"Until Tonight"

Title: Until Tonight

Pairing: Stuart/Vince

Rating: NC-17

Genre: Angst

Summary: After Vince's party . . . Stuart faces the music.

Author Notes: I'm feeling the awful effects of having to study for this damn licensing exam in Sept. As I'm in a not so lovely mood, this is the result. We see a side of Vince that's hinted at during the show but only in spurts. I'm talking anger, and his darker nature. Not that Stuart doesn't deserve it.

Spoilers: QAF1

Until Tonight

by xof

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The sleep he's so desperately sought as refuge assaulted him with its abandonment. The waking nightmare continued to haunt him with the cruelty of his own actions as he thrashed about in bed. He'd considered taking a sleeping pill . . . but some masochistic impulse prevented him from seeking the comfort of lost consciousness. He deserved the misery, right? Stuart Alan Jones had done a potentially devastating thing to his best friend of half a lifetime. And on his birthday, too. Sure he kept telling himself that it was for both their own goods that Vince be forced to beat a hasty exit from his life . . . but his inner voice echoed with the sentiment of pain. Guilt leaving traces of acidity across his tongue . . .

Stuart mumbled, "Sod it!" He thrust back the bed covers and left its warmth to stumble in the dark. The pills where out . . . so that left alcohol. At least that meant that he could try forgetting while still adding to his chances of debilitating his body's reserves that much sooner with drinking. Short term escape followed by long term consequences... Just like his life. For so long he'd clung to the flash of each one night stand while ignoring the results of his actions and their future repercussions.

Stuart didn't wait for the spirits to hit him before slumping down to the floor in front of his bar. Reclining back as he drank, the man just shook his head without thought as he tried to focus on anything but the reality of being alone. He sneered at the thought. Stuart Alan Jones had everything he wanted in life. Money, killer looks, charm, good business sense and the ability to shag any bloke he fancied. This self-satisfying list was quickly followed by a voice echoing through his fogged brain, 'Yeah, but what don't you have, you twat?' A family who knew and accepted him for what he truly was . . . A home instead of a shag factory . . . A son to raise without the specter of Lance on the horizon . . . And a friend . . .

He'd had that friend until tonight. No matter what they'd gone through . . . no matter how he'd abused and taken Vince's loyalty for granted, they'd always been each other's closest link in life. Vince was closer to him than anyone, knew him better than even his own blood family . . . saw the harsh reality of his true face and still loved him despite his spoiled nature. Until tonight . . .

"I did it for him." Stuart knew that others would see outing Vince to a co-worker as just another of his cruel jokes - a whim without care of consequence. The ultimate betrayal of trust. Complete with a Judas kiss. Hell, beating the shit out of his friend wouldn't have had the same lasting impact. "Fuck!"

And the look in his eyes . . . those beautiful eyes so filled with pain. "Jeesuz!!!"

He threw his whiskey glass across the room, hearing the satisfying crash as it fragmented against he knew not what...

"It was for him." Hanging his head low, Stuart sighed in exhaustion. He'd been walking in a state of dread all night. Waiting for Rosalie to show, putting on a face for Vince and playing off of Cameron's anger. His jealousy . . . Cameron's and his own. He would have thought that having recognized that worthless emotion in himself would have been more surprising, but then no matter who they'd been shagging . . . Vince had always been his. In mind, heart . . . in every way except in deed. But realizing that he didn't just dislike Cameron . . . that he was actually jealous of the hold the man was trying to place on Vince had been disturbing. Having Cameron throw Vince's desire for Stuart in his face had been his breaking point.

But now that he'd deliberately pushed Vince out of his world, Stuart felt like he'd been the one left adrift. And it had only been a few hours. What the hell was he gonna feel like in the days, months . . . hell - the years to come? Running his hands through the mass of black curls atop his head, Stuart rested his forehead against his knees . . . the position becoming almost fetal as he began to rock slightly. "This is not what I want."

"What do you want, Stuart?"

The sound of Vince's voice caused Stuart to jerk his head up before he screamed out a curse as his skull connected violently with the bar behind him. "Fucking shit sonofabitch ..." He was seeing stars as his brain tried to absorb the sparks of pain that flinted across his eyes. Cradling the back of his scalp, Stuart questioned hesitantly . . . as if the figure sitting across the room at his desk were a figure of his addled brain. "Vince?"

"Yeah, that's me. Just the one, in case you're seeing double."

"Ha ha..." Stuart stumbled up off the floor. He wandered unsteadily around the bar until he could stand behind it, leaning against it for support as he looked over at Vince. His former friend was sitting in what seemed a perfectly calm manner, staring his way with an expression that hid any trace of his customary emotions. The stillness of his body and the bland tone of his voice all served to put Stuart even more on edge. "What are you doing here, Vince?"

"Keeping with the theme of the night . . . apparently."

"Which theme is that? Having a go at me..."

"By the looks, you're having a pretty good go at yourself here..." Vince nodded towards the shared of broken glass that now littered one corner of Stuart's floor.

Stuart flinched as he realized that Vince had been a witness to his every move since he'd left the bed. He didn't like the fact that he'd been seen like that by this man. And what'd he'd said...bloody hell. "Answer the question, Vince."

"The theme of revealing hidden truths." Vince's voice held an edge that may have been sarcastic pain or reluctantly admitted irony.

Not wanting to face this discussion, Stuart went on the attack as a means of self-defense. "I'm disappointed so far, Vince. Your best chance in life to play drama queen and you're blowing it all to shit." His sense of anticipation was weighted by Vince's non-response to his harsh words. The man didn't get up and leave or even open his mouth to respond. Vince just continued to sit there . . . looking at him as though he'd suddenly turned transparent with every secret shining from his heart and mind. Taking a different tact, Stuart grinned sarcastically as he asked, "So where's Cameron?"

"Still in my bed just like you'd planned."

"What are you talking about?" Stuart stood straighter as Vince rose from his seat and proceeded to walk slowly towards him as he spoke very deliberately.

"I'm speaking of the man you've supposedly sacrificed me too. My lover, by your designs. The man I'm fucking in your stead." Seeing Stuart's shocked expression, Vince continued as he walked around Stuart's back to his other side . . . repeating the motion as he spoke. The prowling movements caused Stuart to freeze up and stare straight ahead as he felt Vince's body brush against his back and arse with every pass around him. "You ignored him at Phil's funeral as unshaggable. You suavely segue-wayed out of a conversation regarding your indiscretion with Nathan in my mother's house . . . in the same fucking room you first touched me at fourteen, mind, to set me up on a date with Cameron because it was an amusing way to escape. No accountability if the focus shifts off you. You sent me out to him that night after telling me I was fantastic, one of only a hand-full of complements you've ever given me that didn't end with you calling me a sad bastard. Then the oh-so-supportive friend that you are, you tried to shag him the very next time you saw us together . . . when you were the one who pushed me into being there with him in the first place."

Stopping briefly to whisper into Stuart's ear, Vince confessed, "That night was the first time I shagged him. Call it marking my territory out of spite. The irony being that he's not the one I wanted to claim."

Stuart bit back a surprised gasp as Vince pressed fully against his back, sending his own body closer into the solidity of the bar. He glanced down as Vince placed his hands on the counter on either side of him, effectively pinning him in place. He shivered as he felt the heat of the man's voice against the back of his neck.

"After that, I enjoyed it when we'd be out and Cameron would try his damnedest to splay you in two with jibes. I admit to finding satisfaction at seeing you on the other end of a sarcastic tongue. Kept telling myself that you deserved the benefit of a doubt, though. And it placed me in a position in which I could defend you once again. Ever the loyal Vince, that's me."

Stuart opened his mouth to say . . . hell, he didn't know what. Just to stop the stream of words from Vince's mouth. These were thoughts too intense for the open air, a painful mirror of his own cruel actions and he wanted nothing more than to escape the tumult they caused him to feel. Escape from the heat of having Vince's body against him and the flutter being trapped like this produced in his chest. So he moved to speak, only to have his words cut off with the slide of Vince's hand down the length of his bared chest and under his shorts . . . stopping just above his groin. Feeling the tips of Vince's fingers traveling through the curls just above his cock sent a violent stab of need through his body. He gasped out harshly in response to the hardening of his flesh. "Vince? What are you . . ." His voice drifted off in sudden silence as Vince pulled him fully back against his chest with his other hand playing smoothly over Stuart's chest.

"I'm doing what I want to do for a change. Being selfish seems to have some rewards. I mean, look what it's always afforded you. Oh but you were being selfless tonight, you were. Giving me the chance to experience love with Cameron . . . freeing me from the big bad monster, Stuart Alan Jones. Once again taking the decision for things out of my hands. Thought I'd just follow along and walk away without demanding more from you than you've condescended to give me in the past. No explanations needed with Vince. He'll just follow along like the good puppy that he is, but then I've always placated everyone in my life. Especially you." Vince lowered his warm touch to tease along the base of Stuart's hard-on...never closer than the brush of a finger before drawing away and returning again, the motion causing the silk fabric of Stuart's shorts to glide over the head of his cock in added torture.

As Stuart's body surged forward into the touch, his mind warred against this turn of reality. I mean this was Vince . . . grabbing him close, touching him . . . almost but not enough and speaking in a way that baffled Stuart with his candor. "Oh god." Stuart groaned loudly as Vince reached down even further to take his balls in hand.

"Oh no, Stuart. It's always been about you. All these years and all my longing . . ." Vince rolled them slowly in their sag, laughing roughly against his neck as Stuart spread his legs to allow him more room in which to move. "But things change. And today of all days should be about what I want."

Stuart groaned as Vince pushed him forward, making him lean over the counter top. Not believing how hot this was, how unbelievable that this was happening and how much he was loving it, Stuart tried to push back up only to have Vince place his free hand on the back of his neck. It was a directional move, meant to command but not to frighten. Stuart gripped the edges of the counter as he gave in the to position. "Vince, please. I . . ."

"Shh, Stuart. I still have the floor." He punctuated his words by pressing his own groin against Stuart's behind, moving round in small enticing circles as he let go of Stuart's warm flesh. Vince pulled Stuart's shorts over his hips till they hit the floor. "You've been a naughty boy, Stuart. Have a lot of making up to do . . ." He placed his hand on Stuart's hips as the man began to press back into his movements. "Keeping that in mind, what do I want? What with it being the big 3 - 0 and all. Party was great, up until you played cunt of the century. K-9 was the best, but even that pales after what you did. The kiss . . . nice but as kiss-offs go, a bit below par." He leaned in over the man's back and whispered in his ear. "So ask me."

Stuart was breathing heavily at this point. Desperate to feel more of Vince's touch despite having his brain screaming out that he needed to think, Stuart panted out a question. "Ask . . . oh shit. Ask what?"

"For a change ask me what I want, Stuart."

Pressing his forehead against the counter as he shook his head back and forth with the wanton circling of his own hips against Vince's denim covered hard-on, Stuart gasped out the required question. "What do you want?"

Vince chuckled as he breathed a waved of hot air against Stuart's shoulder blades. The man below him had started to sweat as he moved. "Such a slut, you are. Hmm...nice moves though." Licking up Stuart's neck, Vince bit playfully at the man's skin before raising them both up off the bar. Pulling Stuart's naked body back against his fully clothed form, Vince said. "I want many things. But right now, I'd like to find out just what your cock feels like in my hand."

Stuart moaned as Vince took his harden flesh in hand. So brilliant to feel his touch . . . to know that it was Vince who . . . "Oh yeah. Shit, Vince." The man behind him was stroking in a demanding rhythm along the full length of his cock, not giving him a chance to catch his breath. Only the touch kept changing . . . a slow tease over the crown, circling of his wrist as his palm moved along the shaft, slow pumping of his cock from base to tip . . . every changing in the madness of this tangled scene. Stuart had to lean completely back against Vince's chest, unable to trust the strength of his own legs. Biting at his lip, he still couldn't contain the volume of his escalating moans.

Purposefully, Vince continued to work him to the point of coming and then retreating back again. Stuart finally cried out, "Vince! Please, I need . . . I want . . ."

Pinching Stuart's nipples in time with his strokes, Vince spoke in a tone colored roughly with his own response to Stuart's passion. "What, Stuart? What do you want?" Speeding up his pace, he demanded. "Tell me or I'll stop."

"I . . . I want. Want . . ." Breathing out he spoke rapidly as he felt his body coming quickly to the precipice, "I want you."

Vince pressed Stuart back down onto the bar, speaking in a quiet voice that spoke of sudden deep and stark emotion. "Nice to hear. But - we - don't - always - get - what - we - want." The words followed meaningfully by Vince quickly pressing down hard at just the right spot to stop Stuart's climax in its tracks.

Crying out in disbelief and surprise, Stuart felt it as Vince removed his hands from his body. Trembling in with a rush of conflicting emotions - anger, confusion - mixed the still burning heat of his own body, Stuart gasped out a question. "Why?"

"For what you did to me, of course." Vince spoke from a distance.

Stuart turned his head as he remained slumped over the counter for support to look at him standing over now by the door. "I didn't . . ."

"What? Didn't what? Want to hurt me . . . Too late." Raising his hand - the one he'd had round Stuart's cock - to his lips, Vince inhaled the fragrance of Stuart's flesh before speaking again. "Well now you know some of what it's like . . . wanting something you not gonna get. Being party to a wank that never got finished." Slowly drawing two of his fingers into his mouth, Vince made a point of tasting Stuart while he watched.

Stuart stood finally, running both hands over his face before reaching down to draw up his shorts over his cock . . . biting back a sound as the silk teased over his still hardened flesh. Looking at Vince, he opened his mouth to speak . . . confused as to what he wanted to say. "Vince, I . . ." The words seemed to lodge in the back of his throat like a dead weight. Trying to force them out, he said. "I'm . . ."

Seeing Stuart hesitate one too many times, Vince turned sharply on his heels. "Well it's been a laugh. See yah."

As he jerked open the door in anger, Stuart moved to catch up with him. "Vince, wait. I'm . . ."

The sentence was cut off with the slamming of the door in Stuart's face. And the only sound that broke the silence of the room was Stuart's whisper as he stood alone once more with his misery. ". . . sorry."

Finis