O THAT TODAY YOU WOULD LISTEN TO HIS VOICE HARDEN NOT YOUR HEART

What is our usual reaction when someone commits a sin or offense against us? Do we confront the individual head-on or tell others about it first? What are the implications of our reaction? Apparently, these are questions whose answers can be very complex in the context of our time and depending on the nature of the sin or offense one commits against us. The question seems easy to deal with when this offender or sinner is perceived as a “brother” or “sister”. In other words, a member of the community of faith. Jesus is actually interested in preserving the integrity of members of his body, the Church, an integrity predicated on love, forgiveness, and repentance. He teaches us how to live in love as brothers and sisters. Quarrels, disagreements, and all kinds of offense or sin are bound to occur among us but how we react to conflictual circumstances says a lot about us and defines in part who we are.

The Lord wants us to enjoy our relationships and interactions as members of a faith community. Sometimes we see ourselves either offending others unknowingly or intentionally or even getting offended ourselves. Jesus does not want us to bear grudges against our brethren. Remember his words in Matthew, “If you are bringing your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar and go first and be reconciled with your brother before coming back to offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).

Jesus gives us tips on how to continue to live in love with our brothers and sisters in our communities. The first thing to do when you feel offended is to go directly to your offender and make the offense or sin known to him or her. This is an opportunity to have a conversation and be enlightened about the matter. The awareness would ordinarily elicit remorse where one realizes one’s offense and brings about apology and repentance. It also preserves the integrity of the offender and fosters mutual love and respect for one another. Clearly, this sounds idealistic and primitive, but it is also feasible and experiential among people in ordinary scenarios today. The second step is reaching out to one or two persons when the first step fails. This extension is indicative of a heart that genuinely seeks reconciliation. It requires patience and the determination to be reconciled. When the offender does not listen to these others, then his or her sin is made public as a final option. Experience shows that conflicts escalate because of non-compliance with Jesus' tips. In a bid to protect one’s ego, people may lie and continue to sin or offend their brothers and sisters, bringing the community to disrepute among non-believers. This is wrong. How have we as individuals or groups contributed to the disgrace of our Christian communities by not listening to Jesus? How many times have we jumped to step two without taking advantage of step one? Or even moved from step one to three just to score a self-serving point.

The benefit of this procedure is that we prevent or eliminate gossip. Some people enjoy talking about others, especially the wrongs of anyone else but themselves. We can always help such people overcome this behavior by engaging directly with our offenders. Again, we would be protecting the personal integrity of individuals when we follow the Lord’s stipulation. Skipping step one can damage an individual’s reputation. Remember the golden rule: Do to others what you would want them to do to you.

It is important to be mindful of the effort we should make to win back an erring brother or sister. All that Jesus wants and hopes for is a loving relationship among us. Even as he suggests “treating one like a gentile or tax collector” as the final step or option, we are to remember how he treated those himself. We are encouraged to take adequate care to ensure that excommunication or any punitive measure for an offender in the Christian community should be done in the hope that it serves both the good of the community and of the individual. Love and compassion guided Jesus’ relationship with tax collectors and gentiles. Ultimately, our relationship with our brethren must be guided by love because they share with us the image and likeness of God. They need our compassion because they are a work in progress and have the capacity (God’s grace) to become better individuals.

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