Teenage Troubles

We always talk about our own challenges in life, but we never talk about how challenging it really can be as a teenager. We always told ourselves when we were younger how ready we truly were to grow up, but is that necessarily the case? Maybe we don’t want to grow up; maybe we just want the freedom of being an adult. No one ever really thinks about it, but once you start to enter middle school or especially high school, you aren’t prepared right away. Where does this next chapter start? Who do I really want to be? You may question yourself a lot; you may not know who you want to be yet, especially at the age of 13, and that’s okay.

You don’t have to know who you really are right away, and you’ll figure it out along the way. But the question is: how many troubles are along the way? Everyone is just starting to find their own place in the world and their own group of friends, but they haven’t figured out who they want to be as a person yet. 

The challenging part of being a teenager isn’t just trying to be your own person; it’s also knowing how stressful it truly can be. You start to have a lot on your plate. Trying to be a teenager for the first time is hard. You want to fit in with everyone else; you just don’t know how to. You’re not totally sure who you want to be yet. Here are some tips that might help you! 

First and foremost, you may start to get interested in crushes or relationships, whether it’s with boys or girls. What do you do about that one boy you’ve been eyeing? Do you tell him you actually like him, or do you just leave it be and not say anything? Listen, it’s normal to have crushes. It’s nothing you should be ashamed of. When you first show interest in someone, whether it’s someone you have or haven’t talked to, it can be difficult to tell them you like them. Maybe you aren’t ready, or you just don’t want to. You can also feel shy, which is completely normal. You don’t want to embarrass yourself, but you also don’t want to say the wrong thing. It’s also normal to get butterflies in your stomach when you’re around someone you like. 

“But what do you do when your best friend has a crush on someone you like?” Listen to your gut. Talk to friends if you are unsure of what to do. But most of all, be direct. You may ask, “How can I be direct about it?” It’s not just about what your best friend says to your crush; it’s also about body language and actions. Pay attention to how your best friend acts around you and how they act around your crush. If your best friend isn’t acting how she usually acts, that’s a sign you should talk to her about it. Say how you feel; it’s always better to know than to not say anything at all. It’s different if it’s someone you aren’t friends with, but since that’s your best friend, be direct, be discreet, and just talk to them about it.

“What do I do if I really want to be like the most liked girls in school?” The thing is, you don’t have to be like them. Just because you feel easily influenced by a group of girls doesn’t mean you should try to be like them. Those girls could be the meanest people ever, and you don’t need that in your life. Sometimes, we tend to think we should be like others because we’re so easily influenced by them, whether it’s how they dress, how they act around friends or other people. It’s better to be yourself than to be someone you’re not. 

“Is schoolwork a struggle?” Yes and no.  Listen, nobody feels motivated to do work sometimes, but you’re getting to that stage in life where you will have to learn how to get work done on time. Don’t skip any of your classes. Go to your classes and get all the work you have done. It’s not embarrassing to ask for help, especially when you need it. If you don’t understand something, ask your teachers. They are always willing to help you out. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by schoolwork, but take it one day at a time. If you feel confused about something, email your teacher or ask in person too. Remember, it’s only the beginning of the year. A lot of teachers aren’t handing out homework yet. What I suggest is to get yourself into a routine with homework. Do one assignment at a time, and don’t rush through it because you want to be done. Take the time in any study halls you have to do work, and do some work at home too. Look over any mistakes and ask your teacher what you can correct if you’ve made a mistake. Be sure to always study for tests as well!

“What about my mental health?” Your mental health is more important than ever, especially as you get older. It’s very crucial to take care of yourself and your own mental health. If you feel lost, sad, depressed, or anxious, talking to a trusted adult, a friend, or even a therapist is always helpful. Holding in any feelings you have can take a really bad toll on your body. 

“What are ways to take care of my mental health?” As someone who struggles with anxiety, my advice is to go for walks! Walks really help clear your headspace and can help you with whatever you’re sad, anxious, or depressed about. Another thing you can also do is talk about it. Talk to a trusted adult or even friends. Reach out when you need help. Don’t put more pressure on yourself. Allow yourself to have a break. Do the things you love. Journaling is also another great way to help with your mental health. Write what you feel. Write why you’re feeling that way. 

“How can I know who I am as a person?” Everyone goes through this, and finding out who you are as a person can be hard. My suggestion is to try anything that seems interesting to you. You won’t know if you like something or not if you don’t try it. It goes the same way for friendships and relationships. You won’t know who is and isn’t meant to be in your life. You can meet new people in so many different ways, but trying new things and new hobbies can help you meet new people! The more new hobbies you try, the more you can make new friends.

“How do I deal with change with friends?” A change is never fun, but at the end of the day it’s an important part of your life. Growing as a person happens when you let yourself try new things and be put in certain situations. Sometimes, when you go through a change, mistakes can happen. Making mistakes is a part of life, and mistakes are what help us grow and do better. Mistakes help teach us lessons. You will change as a person. The friends you have too will begin to change. That doesn’t mean you won’t still have some of the same friends; you will, but you will also make some new friends.