Separation Anxiety

If you notice your child is having a hard time with separation anxiety, please reach out to me via email or phone so we can work together to support them.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is when a child feels worried or upset about being apart from their parent or caregiver. It’s a normal stage of development, especially in young children starting school, and usually improves as they learn that their parent will always come back.

What are the symptoms of separation anxiety?

If your child is feeling anxious before or during separation events, these are some of the symptoms they might display:

• Visible distress when thinking about being alone in the future

• Trouble sleeping – not wanting to sleep alone, waking up in the middle of the night, or recurrent dreams about separation

• Worrying about family members when they are away

• Crying, panicking, or tantrums when separating (dropping off at school, running errands, etc.)

• Expressing worry about illness, disaster, kidnapping, or being lost

• Not wanting to go to school or leave the house for any reason

• Exceptional clinginess

• Frequent stomach aches or headaches

• Tension and/or muscle aches

Surviving separation anxiety: 6 tips to try

Separation can be challenging for young children, but with consistency and support, they can build confidence and independence. Here are some strategies that can help ease the transition:

1. Establish a short goodbye ritual
   Create a simple and predictable way to say goodbye—such as a hug, a kiss, or a special handshake. Keeping goodbyes brief reduces stress and helps your child move forward with their day.

2. Be consistent with routines
   Use the same drop-off routine at the same time each day. Consistency builds a sense of security and helps your child know what to expect.

3. Be fully present during separation
   Offer your full attention, warmth, and reassurance before leaving. Once you say goodbye, follow through confidently instead of prolonging the moment.

4. Keep your promises
   Return at the time you’ve promised. This consistency teaches your child they can rely on you and strengthens their trust and independence.

5. Use child-friendly language about time
   Frame your return in terms your child understands, such as “after nap time” or “after three sleeps.” Concrete examples make waiting easier.

6. Practice short separations
   Allow your child opportunities to spend time with trusted family members, friends, or caregivers. Short, positive experiences apart prepare them for longer separations like school or childcare.

7. Make future plans

Before you separate, communicate what will happen later. Letting your child know that “after school, I will pick you up, and we will go home” or “when I get back, we can play a game together” might be all your child needs to feel safe, secure, and reassured while you are away.

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