344 ==>

Haha!  You think to yourself.  You enter the game and are immediately bombarded by 2 imps and a basalisk.

They seem to want to kill you, right now, and for very good reason too.  You stole one of their knives that they behind glass on a pedestal in a cathedral.  Coloured in indigo, you recall, the cathedral was.  You had to fight through a bunch of really strong enemies including ogres and even a centurion.  That's part of what garnered you so much exp to level up to 5, all the damn enemies you slayed to get the knife.  After picking up the knife, a bunch of victory music started to play.  You didn't hear any of it, as you put on some lofi hip-hop while playing, and turned the game audio down.  Additionally, the knife almost acted like it spoke to you, but you were too busy trying to log off at the time because you needed to get to some dumb business meeting about the game, and you captchalogued your knife.

Also, it seems as though grumpy mcgrumpface isn't wanting to talk to you, or if he is, he hasn't yet.  So, if you don't have a plan, we could-

>TAKE OUT DILDO