BASIC CATECHESIS ON FAMILY AND MARRIAGE

We are still within the octave of Christmas, relishing the solemn feast of the birth of Christ the Lord who is the world's Light.  We now see everything in the light of the Son of God because of Christmas. Let us cast this light on our understanding of a family as we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family today. This is important given some of the challenges distressing our basic understanding of the meaning of family in our time. The first reading and the Gospel give us the model of the essential component of a family: The Father and Mother represented by Abraham and Sarah on the one hand and more fittingly Mary and Joseph on the other. Children are the fruits of a marriage between a man and a woman. It was true in Abraham and Sarah’s case but different in Mary and Joseph’s. Of all human beings, only Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit. What is basic and the same in both families is the tripod of a father, mother, and child/children.

What are nations, states, counties, and communities if not an aggregate of families? Our basic sociology teaches us that the family is the basic unit of any society. In some cultures and civilizations, it is easy to trace societies to their family roots. It is a root or unit of immeasurable value and needs great care and protection if societies must not cease to exist. God in creating human beings brought the family into being and exercises his authority over it. In Adam and Eve, the fundamental constitution of a family was firmly established by God. The Genesis account “God created man in his image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27) gives credence to the basic understanding of family. As families make community and society, so does marriage make a family. Our understanding of family begins, therefore, with our understanding of marriage. 

Hence marriage is a vocation from God. Though revealed as Father, and traditionally depicted as the Father, God is also a “Mother” in the ultimate sense of being generative of all creatures. God creates man and woman and gives them a vocation to be a father and a mother, and caretakers of other creatures. The church teaches that “by its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring, and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory” (Catechism of the Church 1652). Fathers and mothers ought to be grateful for the gifts of fatherhood and motherhood God has given them despite themselves. In Christ, God’s plan for marriage was made more manifest, especially regarding its permanence and stability, and our understanding of its sacramentality became clearer. For us, then, marriage is a sacrament. This understanding of marriage is espoused by the church when she teaches that “the matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament” (Catechism of the Church 1601). In this comprehensive definition, the nature, sacredness, goal, and sacramentality of marriage are highlighted.  

More so, the family exists primarily for God. He is the author of family life. It is therefore necessary that parents who take this marital vocation from God should make frequent recourse to him for his help, grace, blessing, and direction. They have the fundamental duty to lead their children to God. The family, among other things, should be a home of prayer. Christian parents are the first teachers, prophets, kings, and priests to their children. The family is a domestic church where the baptized parents exercise their priestly ministry through daily prayers with their children.  It is always a joy to know that a mother or father spends time teaching their child how to pray. In the Gospel, Mary and Joseph are shining examples of parents aware of their duty to God. They took their religious faith and obligations seriously by taking the child Jesus to the temple for purification. That is an example of a responsible faith.  

In family life, man and woman imitate God in his creative work by becoming co-creators through the procreation of children. They imitate God’s love through their mutual love for themselves and are willing to make sacrifices for each other as a concrete sign of their love. Sometimes, it could be a tough love for the beloved despite some disappointments. St. Paul’s advice ought to be kept always in mind, “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her” (Ephesians 5:25-26). The same love is expected of wives for their husbands, and both for their children. Christ’s love for us is the standard for marital love. The family should be a communion of mutual love, trust, and respect, where children learn to love, obey, and honor their parents. Again, in marriage, Husbands and wives imitate the unity of the Trinity. God who is One in Three Persons is reflected in a family where husband and wife share their lives and consider themselves as belonging to one another such that nothing is hidden from anybody and there is a shared unity of body, mind, and spirit despite sometimes their differences in certain roles. Nevertheless, to the extent the family is united, they strive to imitate the Triune God. As we pray for all families today, may “Nazareth teach us what family life is, its communion of love, its austere and simple beauty, and its sacred and inviolable character. Let us learn from Nazareth that the formation received at home is gentle and irreplaceable” (Pope Paul VI). To better appreciate marriage and family life, we ought to learn to see in God’s seeing, through Christ the light of the world.

Fr. Emmanuel Madu.

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