Self-Control

Activity: Bubble Poppin Behavior https://youtu.be/XCe4AJmKE40 (from Teacher Tipster)

Gather your family in a circle, sitting or standing. Explain that you are going to blow some bubbles in the air, and the first time you do they may pop them to their heart’s content! (Might want to implement a ‘bottoms stay on the set/ground’ rule for safety’s sake.) Go ahead and blow lots of bubbles for the everyone to pop.

Once all the bubbles are popped, explain that you are going to blow some more, but this time they may not pop (or even touch) any of the bubbles - even if one lands right on their nose!

Explain that the feeling of really, really wanting to do something but holding back is called ‘self-control’. Blow more bubbles in the air towards each child, taking time to praise and encourage each one as they show self-control when the bubbles float their way. Talk about how it feels to resist the temptation to pop the bubbles, and discuss times at school that it might be useful to remember the feeling in order to practice self-control.

What is self-control?

• Managing your own thoughts, words, actions and emotions in an appropriate way.
• STOP, THINK and ACT: A skill that allows you to STOP yourself from impulsively doing things that you want to do (but that you should not do, that you will later regret) and take 3 deep breaths, THINK of the smart thing to do and ACT on that plan.

Discussion:

• Was it hard to not touch the bubbles when they were all over you?
• What thoughts were you thinking that helped you stay calm, your voice quiet and your hands away from the bubbles?
• What will you do if you feel yourself getting out of control?

What does it look like and sound like to use self-control?

• Saying "Excuse me" to interrupt adults talking to each other or on the phone.
• Keeping your hands, feet and objects to yourself.
• Waiting your turn.
• Playing by the rules.
• Keeping your bedroom clean.
• Telling the truth.
• Trying your best.
• Using a calm/respectful tone of voice.
• Listening when someone else is talking.
• Not letting other’s negative words or behaviors affect your words or behaviors.
• Thinking before you act.

How can you practice self-control?

• Use Peace Area-Conflict Resolution page in my Counseling Corner. Work with your family to designate an area in your home as the Peace Area. Use the resources on my website to practice and use "I-statements".
• Find a place in your home for "time-apart". Use that when you need a break from your siblings, parents, pets, etc.
• Deep breathing such as 4-7-8 Deep Breathing Exercises by Go Zen
• Take a walk
• Take deep belly breaths Sesame Street: Common and Colbie Caillat - "Belly Breathe" with Elmo
• Use respectful words and calm voice to talk it out
• Listen to music
• Ask an adult for help

Why is it important to use self-control?

• You cannot control others or your environment, but you CAN control yourself.
• A big part of growing up is learning the skill of how to control our thoughts and emotions in a healthy way. Learning self-control takes time, hard work and practice. When you start showing others that you have self-control, people will see how responsible and mature you have become. You will earn respect and trust from parents, teachers and peers.
• Losing self-control can get you into a lot of trouble with your parents, your teacher and even with the law.

Books: When Sophie Gets Angry, Howard B Wigglebottom Learns to Listen, My Mouth is a Volcano, Cool Down and Work Through Anger, Personal Space Camp

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” Dr. Suess