something was off about you and your brother. They think it's disgusting. You are disgusting there is no question about it. I still can't fathom that I married you. Why? I never thought in a million years that we would end up like this. We used to be so happy, but I guess that was built on a foundation of lies. It was bound to crumble one day. It was inevitable.

Do you understand? 

Scone

Day 3059

Sabertooth,

I understand. Loud and clear; you were sent to destroy my life, weren't you? What do you mean, you had a plan? From the moment we bumped into each other at that bar in San Diego? I was sitting on a stool, about to ask the bartender to give me his most distracting drink... and then you showed up, blaze and glory. How sick and twisted of a person do you have to be to be that to someone? To PLAN to ruin someone's life? What was the point? You wasted my life and yours. If either of us reports anything to the FBI, we're both locked away for life. We've both messed up. If you knew what I was doing before I even did, why did you stay? What is your goal, Sabertooth? What is your goal? That much is not clear; what are you trying to do other than ruin lives? You purposely brought a child into this world KNOWING you were going to leave me, going to cheat and work for Anthony7. You are a disgrace. A menace. What you've done is far worse than anything I could have done. You thought I would CHANGE after Rupert? I only seriously got with Jenkins after YOU left! Who cares if we hooked up in a bathroom once twenty years ago, it's miniscule compared to now! I'd rather you left me, then and there, than drag me out for another TWENTY YEARS, have a child, raise him and then leave us crumbling like you had drawn up. I can't fathom why you married me either- what kind of person does that? Watch an affair happen, and instead of confronting him, you wait to have a kid and then pull him into the mud as well? Was that all Rupert was to you? A statement? "Oh look, you've really fucked up now, we have a child!" YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LEFT WITH A PLAN TO DESTROY OUR LIVES. You've fucking admitted it! You've gone fucking insane! This is all because of me and Jenkins, huh? Well guess what? Jenkins is dead. Happy? You couldn't even divorce me and let me run to the man I loved, no, you had to drive us to the point where Jenkins ended up killing himself. I pushed him away after I realized you caught on, because I loved you, and I thought you were coming back. How stupid of me to think that. I was so blind. He started doing drugs, and soon enough I did too. I'll never forgive myself for letting Rupert get caught up into it as well, but it's all YOUR fault. One measly, shitty bathroom hookup twenty years ago, that wasn't even that good, has led to a crackhead son, dead uncle and me, spending my last coins on someone to tell me "it'll be okay!". I'm only buying more alcohol and I'm getting evicted from my condo next week. I'm moving to the streets, Sabertooth. I don't know where Rupert is. I'm glad you've found happiness with Brain. I'm happy for you. Are you happy too? You escaped hell, got to freedom, but then you found a gun and decided to run back and shoot everyone in the face. That's stubborn. That's selfish. Ignorant. Jenkins isn't even buried, you know? I had to burn him to ashes over the fire he set on his own home, because nobody was willing to do it for us without being paid. All the money Jenkins had left had to be paid in fines. You found relief in Brain? He gave you the love I never did? THAT'S WHAT JENKINS WAS TO ME. And he's dead. Nobody was ever coming to kill Brain, you dumbass. Cocaine and Maria aren't killers. I was trying to scare you, but like the idiot I am, I wasn't aware of the decades of plotting against me you had done. You really couldn't let me go, huh? You had to make sure I was miserable and dead inside. I hope you're smiling, because you succeeded! Yay!!! You say that men like me are always the same? How do you know Brian isn't doing the same thing? Or perhaps, you're doing the same thing to Brain? You're going to watch him accidentally look at some girl's ass and start scheming on ways to ruin his life. Another child brought into the world, raised in a hellhole, continuing the cycle. You've fucked everything up. You said we used to be so happy, so why did you end it? I miss those days. But you're sick. One clean cut could've ended all of this, leaving everyone nothing more than miserable; but instead you decided to become a dark, twisted, fucked up killer. Everything is your fault. And I won't let you convince me otherwise. I'm starting a new life. Don't come back to me. Don't taunt me like this anymore, nothing you say will fix or make things worse in any way. I have nothing, Sabertooth. Not even my own son. I'm at rock bottom. And I don't know what to do. I don't owe you SHIT, Sabertooth. I know that. And I know there is nothing I can say, nothing I can do that will change your ways. You'll respond to this, day three thousand fucking something, rant about how I'm wrong, you're right, and it's my fault, while you sit in the warm embrace of Brain's arms. I hope he's reading this with you. I hope you're cackling, thinking I'm stupid; but Briain, I'm warning you. Watch out. Twenty years I've been with her. Twenty years. Even a psychopath doesn't have the ability to do this, to plan that far ahead, to organize, schedule, wait like that. I've got to admit, it's fucking impressive. I'm applauding for you. I'll never get those twenty years back. I'll never get Rupert back. I'll never see him again. The courts wouldn't let me anyways, if they found out where I was hiding. I hope you're caught. I hope in thirty years, an inspiring, upcoming filmmaker finds these letters and paints you like the evil antagonist you are; Sabertooth: A New Word for Psychopaths! In theaters now! I hope you're taught in history lessons, grouped with Osama bin Laden and Hitler, because honestly, you're worse than them. When grinches go to school, hating the world and it's life, I hope they look up to you. I hope you're the first thought in everyone's mind when they think of fear. But that's exactly what you wanted, isn't it? This PLEASES you. So enjoy it. But I know deep down inside that black, distilled, cold heart, you feel. And you will never, ever get rid of this guilt. In case this isn't clear: EVERYTHING is your fault.

Thanks for everything, you've wasted my life and yours,

Artichoke

Day 31023 

AHH CHEEW!! 

Let me make this clear. I never intended to hurt you. Truly. When I first got my assignment from Anthony7 I thought it would just be like every other. But you're not like "every other person". You were special. From the moment he handed me a folder with your picture on it. The look in your eyes... the pure look in your eyes. When I entered that bar in San Diego the first thing I saw was you. It was like my eyes were attracted to you. Like a magnet, I couldn't look away. Your presence just seemed to call to all the attention in the room. The moment we locked eyes, my god. You were beautiful. Like a star shining in the night sky, so pure and bright. I couldn't look away. I could never forget that day. I sat next to you on the bar top. You bought me a drink. We talked about economics and politics. When you smiled... my lord it was like you were blessed by all the gods. A pure, true smile. We left together that night. We went back to your apartment. In the morning I woke up in your arms. You smiled down at me. The same pure bright smile you gave me the night before. If only I could see that smile again. Everything went downhill from there. I will continue to say it over and over again that I never meant to hurt you whether you believe it or not. MY GOAL WAS NEVER TO RUIN YOUR LIFE OR ANYONES. I am under a NDA and I cannot tell you what my goal was. I can only say I failed. I failed the moment we locked eyes. I failed the moment you flashed me that grin of yours. I failed the moment I took your hand... But I couldn't afford to be distracted for I had a mission to complete. I brought Rupert into this world thinking I would quit my job. But after the way you acted after we got married. My goal was clear. It was set in stone when you and your BROTHER got together. You cheated on me. You cheated on ME! This is your fault. It was never mine. This would never have happened if you never cheated. I wouldn't have left. We could've been so happy. But no, you had to give in. You really have no restraint. You never could have loved me. It's not in your nature. From the moment you were born, every choice you made had led up to this. You go out almost everyday and come home reeking of alcohol, the smell rolling off you like storm clouds. I can basically see it coming off of you. We would get into an argument. What do you think Rupert thought? That his daddy never loved him? That you never cared for this family? You never tried. The day I left. It was the hardest decision of my life. You say you only seriously got with Jenkins after I left. I only left because you cheated on me with Jenkins. It was my final straw. You blame me for everything when really it was you. It was your choice to get with your own brother! You're disgusting. You know that? I DID NOT LEAVE WITH A PLAN TO DESTROY YOUR LIVES!!!! I would never. Even after everything I still feel something for you. I can't believe it, even after everything I was supposed to hate you! Good! Jenkins is dead! He never did anything meaningful in his life other than ruin our relationship. You degenerate. It's foul. It's horrific. I can't believe you could do something so.. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BELIEVE IT. As for Brian. Brian is no man. Brian is a woman. I'm bi actually! I found solace in Brian. She wouldn't do anything to me. She loved me in a way you could never. That is something you could never understand. I love Brian. There is no question about it. While I was with you I always questioned myself. Even my parents did. Everytime you would go to the bathroom I would hang my head with shame while they keep questioning me. Why are you with him? Why are you such a disappointment? Why why WHY! I couldn't even answer the questions myself. But deep down I knew. I knew you weren't the one. If only I had realized that sooner.   

I think it's about time to end this. You're always going to believe I'm wrong and that's fine. We should just go our separate ways and build towards a better future...  by ourselves. 

Good luck,

Shark bait