Ranking BDB Conspiracy Theories

For the lovely month of December, I thought it would be a great time to look back at the Blue Devil Beat’s past articles and publications and revisit some of them. And of course, what better category to start with than Conspiracy Theories? For this ranking, I will be looking through each Conspiracy Theory the Blue Devil Beat has ever published an article about and ranking them from most entertaining to least based on my personal opinion. Before I begin, it's important to first clarify that I am ranking the Conspiracy Theories themselves, not the articles written on them or the authors of these articles. Second, this is an opinion piece, and I am very biased. Third, if any of these theories sound interesting to you, I encourage you to read them yourself. And finally, I will only be ranking 10 of the 15 articles for time and peace of mind.

10. The “Redheads are Witches” Theory by Quinn Blair-Heim

• In the 14th and 15th centuries, many cultures believed that redheads were soulless, leading to many witch trials and the theory that people with red hair are witches. This theory is ridiculous when you first hear it, making it relatively amusing, although its base in real history removes some of the absurdity. That’s why I listed it as ten.

9. Stereotypical or Symbolic? by Sophia Penrose

• This theory and article are both very interesting, delving into the idea of underlying messages in popular television shows and franchises and exaggerated personality traits used to create these archetypes. While this theory isn’t technically “funny,” it is interesting, unique, and well thought out, making this an interesting and intelligent theory.

8. The Freemasons Society by Evangelina Greenwood

• The Freemasons were an Enlightenment Era-based “secret society” dedicated to creating a more advanced society and were believed to be very influential during their time. Many famous figures like George Washington were believed to have been a part of the Society. This is an old and well-known theory, although you don’t hear much about it. For that reason, it’s number eight.

7. Lady Lindy Gone Wild by Evangelina Greenwood

• This article discusses the multiple theories about the suspicious circumstances of Amelia Earhart's death, and what really could have happened to her. Some of these theories are absurd, like espionage and faked deaths, making the article a fun collection of thoughts and ideas.

6. The King of Pop: Dead or Alive? by Nina Parker

• Everyone knows the name Michael Jackson, and everyone knows about his untimely and surprising death. Many theories are listed here, touching on the idea that his death was faked, he was replaced by a fake, or that he was murdered. All of these theories may be well-known, but they are fun to read and learn about.

5. We Live In A Simulation by Quinn Blair-Heim

• Many people love to joke about living in a simulation, but most don’t know how it may or may not be possible. Turns out, it's about a 50/50 shot, and a lot more complicated than you might think. I’m putting this theory at 5 purely because of how much math and quantum physics are involved in even crafting the beginnings of the theory.

4. Mysterious Encounters with Extraterrestrial Life by Leocadia Rothschild

• Aliens are always fun to hear about, especially in a large collection of stories like this one. When learning about extraterrestrial life, there really is a lot of variety. For that variety, combined with the unpredictability that always comes up with stories about aliens, this theory couldn’t be anywhere lower than the top five.

3. Tragedy or Strategy: Princess Diana by Sophia Penrose

• Many people are fascinated and intrigued by Princess Diana’s life and tragic death. Diana was a beloved woman and the “People’s Princess.” She supported and furthered many impactful movements during her lifetime, and the car accident that led to her death was understandably hard for the public to come to terms with. Because of this, conspiracies obviously arose. Princess Diana’s death is a classic and well-known collection of theories, and third place is a great spot for it.

2. The Flying Spaghetti Monster by Quinn Blair-Heim

• The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a new “religion” that spends its time worshipping what they claim to be the one true god. While it isn’t technically a conspiracy “theory,” it is a very well thought-out and long-running one. There is a website, merchandise, recognition from some governments, and plenty of artwork and information out there about the religion. Its absurdity knows no bounds; it is endlessly entertaining to learn about, and frankly, it’s hilarious.

1. Birds Aren’t Real by Quinn Blair-Heim and Dominic DiGiulio

• This may be a bit of favoritism on my part, seeing as I helped write this article, but this conspiracy theory is truly a beloved movement. Its suggestion that birds are actually government drones created to spy on us is satire, but its use to drive away real and harmful conspiracy theorists online and in real life is inspiring. It, like number two, is also something that many people have put a lot of work into. The dedication to sticking with the bit is admirable and funny. It’s ridiculous, it’s weird, and it’s dumb, which makes it perfect for the number one spot.