Blue Devil Bulletin: Advice for All

How do we set a goal to have better relationships with friends/partners?

The best way to set a goal for better relationships is to begin by reflecting on your current needs and boundaries. This way, you have a foundation for what you are looking for in this relationship, and you can explain that to the other person. Relationships where proper communication is present–where wants, concerns, opinions, etc. are spoken about–which helps to facilitate a healthy space for connection. It’s important to discuss what kind of goal you are trying to reach and how you can get there. A good way to stay connected with people you care about is scheduling plans in advance, such as agreeing to call a certain time, or setting a time to hang out, so that you always have something to look forward to. Both people need to reciprocate the same energy in a connection to make it thrive.

• Leocadia ☆

How do you make a good resolution?

To make a good resolution, you must first know exactly what you want to achieve. Think about what it is specifically that you want to work on in the new year, why you want to have this as your resolution, and if it’ll be an attainable and realistic change for you to stick to. For example, if you decide you want to start reading one book a month, think about why this is and how you’ll do it. Maybe you want to spend more time off your phone and reconnect with an old hobby. Make sure the resolution is actually possible for you, and think about specifically how you’ll start and stick with it. Reading a book a month is something anybody can say they’ll do. Going to the library and checking out a book on the first of every month, dedicating time every week to reading your book, and making reminders to read your book are things that will help you make a specific resolution that will be easier to stick with.

• Aislyn シ

How does one stay motivated to stick to resolutions?

Sticking to resolutions can be a tricky thing for many people, especially because they are often made at the beginning of the year, and people have changed in many ways by the end of the year. The best way to do this is by setting an attainable goal that you know is something that is realistic for you to accomplish by the end of the year. For example, let’s say you want to improve your running skills and you can currently run two laps around the track–½ of a mile–and want to grow your endurance.  If you aim to run 10 miles in a row within two months, that would not be considered a realistic goal. Is it possible? Yes, it 100% is. But starting with a smaller goal, such as 3 miles, would be much more motivating, as it’s a distance that is realistically attainable when training regularly. Setting a goal that’s too large may cause you to become stressed or unmotivated when you are not achieving it realistically. It’s also important to remember to make specific goals, such as specifying a period of time in which that goal will be completed, and the specific steps that you will take to get to that point.

• Leocadia ☆

How often do people actually stick to their goals?

To be completely honest, not very often. Most people give up their resolutions by the fourth month, but quitting within the first two months is common. Around 88% of people don’t make it past the second week. Of that 88%, about 36% of people make it past the first month, and of that 36%, about 80% have failed by the end of February. The reason behind this common theme of failure is vagueness. Setting a goal like “lose weight” or “spend less money” is asking for failure, as they aren’t specific goals. Deciding to make a big change in your life and not figuring out what you’re going to do to make that change is a recipe for disaster. 

• Aislyn シ

What is the best way to stick to a goal/stay motivated when getting swamped with other aspects of life, both in and out of school?

The best way to stay motivated to stick to a goal in the midst of a busy life is to carve out time and actively focus on your goal. Of course, you’ve read the other sections of this month’s column, so you know how to set a good goal. After you’ve set this good goal, make time for it, and be realistic. If you plan to go to the gym, think to yourself when you will actually want to do that. If you hate waking up early, don’t try to go before school; you’re much less likely to stick to a goal if you have to climb the mountain of waking up early to achieve it. Staying motivated while keeping busy is a bit harder. Having a reason, checkpoints/smaller goals, and even an end goal can help you continue to want to achieve your goal. Think about why it is you made this resolution in the first place, and how far you’ve come since you made it. Even something as small as setting encouraging reminders in your phone can help keep your motivation up.

• Aislyn シ