The Foster System: “A Home for All,” You'd Think

As kids we all look up to our parents, trusting them with everything. Parents are supposed to believe in us and prepare us for the future. Sometimes the people who love you the most have no idea how to love right, and it turns into neglect. Neglect can come in many forms, mental, physical, and even medical. The government's foster system is designed to provide children with a “great” place to feel secure and happy, with the goal of preventing neglect altogether. 

The Foster System was first called the Foster Aid Society, created by Charles Loring Brace in 1853. Brace’s main goal was to keep children off the streets of New York. In the 1830’s the government decided to become involved in children's welfare, by dispatching children across farms in the Midwest. These children were mainly orphans who lost their parents due to raging diseases in big cities.  After being shipped away to farms these children were meant to help out in exchange for room and board. This was known as the Foster Train System. 

Then in the 1900’s it was decided that each child was different and therefore children needed homes suitable to their different needs. Since then there have been many acts put into place that help kids find their forever home, such as the Adoption and Safe Families Act (AFSA), which limited the amount of time children were allowed to stay in foster care before adoption or reunification. Foster care is defined as, “a temporary living situation for kids whose parents cannot take care of them and whose need for care has come to the attention of child welfare agency staff.” Many children above the age of 16 are capable of making strong responsible decisions, but the state still sees them as children so they are placed in a home with others that are struggling. When they turn 18, these young adults are on their own and can end up on the street or worse. 

The system is filled with too many rules and doesn't listen to the child's true needs, despite suggestions.  The outcome can be the complete opposite of what it was formed to accomplish. Children’s voices go unheard and can leave them feeling more empty and frustrated than before.​ There is no room for mistakes in foster care: it is all a risk, the fear of not being liked, or being displaced because you weren't good enough. But if you're lucky enough, someone you know will take you in, and it could end up being one of the best things that could ever happen to you. Those who you would have never thought about may become your family in the blink of an eye, providing you with not a house, but a home, a real forever home. That is the hope, at least until the system strikes again, unpredictably moving children from place to place. Children become frazzled trying to keep track of their belongings all the while moving and losing their minds on the way. 

As a kid in the system, it can oftentimes be troubling to ask your new guardian for basic things, like to have a school permission slip signed or to do your laundry. Due to this, children can often become independent too fast. They miss out on the important parts of being a kid and doing simple things like learning to ride a bike or having family movie nights. Most of the time, these kids grow up to be adults who are ready to take on whatever life throws at them yet still look for someone to cherish and nurture them. Since the system does not provide the care and help that's needed to ensure these kids are physically and mentally ready for the real world, they often do it themselves. It’s hard to adjust to a new environment, but kids in foster care find ways to make it feel special and safe. The system won't ever worship and believe in you the way your parents were supposed to, but just because you live in a house doesn't mean it is your home. A home is what you make it; sometimes it’s not just a place but a person.