-Personal Responsibility-
-Personal Responsibility-
Embedded Files
HOW TO USE THIS LESSON: The webpage below is intended to be projected for students to follow along. It includes basic instructions, definitions, etc. to guide students. Depending on your technology, you can have a student in charge of scrolling through the site, on your cues. Just have them try not to scroll past the thin purple dividers or thick colored banners until you are ready to start that next section!
You will also need to download and/or print this facilitator's guide. This document contains extra instructions, facilitator's notes, and other behind-the-scenes content necessary for the lesson.
Grade 11 - Personal Responsibility (25-30 minutes)Objective: You will learn about the power of their words and the way that communicating emotions can elicit constructive dialogue.
Introduction
Introduction
You will be watching a short clip from a movie that illustrates the many kinds of power that words can have.
At this point in the film, Cruise suspects that there’s been a cover-up in the death of the marine. He suspects that Nicholson’s character gave an order that resulted in the death. In this climactic scene, Cruise—in his frustration—demands the truth, to which Nicholson replies, “You can’t handle the truth!”
After viewing, discuss the power of words with the following prompts:
What did Tom Cruise's character hope words would do in this clip?
How did Nicholson and his staff use words in this movie?
What was the “truth” that Nicholson thought a civilian couldn’t handle?
“Words are powerful, so be careful and think about the consequences of your words, since you must take responsibility for them. Remember, if the words come out of your mouth, they are yours.”
Main Activities:
Main Activities:
You will be learning how to use something called I-Messages today.
An I-Message is a technique you can use to express yourself when you are upset or angry that will lead to open discussion and will not escalate conflict. When you use an I-Message, people are more willing to listen to you and respond to your requests without becoming defensive. I-Messages encourage discussion and help reduce friction.
This is how an I-Message works:
An I-Message begins with a statement of feelings, like, "I feel afraid, tense, worried, etc...."
It is followed by a statement of what the problem is. For example, “…when you don’t take out the garbage, when you are late picking me up, when you skip class, etc."
An I-Message ends with your reasons for feeling the way you do. It tells how the observed behavior affects you, and it avoids using the word “you.”
You are going to write your own I-Messages.
Line 1: Identify your feelings, but avoid using "mad", "angry", or other aggressive or accusatory words. You may feel mad or angry, which is okay, but those words do not encourage the kind of productive dialogue that these statements are trying to achieve. You can use the "Vocabulary of Feelings" sheet to find other words that might still be fitting.
Line 2: This line should be a description of what the other person does that upsets you. It should describe the other person’s specific action, but not label or accuse the person. For example, you could write “when you don’t return my things”, which describes the action, but should avoid writing “when you are inconsiderate”, because it broadly labels the person. Keep in mind that when a person acts in a way that seems inconsiderate, it is the specific behavior that is causing the negative feeling; that person is not always inconsiderate.
Line 3: This line should explain in detail why you are feeling how you are feeling. For example, you might write “because they are important to me.” This line explains the importance of the action or behavior to the other person.
Fill out the remaining I-Messages on your activity sheets.
I-Messages worksheet.pdfVocabulary of Feelings worksheet.pdf
Processing the Activity:
Processing the Activity:
When you are finished, reflect and discuss the following questions:
Why are I-Messages a valuable tool for communication?
When could you use an I-Message?
How are they different from how people usually communicate in these situations?
Closing
Closing
Listen to the following thoughts:
Effective communication is important in people’s lives.
Words are powerful, so use them wisely.
An awareness of both parties’ emotions in a conversation can help make communication more effective.
An I-Message is a technique that helps people to communicate when they are upset or angry, without escalating conflict.
Using words responsibly is part of being an effective communicator.
Looking for a little more content?
Looking for a little more content?
Extension Activity:
Extension Activity:
Instruct students to take out a piece of paper and fold it into three columns. Have them title the left column “Easy,” the middle column “Average,” and the right column “Difficult.” Explain that this activity will have them classify different conversations according to their difficulty. Divide the class into pairs. Tell students that they have three minutes to list as many examples of verbal communication in each column as they can think of. Tell them that their goal is to have at least three examples in each column. Ask them to list, for example, a conversation with a close friend about what to wear to a party, a telephone conversation to schedule a dentist appointment, and a request to a boss for a raise.
NOTE: Be mindful that cultural differences might be brought up within this discussion on why conversations are easy vs hard. Be prepared to guide students to recognize those cultural differences and honor that individuals may see the same conversation in different columns (easy or hard) and neither of them are wrong.
As time allows, bring students back together and guide discussion on what was noticed and what differences appear.
Remediation Activity:
Remediation Activity:
Instruct students to spend some time journaling on the following prompt:
What situations have I witnessed or experienced where words weren't used as effectively as they could have been? What went wrong? How could a skill like I-Messages have helped the situation?
Be sure to inform students ahead of time if you intend to collect these reflections.
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