Life is an Adventure

As a therapist who works with burnout and trauma, I hear this constantly. And here's what I want you to know right off the bat: that feeling isn't a personal failure. It's actually a totally predictable response to being a human in the age of infinite, relentless, emotionally charged information.

Our nervous systems were never built for this. We weren't designed to process 24/7 crisis coverage. And yet a lot of us feel guilty for even wanting to step away — like staying informed is the same as being a good, caring person.

It's not. And we need to talk about that.

Why You're So Exhausted (It's Not Just You)

It's not just the volume of bad news. It's the emotional weight of it — all those stressors piling up faster than you can process them.

A lot of people are walking around right now feeling:

Emotionally drained — before the day even starts
Chronically anxious — like something bad is always about to happen
Completely overwhelmed — unable to focus, prioritize, or even make small decisions

Here's why: when the world feels chaotic, your brain goes into threat-detection mode. It's scanning for danger constantly. And media? Media knows this. "If it bleeds, it leads" isn't just a cynical saying — it's a psychological reality.

The good news is there are real tools that can help. Two that you can try out at home? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) strategies and mindfulness. They're not about burying your head in the sand — they're about staying engaged without getting consumed.

CBT: Changing How You Think About the News

CBT is basically about noticing the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors — and gently interrupting the unhelpful loops.

Step 1: Catch the cognitive distortions

When you're doom-scrolling, your brain can start doing some pretty dramatic things:

Catastrophizing — assuming the worst will definitely happen
Overgeneralizing — "this one thing proves everything is broken"
Emotional reasoning — "I feel terrified, so the world must be terrifying"

Just noticing these patterns is huge. It creates a little space between you and the spiral.

Step 2: Try a different story

Instead of "the world is falling apart," what if you tried:

"This is one part of a much bigger picture."

"I can stay informed without absorbing everything."

"I can care without carrying all of it."

This isn't toxic positivity. It's not pretending things are fine. It's just giving yourself some breathing room.

Step 3: Actually set some limits

CBT loves a good behavioral experiment — basically, just try something and see how it feels. Some things worth experimenting with:

Check the news at set times instead of constantly- your brain will be reassured if you know that you WILL take a look, just not at any moment (once upon a time, we all watched the news at 6pm, if you can believe it!)
Pick one or two sources you actually trust
No doomscrolling before bed (your brain will thank you)
Turn off push notifications (seriously, try it)

Small changes. Big difference.

Mindfulness: Coming Back to Right Now

Mindfulness isn't about emptying your mind or achieving some zen state. It's about noticing what's happening — in your body, your thoughts, your reactions — and choosing how to respond instead of just reacting.

Get grounded, literally

When global anxiety hits, your mind tends to either race into the future or spiral into helplessness. Grounding pulls you back to now.

Try this:

Pause

Take a breath

Feel your feet on the floor

Name one thing you can see, hear, and touch

It sounds almost too simple, but it really does interrupt the overwhelm cycle.

You don't have to broadcast everything

Not every crisis requires a public reaction from you. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is hold space — stay grounded, support the people around you, listen without losing yourself.

This is especially true if you're a caregiver, educator, activist, or anyone in a helping role. You're allowed to have limits. And your limits are allowed to change sometimes.

Look for the helpers

Fred Rogers' mom told him that when things look scary, look for the people who are helping. Mindfulness helps you do that — to widen your view so you see not only the suffering, but also the resilience, the kindness, the people quietly fixing things.

Your nervous system genuinely needs that balance.

Don’t Save the World — Save Your Neighborhood

One of my favorite reframes: instead of trying to hold global responsibility, focus on local agency.

You can't fix everything. But you can:

Check on a neighbor

Volunteer somewhere nearby

Donate to a cause you believe in

Be kind in your everyday interactions

These things matter. They ripple outward. And unlike trying to personally solve geopolitics, they’re actually sustainable.

A Practical Game Plan for the News

Here's a simple structure if you want one:

Morning: 10–20 minutes of news from a source you trust, or one local newscast

Evening: 10 minutes max on a news app or one local newscast

After 9 p.m.: Nothing. Your brain needs to wind down.

And while you're consuming news, watch for these signals that you've hit your limit:

Tightness in your chest

Shallow breathing

Racing thoughts

Feeling numb or shut down

That's your nervous system saying enough for now. Listen to it. Step away, breathe, come back later.

One more thing: pair information with action. Reading about a problem without being able to do anything about it breeds helplessness. But reading about a problem and then doing one small thing? That feels like agency. That feels like power.

When It’s More Than Just “A Lot”

If you're noticing persistent exhaustion, trouble concentrating, constant irritability, sleep disruption, or a creeping sense of hopelessness — that's worth paying attention to. That's burnout territory, and it deserves real support.

You don’t have to white-knuckle through that alone. Talking to a therapist, leaning on people you trust, and building in some actual rest can make a genuinely meaningful difference.

The Bottom Line

These strategies work well together because they hit multiple angles:

CBT strategies help you challenge the thoughts pulling you under

Mindfulness helps you regulate your nervous system in real time

Together, they help you stay informed and engaged without losing yourself

You can care deeply about the world and still protect your own wellbeing. Those two things aren't in conflict.

You might not be able to save the world. But you can absolutely show up for your little corner of it — and that matters more than you think.

Tracy Wharton, PhD, LICSW/LCSW-C offers trauma-informed and identity welcoming therapy, and coaching for academics and women navigating peri/menopause. www.thinkfwd.info

On Remembering Your Why

I’ve been reading one of Father Greg Boyle’s books. G, as he is called, works with gang members, young people whose entire mindset is centered around violence and group identity. He shares stories about times that he got angry, frustrated, shaking his fist at the sky, and helplessness- not knowing what to do next. I was thinking about his stories and also about conversations I had with Dolores Huerta, a community organizer who has taught hundreds about meaningful equity and how to make meaningful change. These two people have what appears from the outside to be an unlimited energy, an insurmountable drive. But the truth is that they are just as human and subject to the emotional fallout of the actions of the world as the rest of us.

I remember one year during the 2016 election cycle, Dolores came to the university where I worked at the time. She was leading one of her famous get out the vote tours and had come to rally our young adults. This civil rights icon could have filled the stadium for her rally, but she had been assigned a relatively small auditorium in the back area of the student union and the crowd spilled out into the hallways and central balcony area as people crammed shoulder to shoulder to hear this tiny force of nature. She and I found ourselves quietly waiting in a back hallway, listening to the crowd, for her entrance. “Can I ask you something, please, Dolores?” “Of course.” “My students talk about burnout,” I said, with tears unexplainedly starting to rise. “They ask how we keep going. I don’t know what to say. It’s so hard sometimes. Everything is just… so hard. And it just keeps going. How do you keep going? What do I say to them?” I asked as I tried not to let my own emotions rise to the surface. She paused, turned her body towards me fully and looked up at me with the deep compassion of a mother who has raised children and an activist who has rallied cities. She took my hand and patted it. “I see what has happened,” she said. “Your country has broken your heart.” I was stunned. We stared at each other for a heartbeat. “Don’t worry. It won’t be the last time. So get angry. Scream and stomp your feet. Have your pity party- that’s ok. … … Then get your ass up, brush it off and get back to work.”

I recently had the opportunity to visit the foundation that she started with her daughters in California. They live and work in the same place where Dolores led grape worker strikes all those years ago, now a deeply red political district, kept that way by redistricting every time power from the people rises too far. I met vecinos (community members) who had learned english to be able to testify about poisoned water, youth who had led a campaign to install sidewalks near schools, middle schoolers who led get out the vote campaigns, and I walked with Dolores and her daughter Cecelia in the field where she had first taken up a megaphone. We talked about “just doing the next thing,” and how there was always something else- sometimes small, sometimes enormous, but always equally important to the people in the way. The work was not just about clean water, vaccines, and voting, but also about swimming pools and soccer fields- places to find joy and fun. Equity and community are not just about keeping hate at bay- they are also about building good lives for people.

At the end of the day, after a full agenda of business meetings, walking tours, and photo ops, we were leaving from dinner. Dolores turned to me and Liz, who was going to give us rides home, and asks “hey- do you want to go see some jazz?” Liz and I looked at each other. “Jazz?,” I asked, “really? I mean, it’s been a long day.” “There’s this group that gets together every Tuesday night to jam, and tonight there are some students that I know sitting in. It’s on a patio- great space. Want to go? I mean- if you’re too tired, I understand. The times zones and all…” Liz and I agreed and we headed to jazz night. We got drinks at the bar- Dolores asked for the good tequila- sat near the back, and we had a thoroughly lovely time for a few hours. I asked Dolores how often she came and she told me “as often as I can. You have to do fun things and this is soo good.” As we got up to leave, a group of women across the room noticed her as the crowd parted and came rushing over, asking for photos and autographs. Now nearly 10pm on a Tuesday night, Liz and I looked at each other, wondering if we needed to help her escape, but Dolores moved towards them without an ounce of hesitation. I watched as she shook each hand, made eye contact and asked “Hello! What’s your name and what do you do for your community?”

What a profound and simple question- what do you do for your community? And not just that- name yourself and take credit for what you do. Don’t seek out recognition, but don’t shy away from it either. As she spoke to every person who came up to her, a growing line as we watched, she greeted every person equally and without an ounce of hesitation. I watched from just behind her right shoulder. I saw genuine curiosity, and a knowingness that her question prompted something important that immediately told people what was important to her. And every response- every response- no matter how seemingly insignificant- was validated with a smile and encouragement.

There is something central and important here about how we do things and what we choose to do. The call to action is to do something. Anything. It actually doesn’t matter how small, because lots of small things add up to big things. Everyone doing something moves us in a direction, and we can see each other in how we relate to and support one another. Our differences are there, but so are our relationships, and those relationships give us common ground. Sometimes it’s just an inch of common ground, but it’s there.

The other important lesson from Father G and Dolores is to do things that make you happy and don’t forget the joy in the world- go see jazz. Be present and enjoy the good tequila. Remember why you fight and what you are fighting for. You have to remember your “why.”

There is just so much happening in the world, and while we all take breaks from the news barrage, turning away is not an option. It is easy to feel helpless in the face of so much hatred, death, and destruction. I found myself bolstered by knowing that Father G sometimes feels helpless, sometimes doesn’t know what to say. I found myself reminded that Dolores knows exactly how I feel- she has felt it too. And both know that change is incremental- it’s a long game, sometimes very long, but that the time scale of the world doesn’t always match what we want it to be, and nothing happens if we do nothing. Sometimes we are just doing “the next thing”- the small thing in front of us in our little corner of the world. But we cannot lose sight of our “why.” We cannot lose sight of the impact that we have when we take action, and what is at stake. When you lose sight of that, it’s all just paperwork and responsibility, and it’s heavy and hard. Knowing your why doesn’t make it less hard, or less heavy, but it does remind you that you are not alone and that you are not carrying anything by yourself. Community becomes a magic word. So- what do you do for your community? What’s your ”why?”

Its Not In Your Head!

I went to a social activity yesterday and once again found myself having a conversation with a group of women in their late 30s and 40s. The discussion turned to the most recent gaslighting from medical providers about pain and physical stuff. One of the women had been diagnosed with endometriosis some years ago. Her current doctor flippantly brushed off the diagnosis and just told her to take some Tylenol. She spent days doubled over in pain, some days unable to keep food down, and weeks where her bleeding was hard enough to be scary. Some of you know what I’m talking about. Those weeks.

Another of the women was very clearly in the early stages of perimenopause. She talked about her body thermostat being broken, being cold and hot at the same time and waking up sweating. After a little discussion, she realized she was also experiencing some brain fog and weird mood swings that had just never been part of her life before. One of the other women talked about anxiety appearing in her life for the first time in her 40s.

These women were experiencing things that many people who live in female bodies understand. Endometriosis is a very painful disorder. It’s not in your imagination, and it’s definitely not something to be ignored or dismissed by a medical provider. And the symptoms of perimenopause happen to everyone who resides in a female body.

Our hormones impact all kinds of things in our physical body, including our brains! Unfortunately, western medicine has taught us that if something can’t be diagnosed with a blood test or seen on an x-ray, it must be in your head. And somehow along the way we’ve decided that if something is in our head, it’s not real. Both of these assumptions are incorrect.

Hormonal changes impact more than just our reproductive organs. Mood, joints, skin, hair, ability to focus, emotional resilience, all of these things are directly influenced by the changes of hormones that naturally occur as our bodies get a little bit older. Yes, even women who have had a hysterectomy or oopherectomy can still experience these things, despite what they may have been told (a recent danish research study actually found a life-extending benefit to hormone therapy for these women!). We aren’t broken. This is a natural and expected process, but it’s also one that has been tremendously taboo for decades. We are now living longer than ever, and when we hit age 50, it’s possible that we still have another 40 years left of life! In order for that to happen, some adjustments need to be made to how we take care of our skin and our hair, how we exercise our body, and how we apply the focus of our mind.

Some tips for you to consider during peri/menopause

1- Find some reputable sources of good information. Not everything online is a good resource, but the Internet does make Information more accessible than ever. Try the Mayo Clinic, Cleveland clinic, or WebMD for some good places to start. Use these resources to help structure questions for your healthcare providers. The name of the game here is to get a good dialogue going with your doctor. A meaningful treatment plan needs to be personal.

2- If your healthcare provider dismisses your concerns, or if you don’t feel like you’re being heard, or if your healthcare provider has ever just told you to wear layers (y’all know the conversation I’m talking about!), get another provider. You can get a second opinion if you don’t want to fully leave your primary provider, or you can try a telehealth service. Check the National Menopause Society for some guidance on how to find a doc who understands hormonal changes. Medical doctors are specialists, and sometimes what you’re going through may just not be their thing. Honestly, we ask physicians to be experts in an intensely huge body of knowledge, and they just can’t be great at everything. When that happens, it’s time to find a different provider.

3- Know that you aren’t losing your mind. Mood swings and brain fog, weird joint pain, leaking and bladder changes, strange body changes… These things are all common when our hormones decide to party without telling us in advance. Don’t be embarrassed. Talk to other women. You might find that you’re much less alone than you think. If you are really struggling and can’t get out of your own head, reach out for some professional support. A therapist or a life coach can be a great ally during these kinds of transitions.

4- There is nothing wrong with trying herbal, naturopathic, or ayurvedic approaches to health, but you must absolutely share this information with any medical provider that is prescribing other kinds of medications for you. Just because something isn’t regulated doesn’t mean that it can’t have an interaction. It’s an untrue story that doctors won’t talk about natural cures. Doctors are just as human as everyone else, and even if they don’t know much about it, it’s important for them to know that you’re taking something so that they can bear that in mind when they monitor symptoms, or prescribe a new medication. For example, if you take an antidepressant, there are some classes of medications that 100% do not play well with certain herbal remedies, but there are other types of medications that do the same thing and don’t have known interactions. Don’t avoid sharing information because you’re making assumptions or you’re afraid of being judged! Share the information and use your healthcare team to support your best approach to health.

Finding the right resources about peri/menopause

I do have some favorite books, YouTube and podcast people, and some providers that I personally like. I’m happy to share those through a private message or comments if you want to reach out (drtracywharton@gmail), but there’s nothing magical about the ones that I’ve found- there’s lots of good information out there. Just remember to be discerning and don’t trust something just because someone has the right degrees. You should hear some consistent information across multiple sources. Research on women’s health has been advancing over the last couple of decades, and more research is coming out all the time. There are a lot of options to help us reside more comfortably in our physical bodies, so don’t take no for an answer!

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Aging in a female body is an unfolding adventure. You’ve had coaches for all kinds of things in life: sports, music, jobs – why not now? If you think some life coaching would help support you, check out www.thinkfwd.info

I’m celebrating a win today!

Three months ago I got my first faculty coaching client. The person was in a situation where the faculty line had been eliminated and they were facing the end of their job. We talked through their goals, their wishes, the emotional fallout of it all. We worked through the nuances of CVs, letters, and prepping for an interview series. A lot of academics aren’t always clear on the different nuances of types of universities- and those matter a lot when you are applying for an R1 school with a research focus versus a teaching-focused program! Those details show up in how your CV is organized, what you put forward first in your letters, and the emphasis that you have in your interviews. Understanding the context can make a difference. And let’s be real, our egos take a big hit in this kind of situation. There’s just no way around that, and it’s important to talk it out and not let that stop you from moving forward.

My client revised their CV, drafted kickass letters, and applied for a few jobs. When the invite came for interviews (because they are amazing!), we talked about how to prepare and what was going to be important for the client. When they got the site-visit invite, they knew exactly what to look for in person and what was going to be important in the decision making process. They went on the interview and received a job offer that same day!

I’m thrilled to be supporting them as they work through the negotiation about salary, benefits, and tenure expectations, and accepting an offer to shift into an exciting next step in their career. Celebrating the success of my client is so exciting, and I am looking forward to hearing about the move and the first semester in the new place.

If you have been looking for someone to help you through this process, let me help you work through the details and let your skills and experience shine. I’d love to hear about your dreams for what’s next in your career!

Do I belong in grad school?

When people ask me what I do, I usually say that I’m a social scientist. I’m in public health and I am a social worker and researcher. Human behavior is my favorite fascination. Most of the people that I know on this platform met me along the way in one of the positions that I have held in those fields.

Here is something that many people don’t know about me- I quit college. Twice. I thought that I was awful at learning and didn’t belong there.

I went to a fine-arts high school, and I was a great student. I struggled with math and some science and an undiagnosed learning disability, but I did ok and got through it all. I was expected to go to college, and I did. My grandparents and great-grandparents had immigrated to this country so that I would have these advantages, and there was no question that it was an expectation. So I went. I was a mess. I didn’t belong- I wasn’t a sorority type, or a band member, and I wasn’t into sports. I partied, skated through some classes, then thought- well, maybe I’m in the wrong place! I quit the private liberal arts university, and decided to give it a try at a big public university. I lasted about a year before I quit again and took off on a performance tour. I had no intention of going back.

College as an Adult

It was years before I gave it another shot. A friend convinced me to tour a night-school program and consider a psychology class, and I enrolled that night when the tour got me lit up about interesting ideas for the first time in a long time. Going back to school as an adult was a completely different experience.

I was older than the average college student and had been out of college and working as a performer in the real world, with bills to pay and everything, but night classes had lots of people who were my age or older, all of us testing out new pathways towards careers.

I wish I had known...

In hindsight, I wish that I had done a bit more exploring and learned a bit more about career options. I jumped into a great program in counseling psychology, and graduated with very little struggle, but the career path was not what I had hoped it to be. No one had introduced me to the range of options that might have been possibilities for me. I had no idea what questions I should have asked.

Even though I landed a good job after graduation, it turns out that I did not like being a family therapist. I managed to move into an admin position and discovered that I really did love program management and community building. I thrived in the job, right up until the layoffs happened. I was crushed. After floundering around for a bit and losing more than one job to a person with a PhD, I decided that I needed one of those.

I spent years as a college professor- and I loved it. I had great mentors that helped me understand the labyrinthine and bizarre rules of academia, faculty self-governance, and how to package my work to make sense to reviewers not in my field. I learned about budgets that keep universities running, grantwriting, project direction, hiring practices, admissions, and leadership.

After I made it through tenure, after years of mentoring students, leading committees, writing and managing grants and research, after years of teaching and publishing- I had an opportunity to return to non-profit to make an impact in an area that meant a lot to me. I made the jump out of academia into a job that I positively loved, building community coalitions to address healthcare access for diverse communities. It was awesome. Until the layoffs happened.

This time, I decided to make the leap into building my own business.

When I think back on my time in academia, I now recognize all of the code-switching that I learned, all the rules that I learned to recognize- and the ones that I decided to break. I reflect back on finding what it means to represent yourself authentically in environments that are not made for you, without compromising your integrity.

How do I find a mentor?

If you are wondering whether you belong, have wondered what to do when your mentor turns out to be the wrong person, or why you can’t get your paper over the finish line, I’ve got you. I’ve been there.

Step back and re-focus on the things that matter to you.

Introduce yourself to that faculty member who studies the cool thing that you are interested in- I promise you- faculty love talking about their own work, and very few people ask about it!

Keep it in perspective and remember that you are saying no to something every time that you say yes to something else.

Reach out for help when you need it- you are not alone.

Lost in the Academic Maze?

I am stepping into a new venture! Well, in truth, this is something that I have done for years getting moved from the back to the front burner. I am shifting from a national focus on community empowerment and health equity to personal, real-life focused, on-the-ground empowerment.

Think Forward Consulting is a one-stop shop for academic mentoring for career faculty and adult students, individual therapy for adults, and consulting services for nonprofit and public sector organizations.

Do you need help to make decisions, plan, analyze, strategize, or remember your "why"?

Academic Mentorship for academics and adult students who are trying to navigate the unspoken rules of academia.
Consulting and contracting services, including program evaluation, outcomes mapping, theory development, data analysis, or content creation.
Facilitation of group meetings or convenings.
Subject-matter expert presentations or workshops. I bring meaningful and engaging workshops on compassion fatigue, burnout, and understanding the importance of program evaluation to groups of all sizes.
Are you an organization that wants a private EAP provider? I can provide up to 10 hours of service per week for $4,000/month. Schedule a discussion call to set this up and get started.
Individual therapy for adults; I am a doctoral-level clinical social worker with a focus on trauma, adjustment and anxiety, peri/menopause, military and foreign/civil service, high achieving women, and medical settings/health management.

Finding Mentors, Fitting In, and Holding Boundaries

Have you have found yourself wondering how people find mentors who open doors for them or find the job in that place where you actually fit in? Have you been trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up, or narrow down the possibilities and decide on a graduate program? If you have struggled to hold boundaries that support a workable and realistic work-life balance, let’s work together to build a support system to make it happen.

You don't have to figure out the unwritten rules alone.

Let's think forward together! Reach out for a quick call to see if I’m a good fit. We’ll define a plan that fits your workflow, life, and budget. Let me put my skills to work for you.

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