Poetry
Sometimes I write poems, and sometimes they're about math, and sometimes I feel good enough about them to share. (Listed below are those poems)
I Stubbed My Toe On A Manifold
I stubbed my toe on a manifold,
Hidden, forgotten, concealed by mold.
It hurt much more than I expected,
For something so smooth and path-connected.
It hit so hard that my foot became a cover,
Twicely-sheeted, it wrapped around the other.
My toe-shaped homotopy broke all the way through,
And pushed its characteristic down to negative two.
A homotopy now would make my day,
And deformation retract my injuries away.
An Ode To ODEs (Part 1)
[written for my students to raise their spirits before a midterm]
If your quest is to cram
for Friday’s midterm exam
on equations differential,
you may find this poem essential.
When the odds are stacked
you should check if it’s exact.
If it is, then please elicit
the solution that’s implicit!
Have faith in your ability
to determine a point’s stability!
And limits? To confirm your suspicion,
it depends on the initial condition!
Equations that won’t separate
might need a factor that’ll integrate.
Nonlinear ones can be a jerk
and may require extra work.
If this upsets you truly
just call upon Bernoulli
to perform the substitution
that will grant you the solution!
Should you hope to thrive,
make sure you can derive
all the methods shown in class,
then I know for sure you’ll pass!
An Ode To ODEs (Part 2)
[written for my students to raise their spirits before a final]
The quarter’s end is nigh,
and soon we'll have to say goodbye.
So, here's a list (in case you're stressed)
of things to know before your test.
For second order ODEs,
the null solution is a breeze!
Just solve a quick quadratic,
Then plug it in, be pragmatic!
If f(x) is kind
then be prepared to find
the coefficients of your guess—
this could turn into a mess!
If there’s parameters to vary,
the process may seem scary,
but I trust that you are wise
to know the integrals to memorize.
Expect that there will be
an ODE of order three.
Never fear! They solve precisely
as those of order two: very nicely!
Last, make sure you reaffirm
your knowledge of the midterm.
If that’s too boring or void of fun,
just read “An Ode to ODEs (Part 1).”
It's been a pleasure teaching you!
I like to think that we all grew
our skills together as a class.
If only weeks were longer, alas!
'Twas The Night Before Quals
[written the night before quals]
‘Twas the night before quals, when all though the class,
Not a student was sleeping, all cramming to pass;
Equations of Euler, recited as they’re stressing,
In hopes that his spirit might come with a blessing;
The students, exhausted and glued to their screens,
Are scrambling to find out what “homology” means;
Flipping through Hungerford, Munkres and Lee,
Relying on Stack Exchange to get their degree;
The Professors were home and comfortably sleeping,
Entranced by the tune of their grad students weeping;
And the students, in unison, think to themselves,
“Is it really all worth it? I’d make more stocking shelves.”
Soon after this thought, they all felt at ease,
It seems that Saint Euler had answered their pleas!
They heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
“Good luck on your quals, and to all a good night!”