Our Family

We are Jacob (37) and Marla (34), proud parents of Ronnie (9) and Jess (7). Jacob's parents Ronald (64) and Jackie (57) live next door and we consider them family members. Marla's parents, Abraham (65) and Annabelle (51) live in Arkansas but we stay in touch through Skype and regular visits. Bob the cat (age 3, on his 8th life) is an honorary member of the Marigold family.

There are 4 of us at home - Jacob, Marla, and two kids, Ronnie and Jess. Bob the cat "adopted" us and lives in the house, too. Our home is in Spring Lake, Michigan, a small community on Lake Michigan, where we have lived for the past ten years.

Jacob was born in Muskegon, Michigan, which is the birthplace of both of his parents. When he was 7 years old, Jacob's family moved to Spring Lake in 1983 to the house where his parents still live. Jacob met Marla while they were both studying at Muskegon Community College and they dated for 2 years before marrying in 2002. Marla grew up in Arkansas and moved to Michigan with her then-boyfriend when they were 18 years old.

We believe that family is the root of society and should always be a priority. We were raised Baptist and occasionally attend the local Baptist church, but find the most support from our community of friends and our family. Family comes first for us.

Our Health

Our family has been healthy for the most part, with the exception of Jacob and Jess having a diagnosis of sickle cell anemia. Jacob has some eye and kidney problems but is generally pretty healthy. Jacob's father has had strokes and has high blood pressure. He is a smoker but is trying to quit. Jess has problems with pain and has required transfusions a few times in the past. A healthy family to us means that we are each able to express our individual beliefs, goals, and hopes for the future, and everyone in the family has a role in helping the others achieve these goals. While we all want to be “disease free”, we believe that our family can be healthy even if someone has a chronic condition, like sickle cell. Being healthy as a family is about knowing one another and communicating so that we can meet our individual and family needs.

Our Main Concern

Right now, our main concern is thinking about the future for Jess and Ronnie. We want them both to someday leave home and start families of their own, but for Jess, that may mean making some big decisions about starting a family and passing on sickle cell. We want her to be independent someday, but as a family we tend to disagree about some important things. Jacob feels guilty about passing on a condition to Jess, and thinks she shouldn’t have kids of her own. He sees his own father’s declining health and wonders if it might be related to sickle cell. Jess feels that sickle cell is “part of her” and sometimes wonders if Jacob wishes she weren’t born. Ronnie is protective of Jess, and tends to look out for her. We can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when they are both old enough to date…it seems like a long way off to us as parents, but we know it’s coming. What we’d like is to be able to talk more openly about what it means to have sickle cell anemia in this family. We think that might help Jess and Jacob feel more close, and it would help our family have a more hopeful view of what’s ahead for us.