What does shame look like?

Sexual shame can show up in a variety of ways, including but not limited to:

• Feeling bad/guilty about engaging in sexual behaviors (sexual behaviors includes: kissing, fondling, any kind of sex, masturbation, watching porn, etc)

• Not being able to use medically accurate (vulva, vagina, penis, testicles, etc) terms without feeling embarrassed

• Feeling guilty about who you're attracted to

• Being uncomfortable with normal doctoral procedures such as having to take your clothes off to be examined

• Believing people who have sex (before marriage and/or with multiple people) are chewed-up gum, less sticky tape, dirty chocolate, or some other synonymous term

• Feeling like a "sinful" person for engaging in sexual behaviors

• Not being able to discuss your sexual desires or needs with your partner(s) due to guilt, shame, embarrassment, or something else

• Feeling insecure about your body

• Having never looked at your genitals

• Thinking "sex is everywhere"

• Victim-blaming people who have been sexually assaulted (e.g. saying or thinking they probably wanted it, they deserved it based on what they were doing or wearing, or they should have wanted it)

• Insisting that girls should be modest and/or 

• Insisting that if girls are not modest (in their clothing or otherwise), then they don't respect themselves

• Believing that sexual health is not an important aspect of life

• Insulting or judging other people for their sexual preferences and desires