Rooted in Confidence: How to Embrace Curly Hair

From pin-straight to tight coils, our hair is often how we define ourselves. Blonde, brunette, ginger, black, or dyed, all hair is beautiful. But like me and others with curly hair, specifically afro hair, we don't always love it. Sometimes it's a huge struggle. Not liking the color, the cut is one thing, but we often see people complaining about their hair texture. But it's 2025, and it's time to let your natural hair shine! Here's my personal story about my natural hair journey and also 5 tips to start yours!

My Story

Curly hair can be hard to embrace. From a young age, we are shown shampoo and other hair-related commercials that make curly or frizzy hair pin-straight. I remember this specific hair brush ad, which had girls with hair like mine as the “before” picture, saying “Look at this messy hair!” and then the “after” photo was the girl who I wished I was with straight, glossy hair with no frizz or hassle. I would dread waking up in the morning as a young child and needing my mom or dad to do my hair. I would only wear my hair up in a high bun outside the house, never down. I would constantly complain and cry to my mom about my afro, wishing I had hair like my all white classmates. We were taught (at least I was) that curly hair was ugly, but even worse was Black hair. The idea that tight coils and kinks aren't desirable has rattled in my head for years. I would often pray as a child to make me look like my friends with their perfect heads of hair that flowed in the wind, while I was stuck with a short curly afro that broke so many hair ties. I started to straighten my hair at eleven years old, keeping it in this state for the next two years. Looking back on this phase is so embarrassing, because it looked so bad. I remember going to the Macy's salon to get my hair cut, and this woman obviously had no idea how to work with Black hair, and I ended up looking like Lord Farquard from Shrek. Never go to a salon in a department store! Then, finally, at thirteen, I had enough. I was fed up with hating myself. I was fed up with the comparison that tore me down. I was fed up with being the butt of jokes and offensive commercials. I decided to wear my hair curly and down outside the house for the first time in years. It took a lot of strength, and I was very self-conscious at first, but then after a few months, I started getting compliments. People would come up to me and say, “I love your hair!” and I was absolutely shocked. I couldn't fathom how someone could look at my hair, let alone me, and like what they see. It's been four years of me wearing my hair natural, and I couldn't love it more. I love my hair! I love its color, I love its length, and most importantly, I love its texture. I'm proud of my hair, and you should be too! So here are 5 tips and tricks to start your natural hair journey:

1. Find your hair pattern

Did you know there's a more specific way to identify what type of hair you have? It's called the curl chart. This chart consists of nine types of patterns in three different groups: wavy, curly, and coily. Identifying what type of hair you have can tell you what kinds of products to use. I have 3c hair, which is the curliest of the curly section. It's also possible to be between two types of patterns, as everyone's hair is different. Take a curl and compare it to the curls on the chart to find out what type you have. 

2. Find the right products specifically for your hair's needs and pattern

Finding good hair products can be hard. But this method can make it easier. Write a list of what you want your hair to look like. That could be long, shiny, and hydrated, or voluminous and defined. Then, add to the list what hair struggles you have. This could be frizz, dandruff, breakage, etc. Finally, using your hair type/pattern, find products that claim to help achieve your ideal hair, and ones that prevent/stop your hair issues. Some products I recommend are the entire Pattern Beauty line by the iconic daughter of Diana Ross, Tracee Ellis Ross. I use the curl cream, the gel, and the mousse. I also recommend all of the Shea Beauty shampoos and conditioners, as they have many to choose from. For example, ones for dyed hair and even ones for moisture and dandruff. Also, please don't use just one product! I recommend using at least two, preferably three, as many products work best with others combined. And also, please don't use just water! This may work for straight-haired girlies, but for my curly girls, you'll look a mess! Put some product in! Now don't think a good product has to be expensive. You can get good quality curly hair products at drug stores like Walgreens and CVS for under 20 bucks. Finding the right hair products will change your life!

3. Find your hair porosity 

Hair porosity is the hair's ability to absorb and retain moisture, determined by the gaps or tightness of the hair's outer layer/cuticle. It is categorized as low, medium, or high porosity, influencing how well products, oils, and water penetrate and stay in the hair. Finding your hair porosity is important for examining how your hair reacts to moisture, and is especially important if you have issues with dry or oily hair. Here's how to find out using the “float test”: Prepare your hair by shampooing and rinsing it to remove any product buildup. Drop a single strand of clean, dry hair into a glass of room-temperature water. Observe its position after a few minutes. If it floats at the top, it means your hair has low porosity, with tightly packed cuticles that repel water. If it sinks slowly or stays in the middle, you have medium porosity hair, with cuticles that absorb and retain moisture normally. If your hair sinks to the bottom, it has a high porosity, with spaced-apart cuticles that easily absorb but also lose moisture quickly. If you have low porosity, make sure you really focus on hydration to prevent dryness. If you have high porosity, make sure you focus on retaining moisture for long periods of time. Many Black haircare brands like Camille Rose and Mielle Organics have specific products made for high and low porosity hair, so definitely check these out! 

4. Get a haircut specifically for your curly hair 

If you've been wearing your hair straightened or permed, it's 100% going to look different curly, and it probably is going to look very odd if you got it cut for your straight hair. You need to get a haircut specifically for your curly hair. It seems simple, as it is, but don't underestimate what a good haircut can do for curly hair! It can give you the desired volume and length that you want. If you have bangs and you straighten or perm your hair, it's definitely going to look wild curly, so a curly cut is needed. A good haircut can even change your face shape positively. Please make sure you go to a salon or stylist who works on curly hair! Don't go to a hair stylist who's never done curly hair before, and don't be a practice client. Also, don't do it yourself unless you've done it before and have some experience, because you might regret it if you do. Make that salon appointment and get that haircut! 

5. Don't care what others think about your hair

This is probably the most important and hardest tip out of the five. Don't care what others think about your hair. As long as you love it, that's all that matters. Some people are just plain rude or even jealous of those who don't fit a certain profile or conform to the norm. I've heard my share of nasty comments about my own hair, but they roll right off because I know the only thing that matters is if I like it. Some of these comments tend to be rooted in systematic anti-blackness and also conformity to an unattainable beauty standard that's often taught to some. For example, the common stereotype about Black women's and even Black men's hair not being “professional” or “conventionally attractive.” Many people with the 4c hair pattern can relate to the unnecessary, hurtful comments over hair, as this is the most discriminated against hair type. It's never just a joke or funny to make a mean comment about someone's hair, which is something they can't change and can cause a lifetime of insecurity. So don't judge others based on something as simple as hair, and if someone says something rude about your hair, brush it off and keep on serving! 

I hope my story and these tips inspire you to go on your own natural hair journey!