Casey's Story ~ Our Story

Casey was a scheduled c-section, and we were in love with the September 1st due date.  Casey’s big sister Jordan was going to turn 7 only two days later on the 3rd, followed by my birthday one week later.  We were so excited to meet the little baby we had waited so long for, and Jordan was beyond excited to be the big sister she was destined to be. She ended up being a tiny peanut, only 5 pounds, thirteen ounces! I didn’t actually know I could have such a tiny baby; her big sister was 8 pounds!! She was small, but perfect- an absolute carbon copy of her big sister.  Our family was complete.

Life with Casey and Jordan was blissful; tiring and hectic at times, but blissful. I had taken leave from my job as a 4th grade teacher to stay at home with my new baby girl, and planned to do so for her first 3 years.  She was not quite the sleeper or eater her sister had been, but she was happy and healthy. She developed this personality all her own, which we were in awe of.  With each new milestone, she grew into this little person, who could melt your heart in two seconds flat.  She was tiny, with a huge personality.  It was clear when she became her Daddy’s little peanut, that this nickname would stick around.  

Casey had this amazing voice that everyone would comment on.  It was deep and small all at the same time. When she would look someone straight in the eye, and tell them, “no,no,no” in the way only she could, it was magic.  Obviously, NO, was her favorite word for quite some time, but she managed to make it sound cute, not frustrating.  I will never forget the day that “mamma” turned to “mommy,” it melted my heart.  She eventually moved on from the no’s to the oh so famous uh-ohs. There were times I truly believed she knew every word in existence! Casey had her own language, and because I was her mommy, I understood every word.  BEBE meant so many things; it was baby, grape, music, and her babysitter, Lupe. Somehow, I could tell them all apart and speak Casey fluently.

There were so many things that brought her joy; and in turn, that brought joy to us.  She loved her morning Sesame Street with her milk, Daddy, and DeDe (She called her big sister DeDe).  She was a slide daredevil, and never met one she turned down.  She loved to play in cardboard boxes with her sister, or slither through tunnels with her. She loved taking clothes in and out of the washing machine and would often ask me to do laundry! She had a sense of humor I had never seen in such a young person. She loved to play with her dollhouse (she used to slide the people down and off the roof). She loved pretend anything and everything- doctor, kitchen, or dress up.  Oftentimes I couldn’t get her to wear a hat outside, but inside for dress-up, I couldn’t get them off of her. Casey loved music- all kinds.  We went to different classes, but Music Together was her favorite, and mine.  At home she would dance and sing and we would play instruments together.  At bedtime, I would sing her all the lullabies from music class with her head on my chest and her little legs wrapped around my waist until she allowed me to put her down in her crib for sleep. (“Zu La Lee Case”) Music class was always a special time for us. She loved her cat Buffy, (cat was her first word), “dat, dat, dat” she would say over and over.  While petting her she would always then say, “niiiiice.” Casey was incredibly gentle with animals.  She was gentle with everyone. 

Casey did not love to eat, yet had her favorites.  Huge rice cakes from Fairway that were always coveted by the other kids, baby mum mums and yogurt melts.  Pickles and tomatoes like her sister, cream cheese, hold the bagel, and as a true Brooklynite, she loved her Pino’s Pizza. Yogurt was her favorite food.  Some days it was all she would eat. She would even steal my Greek yogurt after she had finished her yo-baby. 

She loved playing with her friends- Maddie, Zadia, and Iris.  I had imagined them all as 8 year olds, sharing secrets and laughter together. At times it is the most difficult thing in the world to see these girls without my Casey, but at other times, I crave them as a connection to her.  

Casey loved her family, and there were many of them to love.  There was Amma and Poppi, Grandpa and Grandma Marlene, Grandma Gene, Auntie, Aunt Leslie and Kristi, Uncle Andy, Chris, George, and Mario.  There were great Aunts and Uncles, Great Grandparents, and doting cousins. One of Casey’s favorite things to do, whether it be on my I-phone, or an album, was to look at pictures of everyone and name them.  Not one of these people lived more than an hour away from us, and she saw them often.  Casey had a name for each one.  She was loved intensely by this big family, and I know how much she loved them back.

Most of all, Casey loved her big sister Jordan, and Jordan loved Casey unconditionally.  Casey would follow Jordan around the house; she wouldn’t even go up to bed unless Jordan got into her spot by the window, where she could give her a goodnight kiss.  Jordan, as the much older big sister, tried to teach Casey everything she knew. From ballet moves to the word “arm-pit,” Jordan was Casey’s best teacher. Jordan was never jealous of Casey, not even for a day, and Casey idolized her big sister. They were so in love with each other; it breaks my heart.

On the morning of Friday, June 3rd 2011, Casey woke up with a slight fever. She had not slept well the night before, and was a bit out of sorts.  We packed up that morning to head out to Family Friday in Jordan’s classroom.  She was always so excited to run around the classroom and cause havoc.  That morning, she slept on my chest in the ergo, right through the commotion of the classroom, and woke only as we were leaving the school. As the day wore on, she seemed to be feeling a bit better. She ate a bit of lunch and we even had a visit from Casey’s Grandpa, where they played and built block towers together.  As she went down for her afternoon nap, she sat in her crib, cuddled her elephant, looked at me and said, “night night,” and put her head down to sleep. “Love you, sweet dreams,” I replied as always. Casey never woke up from that nap. We don’t know how or why she died. The pain of losing her has been unimaginable, and the fear of not knowing how and why is paralyzing. The official cause of death is ruled to be natural and unexplained; SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Children). Soon after Casey’s death we became involved with the SUDC foundation. We were not alone. There were other families, too many families that had our same story. The Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood foundation has been SUDC has been an invaluable resource to our family in terms of emotional, informational and medical support, and as a continuous guide through this horrific experience.

We miss Casey everyday, love her every day, and we will for the rest of our lives.