-Forgiveness-
-Forgiveness-
Embedded Files
HOW TO USE THIS LESSON: The webpage below is intended to be projected for students to follow along. It includes basic instructions, definitions, etc. to guide students. Depending on your technology, you can have a student in charge of scrolling through the site, on your cues. Just have them try not to scroll past the thin purple dividers or thick colored banners until you are ready to start that next section!
You will also need to download and/or print this facilitator's guide. This document contains extra instructions, facilitator's notes, and other behind-the-scenes content necessary for the lesson.
Grade 11 - Forgiveness (30-35 minutes)Objective: You will be able to think critically about the difference between "forgive and forget" and "forgive and remember", the context around offenses and forgiveness, and healthy ways to process your emotions when wronged.
Introduction
Introduction
With your instructor, stablish a one side of the room to mean, "I can forgive and forget" and the other "I cannot forgive and forget".
Move to the side of the room that most aligns with your belief and experiences.
Spend a few minutes talking with those around you:
"What made you decide on the answer you chose?"
After a few minutes, return to your seats for further discussion around the following questions:
What do these two sentences mean?
How have you experienced, in yourself or in others, these two perspectives on forgiveness?
When does one perspective work more than the other?
Do you agree or disagree with these stances?
Main Activity
Main Activity
Listen or read the story "Sand and Stone".
Sand and Stone
Sand and Stone
Two friends, Riley and Jessie, were on a long journey. They passed through many places, and frequently fought, but always supported each other and never gave up their friendship.
One day, their journey took them through a desert. They had very little food and water, and began fighting over how to distribute what was left. In the heat of the argument, Riley slapped the Jessie. Jessie was hurt, and wrote a message in the sand before they continued their journey. The message read:
"My best friend slapped me!"
Finally, they reached an oasis in the desert. They were very happy for the rest and the water, and began playing in the water. Jessie became a little careless with excitement, and began to drown. Riley rushed in and saved Jamie from drowning. After they had recovered, they prepared to leave the oasis to continue their journey. Before they left, Jamie found a large stone and wrote a message on it. The message read:
"My best friend saved my life!"
Riley noticed the message, and inquired as to why Jamie had written in sand before, but now chose stone. Jamie smiled, and replied:
"When you slapped me, I wrote in on sand. By now, the winds of forgiveness will have blown it away. But when you saved my life, I wrote it on stone, so it will be there forever."
(Author Unknown)
"Forgive and Forget"
"Forgive and Forget"
Notice the parallels between writing something in the sand and the phrase, "forgive and forget". The character in this story wrote something positive on the stone, but that stone could also be used to store memories of past hurts. Consider the following discussion questions:
What kinds of hurts do we tend to write in the sand? What about in stone?
What do these options look like within the context of an ongoing relationship (parent, sibling, partner, boss, etc.)?
Who does it benefit to write in sand? What about in stone?
Empathy & Perspective-Taking
Empathy & Perspective-Taking
Think about a time when you were wronged or hurt by someone else. Take the perspective of the other person, and imagine what feelings or emotions they felt at the time of the incident. Consider what external factors may have contributed to the hurtful actions or words. Be curious about what other triggers or circumstances may have influenced this person to behave how they did.
Think about a time when you wronged or hurt someone else. Can you identify what triggered or caused your actions or words? How did you want the other person to respond in this situation? Were you seeking forgiveness? Do you feel you deserve forgiveness? Do you have to earn it, or would you hope they would extend grace freely?
Processing Emotions
Processing Emotions
Remember, whether we write down our hurts in sand or in stone, it is important to still recognize that we are hurt. Emotions are valid and healthy, including feelings of anger, sadness, loneliness, confusion, or betrayal. A natural and necessary step in reaching forgiveness is expressing and releasing the emotions that we naturally feel when we are hurt.
Reflect on the following questions:
What are productive and helpful ways to express our emotions?
What ways of expressing or processing emotions are more harmful to others or ourselves?
What responses or coping mechanisms does it feel like society teaches or encourages us to use?
Closing
Closing
Listen to the following thought:
We know that forgiveness is a process or journey with no scripted timeline. The point of this lesson is to emphasize the power that lies within the person who was harmed to realize they can forgive on their own timeline and forget (if possible). Or, they may feel more safe to forgive and remember. Either way, we learned how important it is to recognize and validate the pain felt along the journey and to safely express our emotions on the path to healing.
Looking for a little more content?
Looking for a little more content?
Extension Activity:
Extension Activity:
Explore the thought that the decision or ability to forget or remember is very personal and sensitive. It can be a very fluid decision that's heavily influenced by the ability to forget or forgive, relationship involved, values and beliefs of each individual, needs for self-care and self-preservation, and ultimately what is best for each person's mental and emotional well-being. Even if one chooses to forgive, it may not be possible to forget how one was hurt. However, with forgiveness, one may not remember as often or with as much intensity. One can choose not to dwell on their anger or hurt when they make the choice to forgive. Everyone needs to tend to their anger, hurt, and pain in healthy ways.
Ask students to journal about or outline a plan for expressing and processing these emotions. Encourage students to include 3-5 healthy strategies or activities they can commit to using in the future.
Remediation Activity:
Remediation Activity:
Ask students to spend time journaling or free-writing about the following topics:
When in your life have you benefitted from writing an offense in the sand? How were you able to do that? Why did you make that choice?
When in your life have you had to write in stone and not forget? What was that experience like? What contributed to you making that choice? How did this choice effect you personally, or your relationship with others?
NOTE: Be sure to specify to students whether you intend to discuss their responses, or whether their response will be kept private.
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