The Problem With “Perfect” 

I wanted to be perfect. I thought I needed to be perfect. Perfect at school, perfect at home, perfect all the time. No matter what. No matter if I was deeply depressed and struggling, or having a wonderful day full of positivity, I needed to be flawless 24/7. I remember times I would get an average grade on a test like an 80% and cry for hours on end because I didn’t get a 100%. Perfectionism. The need to be “perfect.” It can tear people down and ruin their lives. I would know. But thankfully I no longer think like this, due to therapy and a lot of difficult mental work, but this idea is very common in people like me. Many even have Atelophobia, known as the fear of being imperfect. But what is “perfect?” Can it be defined? And how can you end this compulsive need? In this article I’ll be examining the world of perfectionism and be the person who tells you: you don’t need to be perfect. I believe “perfect” isn’t real and is ruining our lives, and also our perception of the world around us. 

Perfection as a definition 

What is perfection? According to Wikipedia, “Perfection is a state, variously, of completeness, flawlessness, or supreme excellence.” It relates to many different areas of life, such as numbers, physics, ethics, and aesthetics. My overall definition of perfection is a word that’s used as a placeholder when someone wants to describe something as really good, and it’s also an unattainable and subjective term and overall idea that has been negatively affecting society since its creation. 

Perfection as an example 

Many people use the word “perfect” or “perfection” as a descriptive word, when they really mean the thing they are describing is really really great. For example many people might say “that song is perfection” but in a literal sense, it’s not. No song is perfect. There’s always going to be something wrong with it, maybe the lyrics aren’t grammatically correct or the beat isn’t 100% consistent. A song can always be better. So there's no way it’s “perfection.” Someone may describe someone as perfect, but this is absolutely false. No human can be perfect. It’s literally impossible to be perfect and also be a human being. The two words “perfect” and “human” basically contradict themselves. If someone was perfect, they would have made no mistakes ever, get exactly 100% on every quiz in school, never stutter or use filler words like “um,” and never cough or even breathe wrong. You’ve probably heard this line before, but it’s so true: nobody's perfect! I’m sick of hearing the word being used as a descriptor when it’s wildly inaccurate and promotes all or none thinking. Let’s use “great” or “amazing” instead. But my real question is: is perfection even real?

Why perfection isn’t real 

Now here’s something you may have never heard from someone before, but I just don’t believe perfection is healthy, and in fact, I don’t believe it’s real at all. The state of being perfect or having perfection is a false narrative made up by society to pressure people into trying to achieve an ultimate goal that, in reality, is unattainable. The idea of perfection is deeply problematic. We are telling ourselves and others that everything must be 100% on point and amazing, when life is nothing like that. Life has ups and downs. Nothing is ever flawless. Nothing will ever be perfect. And that’s okay. We must embrace the mistakes and mishaps of life. It’s what makes us human. You got a failing grade on a test. That’s okay, no one’s perfect. You messed up at work. That’s okay, no one’s perfect. I’m not the first to have this thought on perfection. The Franco-Italian scholar Joseph Juste Scaliger, Italian polymath Lucilio Vanini, and Greek philosopher Empedocles all similarly believed that “the greatest perfection was imperfection, for if the world were perfect, it could not be further perfected.” Perfection is toxic! You aren’t perfect, and you never will be. I’m not perfect, your friends aren’t perfect, your significant other isn’t perfect, none of us are. It’s a scam. A scam to try to make you self-conscious and feel unworthy and unimportant. Many other societal norms make us feel terrible as well, for example, typical offensive gender roles and a rigid anti-aging culture. But we often don’t follow those and rebel from these norms, so how about we don’t follow this one too? When looking at the topic of perfection through the lens of it being fake, it seems kind of silly to be so obsessed with it. So let’s be done with perfection and embrace being imperfect. 

Embrace being imperfect 

We are imperfect, and we should all be proud of it. We’re human, not robots. I make mistakes, you make mistakes, and that’s okay. Perfection is like a toxic friend. It makes you question yourself and where you stand on basic things. It can make you feel great sometimes, like when someone says “you did perfect” on a test or when someone says “you look perfect” on a good hair day. And it can make you feel horrible, like when you compare yourself to a “perfect” person on social media. It’s time to drop this toxic friend. Time to say good-bye to perfection and its negativity and say hello to being an imperfect human being and the comfort that comes with it. Stop chasing perfection. Embrace the real.