Hello, my name is Sam Severon and I am recording this for my son, Meowroar. There are many things that I couldn't have said while you were growing up that I must now that you have reached your second life, assuming Meowrisa gives you this when you first die, if that's how I remember cats to work. One of the many things I would love to tell you is your lineage.
You come from a long line of inventors, discoverers, and general greatness. I have no expectation that you will continue this tradition, however, if you do, I hope you know that you would be attuned with your ancestors. Or at least that's what I think. I'm not sure anymore. I went to this crazy place the locals call the medium, and I met this fine woman who the people call their queen. She invited me to her chambers, and, well, you can read about it in my book. What I'm trying to say is that when went into her chambers, she said something strange to me. She said that any future children that I would bear would be the heir to the kingdom of Prospit. I, of course, wanted to get out of there before her husband came in, and then I met your mother, who said that she was out of eggs, I thought it would be okay if I didn't pull out. This isn't to say that you yourself are a mistake, I wanted to have children, one day, but I am a bit young for parenthood, and your mother is more mature than me.
If what the queen said was true, I suspect that you are the heir to Prospit. So please, find Prospit, and become a good ruler.
The other thing I wanted to tell you is that -oh shit, your mother's water just broke, I have to go take her to the hospital. I'll record you another message once you're done being born, I promise.
It just ends there. The next minute is an old song about some guys being members of a "midnight crew" or something like that. You wait for the next silly thing you'll do.