It was the year 1999

I, The Taco Bell Chihuahua, had been a mascot for the restaurant for only two years 

Before me, there was Nacho and Dog who were trying to advertise Taco Bell’s kids’ menu 

They did not last long 

Then I came 

I was the craziest mascot for fast food since the Noid for Domino’s pizza 

Obscure I know

However 

The world was feeling the dawn of a new era 

The dawn of a possible fear

Y2K!!! 

Little did they know I may have had something to do with it 

But they didn’t cover it on the news

They didn't mention it on the internet forums

They just cared about getting survival kits and checking their wallets just to get a Y2K bug plushy!

But soon once it became January 1st of the year 2000

It was the most anticlimactic thing known to man 

Well a few were affected, but not that much

Egypt lost heat for a few hours… 

But I was ALSO responsible for saving the day 

I managed to fix the power lines so quickly that if you blinked you would have missed it!

I fixed the planes that people assumed were going to crash!

I fixed up all the analog signals on all the analog TVs in the world 

…Boy that was tiring 

I even fixed all the clocks on the computers and saved the reputations of a butt load of internet websites that got quickly annihilated by the stock market a few months later

A few months later I got phased out of Taco Bell

They went in a new direction with the slogan, Run to the border. 

iAy, caramba! More like RUN TO THE BATHROOM!

They also got rid of the kid's meal 

And changing their logo into the minimalistic world of WHY

Well I guess that the end for now

I’ve just been in the abyss of forgotten 90s things 

At least someone remembers me 

I guess I’ll say this for the Kagillienth time…

YO QUIERO TACO BELL! 

Also I’m not a fan of Taco Bell, I just appreciate good advertising and marketing.

Toys “R” Us founder, Charles Lazarus opened the first store in 1957.

A visit to Toys “R” Us felt like toy heaven!

With Dr. G Raffe (later Geoffrey) at the helm, they created a soundtrack for 80s and 90’s kids 

“I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid!”

But doom was looming 

Oh my, Oh my!

Walmart, Amazon, and leveraged buyouts

Toys R Us couldn’t compete

Then, came the smell of defeat

Chapter 11 Bankruptcy protection.

Followed by Liquidation.

Uh oh!

After 60+ years in business Toys R Us closed its doors.

Post-bankruptcy, they took a chance and partnered with perhaps the worst choice 

Kroger!?

Their big idea, you might ask

Cheap cardboard box displays

Just three words

IT WAS BAD!!!

After a couple more failures 

They partnered with a more sensible choice 

Macy’s!

In the Fall of 2022, an extravagant multi-day grand opening celebration happened that ended with Geoffrey’s birthday

Happy birthday Geoffrey!

It was charming and unique, with a hint of magic

As Geoffrey sat on a bench welcoming guests 

Oh, how I long for the days of bikes, trains, and video games, it's the greatest toy store there is! (Gee Whiz!) 

In my heart, I will always be a Toys R Us kid

And so I say 

Toys R Us, return with grace!