Overheard at NHS
By: Orli Kadar
Published April 1st
“I’m thinking about going into medicine.”
–The Dumbest Person you Know
“It’s a real achievement that the Wellness teachers discovered sexism… I never would have known about it otherwise.”
–Enlightened Junior
“I can’t believe I lost my class’s Poetry Out Loud competition. I’m so clearly better than everyone else.”
–Disgruntled Speech and Debate Member
“I’ve decided that I’m applying to [Insert Subpar University]. Their incessant emailing finally won me over.”
–Exhausted Junior
“I think I deserve some recognition for all my hard work at this school.”
– Teacher who constantly mixes up the names of his students
“It looks good on my transcript, but I think it’s kind of weird that we had to take a blood oath and promise to give our firstborn child to Dr. Gutekanst.”
–National Honor Society Member
“Are you really a man if you don’t have the biggest pickup truck in the lower lot?”
–Star-Struck Junior
“I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m such a noble, selfless person– It’s not like I solved racism. Actually, nevermind.”
–Humblest student in CCOR
“I can’t believe we have to write an essay.”
–AP Lang Student