Embedded Files
11/11/22
The holidays can be a time of great joy, and they can also be a very difficult time for many. Families have experienced many hardships over the past few years. If you are wondering about how to help your child cope, Camber Children’s Mental Health has some helpful suggestions.
Hello Trailwood Families,
Wow! It’s summer time! I hope you all have a peaceful time of connection with your families. I wanted to send out a few resources, to make sure that you all had access for the summer:
Routines
Summertime looks different for us all, but if there is some sort of regular routine that you can keep up, this can be helpful to children. This is particularly important if your child is diagnosed with ADHD. You can find more tips for summer success for kiddos with ADHD on the Child Mind Institute website. If you are looking for some more intensive supports, Johnson County Mental Health Center is doing a “Parent Project Junior” this summer, starting June 1. You can find more information here.
Friends and Siblings
Summer is a great time to practice our social skills, with friends and siblings! Big Life Journal gives some tips for building sibling connections during the summer, and handling tough friendship issues as they arise.
Resources Over the Summer
Summer can be a tough time to keep kids fed, get bills paid, etc. SMSD is offering “Summer Lunch Bunch” starting June 6, where children can come eat at an SMSD school during the week and obtain lunches for the weekends on Fridays. If your family is interested, you can find locations and more information on the SMSD website. If you need information about other resources or support, please take a look at my website, where there are many resources listed.
We are so looking forward to seeing your children back at Trailwood in the fall! I feel so honored to be a part of this community.
5/24/21
Thursday, May 20 was the first Mental Health Action Day (taking place during May, Mental Health Awareness Month). As we lead up to summer break, it is a great time to be thinking of how to practice self-care for parents, and maybe even considering the creation of a family self-care plan this summer. We have been through a school year unlike any other. It has likely taken a great deal of energy, and caring for ourselves may have been something sacrificed along the way. Let’s remind ourselves that it is okay if it has been difficult for us. I’m not sure how any parent isn’t exhausted at this point! Our kids have been through so much as well. As we begin exiting “survival” mode, we may find ourselves face-to-face with all that we have experienced during this past year, and begin realizing our mental and physical exhaustion. Summer provides us with an opportunity to have conversations with our children about how they are doing. It also hopefully provides some more space and time to consider how we can take care of ourselves and our families, and start habits that we can carry with us into next school year.
I will look forward to seeing you all next school year, when I will get to be at Trailwood full-time! During the summer months, you can still access resources through my website. Free breakfast and lunch for all children ages 1-18 will be available through the school district for pick up on Mondays and Thursdays, starting on June 3. Taking advantage of resources like this that can take one thing off our list this summer can be so helpful! If you become worried about your child’s mental health or well-being this summer, your pediatrician can be a great resource to start with. If you are worried about the safety of your child or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
5/17/21
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and last week we focused on just how important self-care is for parents and caregivers. When we practice self-care, it is easier to be available for our children, paying attention to their cues and requests for connection. Similarly, when we are aware of our emotions and are able to name them and how we are coping with them, we are modeling this for our children. Learning how to name our emotions and deal with them is a big skill! We can help our children start to learn to do this by discussing our feelings, noticing how characters in books and movies might be feeling, and verbalizing the things we do for ourselves to cope with emotions (“I am starting to get frustrated that what I need won’t load on the computer! I am going to take a break so I can keep working on this calmly.”). The Child Mind Institute has additional suggestions about how to help support our children’s mental health and well-being.
If you would like to speak further about this, or any other needs, my contact information and community resources are available on my website: https://sites.google.com/smsd.org/mrs-sandefur-social-worker/home. If you think your child has become overwhelmed by the current situation and needs additional help to cope, I am happy to talk about resources available to support you. If you are worried about the safety of your child or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
5/10/21
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. As we wind down the current school year, it can be a time for us to check in with ourselves and our families on how we are doing, and what we need. We have made it through a full school year during a pandemic! Students, staff and families have all put in so much effort. As we have tried to make it through this year, it has been easy to focus on tasks we need to complete, and stop paying attention to ourselves and our needs. Child Mind Institute has some great ideas for self-care for parents. This is one of my favorite quotes: “Perfectionism and parenting (and, you know, just being a person) don’t mix. Avoid burnout by setting realistic expectations and giving yourself grace if you can’t meet them.” This year, we may have expected ourselves to be at our full capacity, with things rolling along “like normal,” and when that didn’t happen, been angry or frustrated at ourselves. The same grace we try to give our children, we can also apply to ourselves, and remind ourselves—we just made it through a year that has never happened before.
If you would like to speak further about this, or any other needs, my contact information and community resources are available on my website: https://sites.google.com/smsd.org/mrs-sandefur-social-worker/home. If you have become overwhelmed by the current situation or need additional help to cope, I am happy to talk about resources available to support you. If you are worried about the safety of yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
5/3/21
One program that our school district offers to assist families who may be struggling with housing needs is called the McKinney-Vento program. This program can provide services to a student or family that:
Is lacking a regular, fixed, and adequate nighttime residence (substandard housing)
Is sharing housing due to economic struggles
Is living in a shelter, hotel, or motel
Is living in a public place not designed for sleeping (cars, parks)
Is an unaccompanied youth. This includes all youth who are not in the physical custody of a parent or court appointed guardian
Is a child or youth abandoned in a hospital
Is a migrant child who qualifies under any of the above
If you think you may be eligible, you can contact the McKinney-Vento liaison, David Aramovich, at 913-993-2865. Additionally, through hard work that David Aramovich and others have done to connect with community resources and agencies, you can connect through school social work services to many resources that your family may need. If your family needs help to find a community resource to meet your needs, please contact me to discuss resources and options for support.
4/19/21
This year has been incredibly challenging on students and families. Wellness has never been more important. On April 29 from 5pm to 7pm, the Shawnee Mission School District would like to invite you to join a virtual presentation featuring several District and community mental health professionals. A variety of 30 minute virtual sessions will be available on topics ranging from Suicide Awareness and Prevention to Mindfulness and Anxiety Reduction. More session information to come prior to the event. For now, please save the date and register here: http://bit.ly/SMSDwellness
4/12/21
Some resources that are available to your family currently include a program called Back Snacks. This is a program that families can apply for in which they are able to obtain some extra meal and snack food for students to have over the weekend, when school meals are not available. All you have to do to apply for this program is to email me at brennasandefur@smsd.org or call me at 913-993-5668. There are no forms for you to complete, and your participation is confidential. School breakfast and lunch continue to be free for all students through the end of the school year. If your student comes to school, you can pick up additional meals for your students for the weekend on the last school day of the week, and if your student is remote, you can pick up meals for all seven days. More information about school meals is available on the school district website.
If your family needs assistance with utilities or housing costs, there are many funds currently available to assist. Companies like Evergy have new financial assistance programs, and help to pay rent and other housing costs is available through programs such as Kansas Emergency Rental Assistance. Please contact me if you need assistance finding a program to help your family.
3/29/21
Some students, co-workers and friends have mentioned this week struggling with what has happened recently in Colorado and Georgia. When we see violence and people getting hurt, it can be difficult not to worry about our own safety. If you as a parent find yourself struggling with increased worry after these incidents, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network offers some tips and strategies for coping. If you find your child is having increased fears for their safety, is talking a lot about an incident, or seems to have increased worry for themselves or family members, this handout on Psychological First Aid was created for parents and caregivers to have some ideas for how to help their children process their thoughts and emotions and increase their feelings of safety. If you would like to talk more about strategies and support for helping yourself or your child cope, please feel free to contact me.
3/22/21
Last week I was introduced to an organization called START, Stand Together And Rethink Technology. It provides resources for parents and community leaders on helping children handle the technology in their lives. There is information about the impact of screen use on kids and ways that you can help your children navigate technology in healthy ways. There are some resources that the group recommends particularly for parents of elementary-aged children. Technology is an important part of our lives, especially during a pandemic that has led to so many online activities. Thinking about how to help our children engage with technology in healthy ways is extremely important to the mental health and safety of our families.
3/15/21
If your family needs insurance but this is not available through a workplace or the insurance offered through your workplace is too expensive, the Health Insurance Marketplace has been re-opened, and you can apply for insurance on healthcare.gov until May 15, 2021. If options through the Health Insurance Marketplace don’t work for your family, you can also see if your family or your children are eligible for KanCare. There are also clinics available that serve people who are uninsured, and are able to provide sliding scale fees based on income. If you would like to further discuss resources to support your family’s health, please contact me.
3/8/21
A large part of what I discuss in the newsletter is about social-emotional learning, which is a very important part of my job as a school social worker. I can also help with other needs, such as referrals to community resources. This could be for mental health and/or support for parents. I also help with community resources. If your family needs help in connecting to affordable medical services, help paying for internet, housing, or utilities, food or clothing resources, or you have other needs, please contact me. If your family is in an unstable housing situation, you may want to see if your family is eligible for the McKinney-Vento program, which can provide support for your student’s needs. You can read more about community events and resources on my website, and I would love to talk with you about resources you can connect with if this is a need your family has.
3/1/21
As we wrap up February, I have been talking a lot with students about our brains, and how amazing they are. Helping our children understand the brain can be very beneficial in developing a growth mindset. Sharing with students the science of how the brain makes connections and changes based on what we do and practice can be helpful to encouraging students to keep working when things get hard. A colleague of mine shared with me this great video from Khan Academy that walks through the ways that our brain can change and grow from making mistakes and trying again. The book Your Fantastic, Elastic Brain also is really helpful, particularly for students under 10 years old, for walking through the different parts of the brain and the ways that practicing and persevering when things are new or difficult can help us grow. For more information on ways that growth mindset can impact students, you can read this post on mindsetkit.org.
2/22/21
This month, I’ve been thinking a lot about growth mindset. The past couple of weeks, I’ve written about “process praise” and considering how we look at mistakes. Another way that we can support our children in developing a growth mindset is to use “growth mindset language.” Using “process praise” is a big part of this—praising the hard work we see our children doing, rather than the end result. Another example of growth mindset language that was given to me revolves around the commonly used phrase, “Practice makes perfect.” In a growth mindset frame, practice would make progress. If we practice a song on the piano, we might not play it perfectly, but we might notice ourselves improving in memorizing the notes or strengthening our ability to handle difficult chords. An expectation of perfection can be a hindrance to growth. Another example of using growth mindset language might be, “I can’t do that yet.” Without that added “yet,” “I can’t do it” is a stopping point. By adding in a “yet,” this phrase becomes a starting point for learning something new. Additional ideas for ways to help build in language fostering a growth mindset can be found at this blog post on Education.com.
2/15/21
Last week, I shared a bit about growth mindset. Something very helpful to developing this mindset is to think of mistakes as opportunities, and realize that when we are doing something new, we are challenging ourselves. If we’re doing something we make mistakes at, it means that we are giving ourselves the opportunity to learn. We can model this as adults by talking about our own mistakes or “failures,” and how they are helping us grow or showing that we are trying something new. We can let our children know about things that we found difficult, and how we overcame obstacles. We can also teach this in the way that we respond to mistakes our children make. If a child has had a difficult time with a math assignment, we can point out how much the child is challenging themselves by working on the new concept. If they fall off their bike, we can point out how much their brain is working to do a new thing, and how good that is for our brains. When we are unafraid to make mistakes, we are more willing to try new things and challenge ourselves, and we are more willing to keep going “when the going gets tough.” You can learn more about growth mindset at this website.
2/8/21
In February when the winter is feeling long and testing season arrives at school again, it can be a good time to remind ourselves of how we can focus on our mindset to help build resilience and perseverance. Growth mindset, according to The Growth Mindset Coach, is “the belief that with practice, perseverance, and effort, people have limitless potential to learn and grow…People operating in the growth mindset…[are] unconcerned with making mistakes or being embarrassed, focusing instead on the process of growth.” Moving ourselves into a mindset in which mistakes are opportunities helps us to keep going when something gets difficult, rather than giving up out of a belief that we are incapable.
One thing that we can do as parents to help our children adopt a growth mindset is to praise process, rather than results. “You worked so hard on that,” rather than “You are so smart!” helps a child know that putting in effort is expected and important, and that we are not divided into categories of “smart” or “not smart”—even if we are not initially gifted at something, we can always grow and learn. When we look at an athlete and say, “What a natural talent!,” we leaving out all of the practice that people do, for hours every day over a period of months and years, to win an Olympic Medal (or go to the SUPER BOWL! Go Chiefs!). You can learn more about growth mindset at this website, and look at “process praise” here.
2/1/21
I hope your families enjoyed Kindness Week and had some good conversations about the importance of being kind towards others. If you would like to continue your family conversations, a group called Random Acts of Kindness puts out a book list that you could utilize to read from at home and discuss with your children. As parents, we are the main people that our children learn from and emulate in life (an intimidating and inspiring thought!). If you are interested in cultivating kindness yourself, the group also produces a calendar for each month of the year with kindness activities that adults can participate in each day. As parents in a pandemic, it is also vitally important to be kind to ourselves. Whether it is making sure we get enough sleep or finding a way to take a walk or talk to a friend, remember that to “fill up someone’s bucket,” you must first have some water in your bucket to pour out. As we get ready to head in to the second month of our New Year, check in and make sure that you are taking care of yourselves!
1/25/21
This week, schools across Shawnee Mission School District will be celebrating Kindness Week! Students may be focusing on kind acts and discussing the effects of being kind. Your family can participate in the Great Kindness Challenge together by doing kind acts listed on the organization’s checklist. You can also take part in practices like sending kind wishes or doing the “We Wish You Well” practice from Conscious Discipline. Kind acts are beneficial not only to others, but to ourselves. Kindness builds the skills of empathy and compassion, helping us feel connected to those around us. Acts of kindness have been shown to have an impact on our brain, creating a positive impact on mood and increasing a sense of connection. The more we practice acts of kindness for others, and acknowledge our gratitude for acts of kindness towards us, the stronger our brain gets in practicing these skills that help us to feel positive and connected with others, and the easier it becomes to access those skills and emotions.
1/18/21
If your family is without dental or medical coverage, and needs connection for these services, there are programs available. You can find information about the Delta Dental Community Benefits program for dental coverage on my community events and resources page. Health Partnership Clinic (HPC) has a connection with the Shawnee Mission School District to provide medical, dental and behavioral health services and connections for students. Other options are available in our area as well. To learn more, or to connect with these services or other community resources, please feel free to contact me or look at resources here on my website or the parent resource page created by district social workers.
1/11/21
As we head into this new year, I want to remind families that if you need connection to community resources, or would like to be added to the waitlist for BackSnacks, please feel free to contact me. There are additional phone numbers and resources listed here on my website.
School meals are currently free for all students, and meals for the weekend or for students learning remotely are available for pick-up on Friday mornings at school from 6:30-7:45 am. Additionally, if you think your family may qualify, it may also benefit your family to apply for free and reduced status with the school district, as this can be used for other applications as proof of income. It is also helpful to the district in obtaining appropriate funding from the state to ensure equitable education for students. Here is additional information from the school district: “All families that have not already applied for free or reduced meals this year are encouraged to apply if they feel they may qualify. There is a possibility that additional Pandemic Electronic Benefit Transfer ( P-EBT) funding may be available later this school year for those who have been approved for free or reduced meals. Click here for information and applications. If you have questions please call the Food Service Office at 913-993-9710.”
In the spring, families that had free and reduced lunch status qualified for EBT benefits to use at the grocery store in order to purchase groceries—this is what the district is referring to in their communication. If a family already received food stamps/SNAP benefits, the amount was added to their card, and if not, a card was sent out to families to utilize.
12/14/20
As we head into winter break, I was reminded of this graphic above that was shared with me back in the spring, when we had all headed home due to the pandemic. Differentiating between what we can control and what we cannot control, and focusing on what we can control, can be helpful at all times, but particularly when so much is different and changing. Focusing on and worrying about things that we have no control over can greatly increase our distress. If we focus on actions that we can take (such as doing a kind act for others, arranging with your family to have a walk alone when we need it, or thinking daily of what we are grateful for during this difficult season), it can help to decrease our anxiety and help us weather difficult periods.
If you would like to discuss further how your child and/or family can work on this, or you need connections to community resources in the area, please feel free to contact me. I hope your family finds rest and connection during this school break.
12/7/20
The winter holiday season can be a difficult and stressful time of year for many. Particularly this year, our children may be feeling the stress as well. If there will be changes to the family holiday routines, it can be helpful to discuss this in advance with our kids. If there are traditions that can still be done, this can be emphasized to kids, and special activities just for this year can be discussed. Many activities this year have been made available outdoors, in the car (such as holiday light activities) or through a virtual setting (such as area plays).
We also may want to be mindful of signs of increased distress in our children. If your child is sleeping more or less than normal, particularly irritable or withdrawn, seems uninterested in things they usually enjoy, or makes statements of hopelessness or frequent sadness, it may be time to seek additional support. If you are concerned about your child, you are welcome to contact me to discuss your concerns. Your pediatrician’s office is often a very helpful contact, and many doctors are currently offering telehealth appointments in lieu of going to the office. It is important to note that children can at times have suicidal thoughts. If you are worried about the safety of your child, yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting self or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
11/30/20
In a social-emotional curriculum called Zones of Regulation that teaches self-regulation strategies, the lessons start out with recognizing emotions, both in ourselves and others. Before we can manage an emotion, we have to be able to recognize what that emotion is. In their book The Whole-Brain Child, Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson have a strategy called “Name It to Tame It” that helps the child share the story of their emotion and where it is coming from. By doing this, they are more able to regulate that emotion. If we don’t understand the emotions we are feeling, they will control us. Gaining understanding of our emotions and when we experience them gives us the tools to recognize and handle emotions as they arise.
We can help our children with this skill by naming our own emotions, pointing out emotional responses in books and movies, and asking our children to notice emotions in these. One important time when we can acknowledge emotions is when our children are acting out. At times, naming the emotion that our child might be feeling helps them feel connected and understood, and this makes it easier to for our child to calm down enough for us to give a redirection. “You are yelling so loud, you must feel really frustrated about that.” “I can tell from how you are acting that you must feel so disappointed.” “You are very sad that you can’t keep playing the game you were enjoying.” Additional resources to explore to help with strategies for this are Conscious Discipline and Child Mind Institute,. If you would like to further discuss strategies or get connected to resources for assistance, please feel free to contact me.
11/16/20
The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) cites five core competencies for social-emotional learning: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. CASEL defines responsible decision-making as “The ability to make constructive and respectful choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on consideration of ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms, the realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and the well-being of self and others.”
With the realities of coming to the school building this year, students have been working hard to exercise the muscle of personal responsibility through following safety requirements such as wearing masks and social distancing. This time of year, we are often all fatigued, and likely even more so this year. This can make exercising the responsible decision-making muscle difficult. As parents, we can acknowledge how hard our students are working to wear masks and socially distance at school. We can notice how students are acting to keep themselves and others safe while doing this. When limits with socializing outside of school and participating in activities have to be made due to safety concerns, we can reflect on this competency of responsible decision-making. We can discuss how important it is to remember that our decisions affect not only ourselves, but others. We can acknowledge our students’ sacrifices in doing these things, and give them pride in the fact that by following safety rules, they are caring for the well-being of themselves and others.
11/9/20
Some families have mentioned that they find the monthly calendars that I post to my website helpful. These are from a group called Action for Happiness. When I went to their site to get their November calendar, they reminded us at the top of the page, “Covid is restricting our lives, but we can find new ways to keep making progress.” It has been so hopeful to see the ways that families have creatively problem-solved to bring joy to their lives and their families. Can’t do traditional trick-or-treating? Fine, we will make candy chutes and create backyard candy hunts! It is amazing to see the resilience of families and children in adjusting to these new challenges that life is throwing us (2020 is giving us plenty!) and finding ways to bring joy and meet needs.
Having a “growth mindset” is something that can be helpful in building resilience and navigating unexpected challenges. People who are using a growth mindset are unafraid of making mistakes, welcome the process of learning something new, and believe in their potential to learn and grow with practice and effort. We are not perfect people, and these are not perfect times. But when we are on the other side of this pandemic, what do we want to be able to say about how we handled this time? What do we want our children to learn about tackling difficulty? In any small ways that we can, let’s lean in to learning and recognize how important our creativity and persistence are to ourselves and families.
11/2/20
During this time of increased stress, we might notice more acting out or unusual behaviors on the part of our children. Even as adults, we likely feel overwhelmed by current circumstances. Our children pick up on those feelings and are likely also experiencing their own stressors and anxiety. All this stress might be wearing on our relationships. We all (kids and adults) might find ourselves with shorter tempers and outsized reactions.
John Gottman, a famous relationship expert, refers to something he calls the “emotional bank account” with our partners. Every positive interaction we have with our partner is a deposit, and every negative interaction we have is a withdrawal. We need to keep “money in the bank” with enough positive interactions to handle our withdrawals. I believe this theory also applies to our interactions with our children. What are ways that we can help our children remember that they are good kids? This can be as simple as giving a hug, listening to a child’s story, or showing appreciation when they put away their shoes or stick their dishes in the dishwasher. Paying attention to ways that we can notice our children and help them see us noticing them can build up that “emotional bank account,” that helps our kids remember that they are loved and are good kids who can make good choices even in tough times.
10/26/20
As we near the end of October and start moving towards November, I would like to make sure that everyone knows about the Holiday Shop available through the Johnson County Christmas Bureau. The Holiday Shop helps to provide toys, coats, groceries, and personal care items that families may need help obtaining those items this winter. If you would like to see more information and or to apply, you can see the flyer available on my community events and resources page or apply at https://jccb.org/apply2020. Additionally, please remember that school breakfast and lunch continue to be free to all students. Free meals for Saturday and Sunday (and for the week, for remote families) will continue to be available, and can be picked up on Friday mornings from 6:30 am to 7:45 am. If you are struggling to get to the school to pick up these items, please contact me to discuss the situation.
Our community is facing all of the stressors of a pandemic, while still trying to meet the needs of our families and ourselves. Parenting can be stressful under normal circumstances, and even more so now. Signs that we may be strongly in need of self-care can come from our bodies and our emotions. Continually sacrificing sleep, noticing an increase in muscle aches/pains, having digestive concerns, reacting to others in ways that we later regret, taking things personally, feeling overwhelmed and having more difficulty finding joy in our daily lives may all be signs of a need for increased self-care. Making a self-care plan can seem overwhelming. At times it helps most to start with, what are small things that we can do when we are in the stressful moments to help ourselves? Whether it is walking out of the room for 5 minutes and taking some deep breaths, or having something to repeat to ourselves (“You are strong and you can do this” “I’m doing the best that I can”), starting with these brief strategies that may last only a few minutes can be a place to start. What is one thing you might be able to do this next week that could help you in a difficult moment? If you would like to talk about additional resources or strategies, you can contact me by phone, email or requesting a virtual meeting.
10/19/20
CARES funding has helped to make childcare options more affordable in the area:
JCPRD
Through JCPRD, Families can apply today and get funding through December 30, 2020, or until funding is depleted. Here is the link to the child care subsidy application: https://www.jcprd.com/FormCenter/Childrens-Services-10/COVID19-School-Age-Remote-Learning-Child-329 If you have any questions, please contact the Registration office at 913-831-3359 or email Registration@jocogov.org
Shawnee Mission sites include: https://jcprd.com/225/Shawnee-Mission-OST
YMCA
Full-day Y Learning Academy and Y Club Academy after school are available at discounted rates to families. We’re grateful to the county for supporting families with these funds, which will allow us to provide much-needed education support. Funds will be available to families who live or work in Johnson County and attest to an annual adjusted gross household income of up to $150,000. For more information or to apply, see: https://kansascityymca.org/blog/free-before-after-school-full-day-programs
For more information or help navigating, please contact me.
10/5/20
October is Bullying Prevention Month. Committee for Children, the creators of Second Step (a social-emotional curriculum that many buildings in our district utilize) has a fun activity going on this month with Captain Compassion. Kids can read a weekly comic strip throughout the month of October, and utilizer a decoder wheel to look for coded words in the comic. If kids decode the message at the end of the month, they can enter for a chance to be drawn as a person in the comic series. There are also some helpful videos on the website for families to watch, including what to do as a bystander, how to respond if your child is bullied, and what to do if your child is bullying someone else.
This month, Back Snacks will also start being sent home with students who are participating in the program. This is a program that families can apply for in which they are able to obtain some extra meal and snack food for students to have over the weekend, when school meals are not available. All you have to do to apply for this program is to email me at brennasandefur@smsd.org or call me at 913-993-5668. There are no forms for you to complete, and your participation is confidential.
9/28/20
This week, we have wrapped up Suicide Prevention Month. One of the most important things that we can do to protect the health and safety of ourselves and our children is to take care of ourselves. Parenting is difficult at any time, but during the pandemic, parents have been asked to do more than ever, with less support than before. According to the American Psychological Association, parents with children at home under 18 are “markedly more stressed” than non-parents.
With this increased amount of stress happening in our homes, it has become more important than ever before to take care of ourselves. If we are unsafe or unwell, we are unable to care for others. During a worldwide crisis, we must practice putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first. This might look like letting a child know that you are going to sit and drink your coffee while it is hot, and then you will play with them. It might look like letting your kiddo watch another show tonight so that you can call and talk to a friend. It might mean a family walk together, or asking a another adult to watch the children so that you can take a walk alone. Taking care of yourself is an act of love to your family.
If your stress levels have risen to the level that you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, it is time to reach out for immediate support. Emergency resources include:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
Many are feeling isolated and overwhelmed at this time, but it is important for you to know that resources are available for support. If you are wondering about additional support for your family, you can reach out to me through my Contact page.
9/21/20
September is Suicide Prevention Month. There are a growing number of youth & families reporting that suicidal thoughts and actions are impacting our young people, and many families have reported struggling with their mental health during the global pandemic. According to the American Psychiatric Association, over a third of Americans say that the pandemic is affecting their mental health. Next week, we will discuss self-care and preventive measures to support our families’ mental health. During this time of increased stress, it is important to know signs and signals to watch for with our children. Excessive sadness or fatigue, a lack of interest in friends and usual activities, increased irritability or outbursts, difficulty sleeping, withdrawal, and statements of hopelessness are all warnings signs to watch out for. KVC, a hospital in the area that serves children and youth, put together the list below of resources if you are concerned for a loved one. If you would like to talk further with me about resources or support for a student or your family, you can go to my contact page. A reminder that If you are worried about the safety of yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
Resources that KVC provided include:
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor 24/7 at the Crisis Text Line
The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers a helpline staffed by volunteers who have mental health conditions: 800-950-6264
Warm Lines provides peer support on a local level
Call the Disaster Distress helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746
This free mental health assessment can help parents decide if their child may be struggling with depression and in need of professional support
Click here to read KVC blogs about suicide prevention, including warning signs to watch for, risk factors for self-harm in youth, how to talk to kids about suicide, inspiring stories of youth who have achieved mental health wellness, and more
9/14/20
As students’ first week at school is wrapping up, hopefully you all have been able to ride the wave of the technology learning curve and juggling schedules. The teachers have been working so hard to find creative ways of engaging students, establishing new routines, and making remote learning exciting. There have been a lot of changes this week, and that can be hard for anyone. Hopefully your family can take some deep breaths this weekend, disconnect from screens, and find a way to be outside or do something enjoyable as a family.
I wanted to remind everyone that school meals are currently FREE for everyone. This includes 7 breakfasts and 7 lunches. All you have to do is show up at school on Fridays between 7-9 with the student ID#s for your students, and you will be provided meals for the following week. If you have questions, you can contact the Food Service office at (913) 993-9710 or foodservices@smsd.org. You can visit my Community Events and Resources page, my Crisis/Hotline Numbers page, or the Parent Resource Page created by district social workers for more information about available supports in the community.
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and the next couple of weeks I will try to include information about supporting our students’ mental health, and ways to access support if needed. A reminder that If you are worried about the safety of yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
9/7/20
As we gear up for school, your family could have had many changes from last March, when we last saw your families in the buildings. One significant change that has happened for many families is loss of income. When this happens, it can be difficult at times to figure out how to get food on the table. Some options available to help with that, that are available through our school system, are
Signing up for Back Snacks. This is a program that families can apply for in which they are able to obtain some extra meal and snack food for students to have over the weekend, when school meals are not available. If you are a Trailwood family, all you have to do to apply for this program is to email me at brennasandefur@smsd.org or call me at 913-993-5668. There are no forms for you to complete, and your participation is confidential.
Apply for free/reduced meals for your students. If you receive state benefits, such as SNAP or TANF, call the food service office at 913-993-9710 before applying. Information you give as a part of your application is confidential.
o You can apply online or print an application at https://www.smsd.org/about/departments/food-service/free-reduced-meals.
o You can see if your family’s income might be eligible here: https://resources.finalsite.net/images/v1598374388/smsdorg/jzduba3d3bo60vk7rvsk/Letter_to_Household2020-21.pdf
Access community resources. You can get information about agencies in the area that provide assistance by accessing my website. I will also be trying to keep it updated with information regarding community events, such as Free Food Fridays.
When in doubt, talk it out. If you’re not sure what might be available and you want to talk through the resources that are out there, I can be contacted by phone, or we can schedule a virtual appointment. My contact information is:
Email: brennasandefur@smsd.org
Phone: 913-993-5668
My website: https://sites.google.com/smsd.org/mrs-sandefur-social-worker/home
5/26/20
As we wrap up school, we are also nearing the end of Mental Health Awareness Month, during which we have discussed strategies for taking care of ourselves during this disorienting time, ways to support our children’s mental health, and signs of increased stress and anxiety in children. As our children are isolated for a longer period of time, it is also important to talk about signs of depression. While depression is less commonly diagnosed in children than anxiety, it is important to seek help when signs are recognized, so that the depression does not worsen. If your child is sleeping more than normal, particularly irritable or withdrawn, seems uninterested in things they usually enjoy, or makes statements of hopelessness or frequent sadness, your child may be experiencing depression. Additional signs and information are discussed in this handout provided by the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners. If you are concerned about your child, your pediatrician’s office is often a very helpful contact, and many doctors are currently offering telehealth appointments in lieu of going to the office. It is important to note that depression can at times lead to suicidal thoughts. If you are worried about the safety of your child, yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting self or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
As school wraps up, this may feel strange or disorienting for your student—I know it has for some of us! Any fun activities or “celebrations” you can do to acknowledge the work your family has done in trying to stay connected with learning during this time may help to mark the moment in a manner that emphasizes your family’s hard work. As we head into summer, it may be helpful to continue a daily routine of consistent meal times and sleep/wake times, even if this is not your family’s typical rhythm during the summer. Giving our children something reliable and consistent over these months may be useful in managing worries and uncertainty. Getting outside as possible, staying active, and trying to remember and acknowledge any positives that we can are useful for keeping our bodies and brains healthy. We are looking forward to engaging with your children in the fall. Until then, take care of yourselves, and be gentle with yourselves! We are all doing our best. Links to community resources will continue to be available on my website over the summer.
5/18/20
As part of Mental Health Awareness month, we have been talking about taking care of ourselves during this disorienting time, as well as supporting our children’s mental health in the midst of this pandemic. This is a time where everyone likely has worries at times. For children already experiencing anxiety, there may be some added stressors. According to the CDC, over 7% of children ages 3-17 have been diagnosed with anxiety by a health or mental health professional. Because children have a harder time verbalizing their feelings and emotions, some signs of anxiety may be difficult for parents to spot. Headaches, stomach aches, statements about being “bored,” increased grumpiness and difficulty sleeping can all be signs that a child may be feeling anxious.
To help check in with how children are doing, simply talking more frequently about our feelings can be helpful. This may look like playing a high/low game at dinner (where everyone shares the best/worst part of the day), using a feelings chart, or reading a book together to get a conversation started (Jon Burgerman’s book Everybody Worries is available for free online to read and directly addresses the current situation, giving an opportunity to discuss anything your child might currently be concerned about). If you are wondering if your child’s worries go beyond what may be “typical” for the current circumstance, or you think your child would benefit from counseling and you want to discuss resources, my contact information is available on my website. If concerns arise over the summer, your pediatrician can also be a really helpful contact in determining if there are concerns you need assistance with, and many doctors are currently offering telehealth appointments in lieu of going to the office. If you are worried about the safety of your child, yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting self or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
5/11/20
May is Mental Health Awareness month. Last week, information was shared on the importance of parents taking care of themselves, and ways that this can actually help support children, as well. Children’s behavior currently may be unpredictable. One day they may seem irritable and the next they may be happily enjoying a family activity. We can help support our children’s health during this crisis by trying to provide them with as much of a routine as possible. Having similar waking, eating, and sleeping times daily is comforting to children, and something that they can count on when so much is in flux. Trying to take breaks from screens and getting outside or getting some exercise can also be helpful. Right now, the news can be even more stressful than usual. Limiting how many “coronavirus updates” or attention-grabbing headlines that your child is exposed to can be helpful in managing anxiety around what is happening in the world and what to expect in the months ahead. One of the most important things might be just the action of being gentle with ourselves and others. It is a difficult time for everyone, and we are all going to have “meltdowns.” Probably every single parent in the country (and world!) has said or done something over the past couple of months that they wish had gone differently. Acknowledging this to our children (“I was frustrated by some computer issues and I yelled at you. I’m sorry I yelled, and I will try to take some deep breaths next time before I answer.”) and being gentle with ourselves and our children when we struggle can help our children learn these same skills of being gracious to themselves and others.
If your child’s behavior feels like too much for you to handle, your child’s behavior is dramatically different than normal, or you have worries about your child’s health or safety, it is time to ask someone for help. I am available for support and resources, and my contact information is available on my website. Your pediatrician can also be a really helpful contact in determining if there are concerns you need assistance with, and many doctors are currently offering telehealth appointments in lieu of going to the office. If you are worried about the safety of your child, yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting self or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
5/4/20
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Now more than ever is a time for us to think about how we are taking care of ourselves. Many parents are taking on increased responsibilities and roles at home, making it difficult to think about or take care of themselves. It may feel as if any sense of a “work-life balance” has been eroded if still employed. For those trying to find work or wait for a furlough to end, the additional financial pressures and questions about what happens next can overwhelm our systems. Despite how difficult it can feel, taking even steps that seem small, such as 15 minutes to stretch, be alone, or focus on our breathing can make a difference.
By taking this time for themselves, parents can help children understand that it is okay and necessary for them to spend time taking care of their own health, bodies, brains, and emotions. It is okay to name feelings out loud. Saying, “I am sad that I can’t see your grandma in person today, but I know we need to help her stay safe for right now. I will make sure to talk to her on Facetime today. I know going for a walk often helps me when I’m sad, so I will try to do that, too” is helpful for kids to understand how to name an emotion and cope with it. Children are often attuned to the emotions of adults around them, even when we, as the adults, don’t realize it. Gaining self-awareness of our own emotions, talking about them, and showing our children the coping skills we use to deal with them sets the tone for our children to begin to recognize their emotions, know it is safe to talk about them with us when they need to, and see that there are coping tools available for strong emotions when they arise. If you would like to speak further about this, or any other needs, my contact information and community resources are available on my website.
If you have become overwhelmed by the current situation or need additional help to cope, I am happy to talk about resources available to support you. If you are worried about the safety of yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
4/27/20
A fellow social worker shared this graphic with me earlier this week, and I thought, this could describe me right now! Adults and children have all been home together for over a month at this point, and stress comes not just from that, but our concerns about how to support our families, but what is going on in the wider world. One of the most helpful things that we can do is to be gentle with ourselves and each other. Taking deep breaths, or a moment to pause, can help our bodies and brains calm down enough to problem-solve and react to situations in a more helpful way.
If you need other resources for food, are worried about bills, or have other needs, please contact me! I am also happy to discuss any worries about your child, or support for yourself or family members. All of my contact information, as well as community resources and other information, are available on my website.
4/20/20
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEmaWIxyhj8&feature=youtu.be
Sesame Street has a PSA for parents….you are doing amazing, and everything you can! It is a trying, difficult time for the world. Online school, parenting 24/7, working or worrying about work, and trying to stay healthy/keep others healthy can be so overwhelming. Just like Sesame Street does, teachers and schools know that you are doing everything you can to take care of your children. American Academy of Pediatrics has a list of some things parents can do to help kiddos cope with what is currently going on, and Conscious Discipline has opened up lots of free resources. Programs like Sesame Street are making episodes specifically for kids to have something to connect with during this time, like Elmo’s Playdate (it’s virtual!), and PBS is offering information about how their programs can be helpfully utilized.
Despite all of our attempts, the stress might get to ourselves or our children. If this happens, and additional support is needed for adults or children, help is available. Many therapists and mental health providers are offering virtual sessions at this time, if help for depression, anxiety, or coping is desired. Emergency resources are listed below for times that you may be concerned about the safety of yourself or someone else. If you are interested in counseling and would like to speak with me about options, or need help working out how to access this, please contact me! You can email me, call me, or request a virtual meeting through the contact page on my website. I am happy to talk with you about options. The Shawnee Mission School District has developed protocols for social workers and counselors to be able to connect virtually with students through the end of the school year, as an additional support to students.
Unemployment is currently affecting over twenty million people in our country. If you are worried about access to food, paying bills, or other needs, there is access to multiple community resources that you can look at through my website. SMSD is serving meals at four locations on Monday and Wednesday that provide enough meals for children to have two meals a day Monday-Friday. Harvesters is working hard with local food banks and pantries that are open to make resources available. Some sites, such as United Way 211 (also available by calling 211 or 816-474-5112) and Community Care Link, can help to locate organizations that might be able to help, as well. I am happy to talk with you about any resource needs that you might have, and see how I can help to connect you with what you need.
If you are worried about the safety of yourself or someone else due to concerns of hurting yourself or others, it is time to contact an emergency resource:
· 911
· Johnson County Mental Health Center (24 Hour Crisis Line): 913-268-0156
· Suicide Prevention Lifeline (also available 24 Hours/Day): 1-800-273-8255
4/13/20
For a time of “social distancing,” it may feel as though an inundation of information is happening for parents. Meeting requests and updates are being sent from work for some, others are forced to engage with complicated systems in hopes of being able to cover their family’s needs, children are looking for connection and comfort, we are constantly updated by the media on the state of things, and boundaries between work, home, and school become somewhat eroded. It can feel difficult to know what to prioritize.
At times of feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it can be helpful for both parents and children to take a step away, even if it is simply for thirty seconds to take some deep breaths (children may need support and coaching with this—and adults might too!). As we take those few moments for ourselves, trying to find any sort of positive moment in the day can help our brains step out of a negative path. This can be acknowledging something simple, like “I get to see the sun today.” I have often told kids at school, noticing something seemingly small, like your sandwich at lunch tasted good, is training the brain to stay in a more positive place. If you would like to talk more about this or other physical, emotional, or mental health needs, please contact me through my "contact" page on this website.
4/6/20
“Kids don’t say, “Beloved parent, I’m having difficulty in my daily life. I don’t fully understand what’s happening, I miss my friends, I’m afraid someone I know is going to die and it feels like life will never be normal again.” Instead, they throw tantrums, become clingy, sulk, backtalk, refuse to do anything you ask, wet the bed, pick fights with siblings and suddenly forget how to do basic tasks they mastered years ago.” -Becky Bailey, consciousdiscipline.com
Parents are handling a great deal during this time. One of the best ways that we can support ourselves and our children is to be checking in with our own emotions and being aware of how we are feeling, as our children are very connected to their parents’ emotional state. Acknowledging our own feelings and helping our children to name theirs is a first step towards helping our children learn to share and manage their emotions. A feelings chart to help with identifying emotions can be a useful tool. If you would like to talk more about this or other physical, emotional, or mental health needs, please contact me through my "contact" page on this website.
3/30/20
It is an unprecedented time, and as adults, we have many worries for our families. Is my job secure? If not, how will I meet my family’s needs? Will my family and friends stay healthy and safe? How will this situation affect my child’s learning and future? The most important thing that we can do currently to support our children’s learning is to help them feel as safe and secure as possible. We can work towards this by doing our best to take care of our own well-being, giving us the resources to provide a safe base for our children.
If your family is in need of resources to help support physical, emotional, or mental health needs, I want to do my best to help. You can find my contact information and links to community supports on this website. This includes a link to a parent resource page created by district social workers that provides activities, community resources, and COVID-19 information. I am a technology user-in-learning, so please have patience with me as my site develops! I look forward to connecting with you.
Page updated
Report abuse