Amen & Amen

Our hospital happiness largely depends on a few things: our hospital roommate situation, our care team, and our food options. Any one of these things can swing our stay from stellar to subpar. During this visit, we started off in a shared room. I won't lie, it was rough. Maybe you're thinking, how bad can it be? But hospital life is tricky on its best day. Add to the scenario people who are deeply introverted and a roommate who is struggling with intestinal issues and the situation degrades quickly. Shared space, shared noises, shared smells. Some bodies, like my body and Anna’s body, don’t let down in conjoined spaces. Each of our cells stands at attention, on alert. Breathing is shallower and a type of paralysis sets in like we are frozen or moving through a vat of jello. The slow and rhythmic ticking of a non-existent clock pounds in our ears as each moment slowly drudges on. Add the fact that my chair/bed was quaintly placed against the back of the roommate’s bedside commode separated by a thin and somewhat transparent paper curtain and you’ve got a veritable package of wonder and delight. Our roommate situation was quickly registering our stay on the negative end of the scale. But the story does not end here. Enter Chris and Carlito.

Chris said beet juice or even beet powder can lower blood pressure. He said his blood pressure is always high when he goes to the doctor's office. He takes it at home though, so he knows it's normal. Just a case of whitecoat syndrome. The same thing happens to Anna, so they became fast friends. Chris has worked at UCD for three years. He is one of two male nurses on the floor. He quickly became one of our favorites. Chris is a light sleeper. He was horrified by the shared room experience. He won our hearts when he brought in blankets to cover the lights on the IV monitor, rearranged the curtain so it could best cover all the light streaming in from doorways and windows, and gave a strong argument to the charge nurse as to why Anna most certainly should have a private room. Today we were delighted to have Chris as our night shift nurse again. I asked him for a sheet for my convertible chair/bed. Not only did he bring my sheet, but he unexpectedly made up the chair/bed complete with a bottom sheet, a top sheet, and a tucked-in blanket, hospital corners included. No female nurse has ever done that for me. Chris likes to garden and wishes for chickens. He’s only renting now but maybe someday. He called maintenance and had the air turned down in our room. Anna was freezing. He was happy to call again if we needed it turned back up. He was concerned, attentive, and personal. We are excited to have added a new member to Team Anna.

Carlito has 14 brothers and 4 sisters. We didn’t know his name as of yesterday, but we wanted to know because we liked him so much. When he answered, “Carlito '', he immediately told us his mother was Mexican and that's why a black man has a name like Carlito. He also said his Mama was mean! But, he said, she had to be! He said things were different in his day. If he got squirrely, his neighbor would backhand him, then his auntie would wallop him, and finally, when his Mama found out, she’d give him another go around. He said he started paying attention to what his Mama liked and that's how he got less disciplining. “Kid’s these days”, he said, shaking his head. Carlito is on the foodservice team. He knows Anna doesn’t like the smell of the food trays and he leaves them outside her door. He calls her Miss AH-nna. Yesterday he greeted me in the hall with, “Hello beautiful! Here I am unwashed with 2-day old braids, flip-flopping through the halls in pajamas, “beautiful” indeed.

While I was downstairs getting breakfast this morning, he delivered Anna’s tray. “I’ve got your back when your Mama isn’t around, ” he assured her. It’s the first thing she said when I came back to the room, “Carlito has my back, Mom”, a grin from ear to ear. I told Carlito that we really appreciated him and that he makes a difference in our day. He got real serious and stopped shuffling around the room. “Well, you know, I spend an awful lot of time in prayer.” I’ve heard a lot of people talk about prayer in my lifetime. A lot of it makes me roll my eyes, most of it if I"m honest. But I believe Carlito when he says he prays. Not the “thoughts and prayers” cliche that people offer when they don’t know what else to say. Not the cheap prayer platitudes that sting the recipient’s ears. Not the vending machine prayers that ask the Universe for parking spots and easy living. No, Carlito definitely prays. His generosity of heart and a spirit tuned to others is a testament to exactly that!

Thank you, Chris and Carlito. You brought moments of relief, levity, and a little glimpse of heaven in a hellish time. You provided our daily bread through your goodness and delivered us from the evil of self-pity. Amen and Amen.