Bestselling author Ta-Nehisi Coates joins Trevor and Christiana to discuss his new book about how the stories we tell, and the ones we don’t, shape our realities. They also unpack the jaw-dropping CBS interview that followed the book’s release, and our elusive search as a people to see the humanity in others. 

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A young man finds escape on the internet. He doesn’t realize that on the other side of the screen, a force is pulling him in. 

“I don’t think friendships are necessarily a forever thing. I think sometimes it’s beneficial to end them. In my twenties, I tried to stay in expired friendships where the dynamic was doing me a disservice. In this episode, I talk through two examples of when I ended “key” friendships in my life.” 

**explicit language used

The day after the police shooting of Philando Castile, hundreds of young Asian Americans connected online to write an open letter to their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, asking them to support movements like Black Lives Matter. It also broached a subject many felt deeply uncomfortable bringing up to their older relatives: anti-black racism in Asian American communities. The letter has set off countless conversations across generations of immigrant families in many different languages. Shereen Marisol Meraji and Kat Chow talk to Christina Xu, who started this project, and listen in to one conversation between a daughter and her father about why she chooses to join these marches. 

It’s not easy to know how we come across to others, especially when we’re meeting people for the first time. Psychologist Erica Boothby says many of us underestimate how much other people actually like us. This week, we revisit one of our most popular episodes to look at how certain social illusions give us a distorted picture of ourselves.