Autonomy Support Principles

There are many different kinds of teaching and coaching models, but most successful ones are created and sustained by building relationships based on positive regard and rapport. Establishing a strong working alliance requires clear and explicit communication early and often that describes the perspectives, roles, responsibilities, expectations, and limitations of each partner in the relationship.

Educators may refer to the following principles during classroom interactions, brief informal conversations, and formal coaching engagements with students.

Empathy

Empathy refers to the ability to accurately perceive another person’s feelings and reasoning, and to communicate this perception (Diguiseppe, Doyle, Dryden, & Backx, 2014, p. 82). It can be demonstrated by verbally repeating, summarizing, paraphrasing, or even thoughtfully speculating on another person’s statements and by posing questions to help the other person clarify their own values, interests, and goals. This involves both “listening to” a student’s verbal and non-verbal communication patterns and “listening for” what is really important to them (i.e., trying to identify and understand their experiences and their underlying values, goals, dreams, and purpose) (Allen, 2016, p. 89).

Demonstrating empathy is foundational for building trusting relationships. Receiving empathy not only makes individuals feel understood and more connected to others, it also supports introspection, allowing them to more easily access and understand their own inner states.

Respect

Respect, or unconditional positive regard, reflects a genuine acceptance of others’ worth, value, or dignity, regardless of their behavior (Diguiseppe, Doyle, Dryden, & Backx, 2014, p. 83). In other words, we can distinguish between the person and their beliefs, behaviors, and performance.

Respecting students means neither rejecting nor overprotecting them. This includes the right of young people to make their own decisions, even if they appear in error to adults, because learning and growth can also occur from failure (Diguiseppe, Doyle, Dryden, & Backx, 2014, p. 83). When an educator models unconditional positive regard (also called Unconditional Other Acceptance), they support students in developing Unconditional Self Acceptance. When students know they will be supported and cared for regardless of how well they perform on a particular test or how well-behaved they are on a particular day, they may be less likely to experience negative outcomes like feelings of rejection, unstable self-esteem, and behavioral disruptions. 

For instance, an educator might tell a student “A test is not an indication of your value as a person. It’s just one way to measure how much you have learned up to this point. So, do your best, but if you don’t get the score you’d like, it’s just a sign to study more or study differently, and I’m here to help you figure out how to do that.”

This does not mean educators aren’t communicating high-expectations for students. Rather, establishing an unconditionally safe and supportive environment, which includes respect for diverse personal, family, and cultural values, can actually increase students’ sense of competence and self-efficacy because they feel trusted to make their own choices, take responsibility, and learn from their mistakes.

Authenticity and Intrinsic Value Demonstrations

When young people observe adults, such as parents and teachers, acting congruently with their stated values, this helps them develop their own inner compass and capacity to act with integrity (Ryan & Deci, 2018, p. 389). In other words, adults must “walk the talk” and not just expect students to “do as I say, not as I do.”

If an educator says they believe all students are equally valued and capable of doing well, they will support and respect every single student. It’s also important to acknowledge having acted incongruently with your values, because no one is perfect. It’s fine to acknowledge mistakes, talk about why you think they happened, and how you will be more alert to avoid them next time.

Self-disclosure of relevant personal life experiences by educators are generally allowed, but it should be used sparingly with permission from the student and only when a clear and specific rationale exists (i.e., educators should always consider whether the self-disclosure is about helping a student learn or about making the educator feel good). However, it is generally more helpful for a student to focus on their own experiences in the classroom or during a personalized coaching engagement. Additionally, educators should always follow the guidelines and procedures for appropriate self-disclosure established by their educational institution. 

Adaptability

It can be beneficial for educators to behave as authentic chameleons, able to adapt their relational style to their students' needs and be responsive to a student’s particular stage of change and interpersonal preferences (O’Broin & Palmer, 2012, pp. 56-57).

Students bring their own unique histories, values, and preferences to educational settings. Adaptability helps lay the foundation for a positive working alliance, or collaborative relationship, between the student and educator. Remember, teaching and coaching involve conversation, and good conversation requires empathy, respect, responsiveness, and balance. It is not about controlling the conversation or imparting wisdom to students. It is about empowering students in self-discovery and purposeful action. Educators can be more adaptive by explicitly asking students what would be helpful for them in the classroom and during coaching sessions (and why).

Ethics

Managing boundaries in teaching and coaching relationships can present complex ethical issues. Educators should always refer to established guidelines and procedures at their respective educational institutions and consult relevant school personnel with supervisory responsibilities as needed. However, the limitations of ethical codes also call for educators to build “ethical maturity” by gaining awareness of their own principles and values, engaging with ethical dilemmas, making courageous ethical choices, and reflecting on those choices (Myers & Bachkirova, 2021, pp. 145-146).

Because some individuals, especially young people, may have difficulty understanding boundaries within classroom (and especially coaching) contexts (e.g., what is considered acceptable behavior or what kinds of disclosures fall outside the limits of confidentiality), it is the educator’s responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries while guiding students throughout the process (Sleeper-Triplett, 2010). Of particular importance to working with students in school settings are the issues of confidentiality and mental health. 

• Confidentiality: Confidentiality is meant to protect the privacy of students and to build trust and rapport. Confidentiality is likely to be a major concern for students, who may fear their disclosures to staff will be shared with others or negatively impact their educational services. At the beginning of every school year (or coaching engagement), educators should thoroughly explain the meaning and limits of confidentiality to students, including educators’ ethical and legal obligations to report cases of abuse or likely future harm.

• Mental Health Referral: Mental, emotional, and behavior disorders, including behavior or conduct problems, anxiety, and depression, are common among adolescents. Educators should never attempt to diagnose or treat students (unless they are also a qualified and licensed professional permitted to do so). These conditions do not necessarily preclude participation in class or personalized coaching unless the student is experiencing significant impairments in their ability to self-reflect and self-regulate. If an educator suspects a student would benefit from additional support from another professional (e.g., therapist or counselor), it is appropriate to inform the student and make a mental health referral.