MVP 2.0 - Lessons in SEL - Positive Peer Relationships

-Positive Peer Relationships-

HOW TO USE THIS LESSON: The webpage below is intended to be projected for students to follow along. It includes basic instructions, definitions, etc. to guide students. Depending on your technology, you can have a student in charge of scrolling through the site, on your cues. Just have them try not to scroll past the thin purple dividers or thick colored banners until you are ready to start that next section!

You will also need to download and/or print this facilitator's guide. This document contains extra instructions, facilitator's notes, and other behind-the-scenes content necessary for the lesson.

Grade 12 - Positive Peer Relations (25-30 minutes)

Objective: You will learn about the importance of reciprocity and communication in healthy relationships

Introduction

Introduction:

Who knows the Platinum Rule?

Treat others the way they want to be treated.

This is a quote many of us have heard since we were little. If this is something we teach young children, why is it so hard for us to do it? It all comes down to positive relationships. No matter what the level of relationship we have with a person, maybe they are our significant other, a family member, or simply a classmate, we have relationships with a lot of people and we need to ensure they are positive experiences for all.

Main Activities

So, how do we ensure we have positive relationships with everyone? Not everyone is our best friend. While this is true, we have a wide variety of relationships in our lives from very close personal relationships to working relationships. No matter the depth of the relationship, there are two driving factors that make these relationships work: communication and reciprocity.

Communication

Communication is important in relationships. Some say it is the foundation relationships are built on. In order to maintain a relationship, there must be communication between both people involved. This communication includes sharing thoughts, feelings, and future goals. I’m sure this is a concept you have heard many times.

Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the act of getting something from someone, whether it is a gift, a gesture, or a feeling, and wanting to give the same back. This process has long existed in our world throughout many cultures. Think of a time someone made you feel really good... chances are you instinctually wanted to do something nice back for them. This common exchange helps build relationships. The act or gesture does not have to be big.

Have you ever had someone smile at you? What did you want to do?

This give and take can have a large impact on a relationship no matter the depth of the relationship.

To bring these two skills together, we will be reviewing quotes. We will get into partners. One partner will pick a quote from the list of reciprocity quotes and one partner will pick a quote from the communication quotes.

Once each of you have your quotes, you will share them and discuss what overlap there may be or how you could combine them. From reading your quotes, what does each bring to the table? Feel free to select a new quote if you are not happy with the one you initially chose.

As partners, you will come up with an elevator speech. The basis of an elevator speech is if you were on an elevator with someone and had just a few moments to describe a concept to them, how would you briefly share your knowledge of the subject with them. You will be working to create a short description of the importance of communication and reciprocity in a relationship.

Communication:

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." - George Bernard Shaw

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." - Tony Robbins

"If people had the right skills and intention to communicate well, there would be no conflict. The better we are at communicating, the better our lives will be." - Yama Mubtaker

"There is no communication that is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood." - Luigina Sgarro

"We are stronger when we listen, and smarter when we share." - Rania Al-Abdullah

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing." - Rollo May

Reciprocity:

"It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty... until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being." - John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

"Because I was more often happy for other people, I got to spend more time being happy. And as I saw more light in everybody else, I seemed to have more for myself." - Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul for Lifelong Beauty

"Trust is the reciprocal experience, knowledge and understanding of another that enables them to feel safe whether they are present or absent, each person knowing that neither will betray mutual faith, friendship and loyalty, which endures through the most challenging of circumstances." - Suzy Davies

"When someone she loves is sad, she stops at nothing to make sure they feel better. If she could, she would magic a double rainbow into the sky just to see a small smile on their face, even though she can't think of a single soul in her life who would do the same for her." - Amanda Lovelace, Flower Crowns and Fearsome Things

If you'd like more quotes, you can find them here:

Communication Quotes

Reciprocity Quotes

After finishing your task, engage in a discussion on the following questions:

What similarities did you notice about the quotes?

What differences did you notice?

Would anyone like to share their elevator speech with the group?

Closing

While reciprocity and communication both support positive relationships, they both play their own, very important role.

In the next week, I want you to be aware of all the times reciprocity peeks in and note how the other person responds to your actions. All relationships need the balance of give and take of reciprocity for all involved to be successful.

Looking for a little more content?

Extension Activity

Try to generate a list of ways you show reciprocity in your relationships.

Sort the examples by the intensity and depth of the relationship.

Remediation Activity

Dive further into the quotes. Discuss each quote with a partner, or journal about what quotes stand out to you. You may reflect on pieces that you agree with or disagree with, and why.

Write several examples that come to mind of communication or reciprocity in your day-to-day lives.

Like this lesson? Here's another on this topic:

<-- Positive Peer Relationships for Level Two

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