How Action and Romance Influence Us

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Damilola Adebayo

Mike Peterson

English 2010

July 15, 2016

How Action and Romance Influence Us

Watching TV is something a good number of us do. It is something we spend a number of hours doing every day. Before we could even begin to understand what we see in the media, as children, we have already consumed a lot of content on TV. As a result of this, we all love movies one way or another. It might not even be a movie, it could be a documentary, or reality shows. It might be sci-fi or it might even be a telenovela filled with tears, lust, love, and loads of jealousy. Still, we have a particular or a broad category of movies that we like. I am a movie lover myself, and I can consume anything from romance, to action, to sci-fi, to basically anything I consider interesting. Some of us though take watching movies to the extreme. To the extent that it becomes an unhealthy habit. This affects people and they become dependent on these movies. It becomes a drug that we rely on to get through the day. Because we rely so much on these movies, we begin to let them direct our lives. We do things the way our favorite actor or actress did in that movie that we love. Movies are a way of letting go of problems, as we are calm and happy when watching that particular movie, but we forget that when we are done watching whatever it is we watch, reality is still outside the door ready for us to deal with it.

We all watch movies without realizing that on some unconscious level, they influence us, they affect us, whether it is emotionally or even psychologically, they make these tiny or big changes in us that we don’t know about. We attribute these changes to life, or the things we have seen, or the tough decisions we’ve had to make. But the truth is the movies we watch do affect us. As young children or even adults, we sit at the front of the television for hours, and movies are made so we can relate on some level to the actors. So we connect with these people on TV and we “realize” that our lives are being shown to us, and we reason that the way they handled things in the movies will work in real life, so we apply their solutions to our daily lives. The truth is these movies are linear, they focus only on one aspect of the story. They do not really portray the complications of life and how our decision ultimately has a ripple effect on those surrounding us.

I remember a time when I was in love the series Legend of the Seeker. I loved this movie so much that I always talked about it to my mum, which annoyed my mum because she wasn’t really interested in such things. One day my mum decided to watch it with me to see what the fuss was all about, and because she wanted to see what I was always focused on, (also she wanted to make sure I wasn’t watching a film that was bad for my age). Surprisingly, she loved the series and continued to watch it with me, (she did complain that there was a little too much violence, but she let me watch it).

Few days later, I was on my way home after visiting my friend I happened to meet my mum on her way. She wanted to speak to me so I went to her, and after she looked at me from top to bottom, she said, “Dami you are standing like Cara” (Cara is the Mord-Sith in the movie). My reply was to tell her that it wasn’t true, but then she told me that I was really acting like Cara. This was surprising because in the movie Cara was my third hero, besides Richard and Kahlan, because I believed I could relate to her. The point is because I could relate to her, I had begun to subconsciously portray her in my life. The change was little, but it still happened. This happens to every kid that understands and watches television. In a research conducted by Browne, they found out that parents could see that watching anything of TV affected their children. They stated, “In a separate survey of English parents in the same year, the investigators showed that most parents believe that television affects the way their children talk (75%), dress, and behave (about 60%)” (p. 703). So it might not be Legend of Seeker that you watch, it might be Grey’s Anatomy, or Skyfall, or Hunger Games, or even Safe Haven. All these movies subconsciously affect us.

A lot of us watch romance movies, whether boy or girl. Despite the fact that some boys call romance movies “chick flicks”. When we see the way love is portrayed on TV, we expect reality to be the same. Because of what we see we develop unrealistic expectations on what a relationship is. Lauren Galloway even stated that viewing romance movies correlates with the idealized notions that love conquers all. We watch these movies and we expect perfection in our relationships. We expect that love should be enough, that it should conquer all adversities that we face with our partners, but the truth is it is not enough. Love is just one of the very important foundations of a relationship, it is not all a relationship is built on.

Surprisingly, these effects start happening from when we are young. So basically, every form of TV that we have been exposed to, from the time we could remember, has somehow had an influence in who we are today. If we begin to realize that the effects are humongous, we would start to protect the children that we have so that they don’t grow up to be wimps, sociopaths, or psychopaths. Because our minds are easily manipulated when we are young, what we have watched has become so ingrained in our form of thinking that we do not question what we think is right.

Action and romance movies are really popular genres of movies. Because of this, a lot of producers invest a lot of time to make these movies look as realistic as possible. As a result of this, a lot of people in turn watch these movies and some even go as far as blurring the lines between these movies and true reality. We watch romance movies and we develop this sense of perfection that we must have, this perfection according to Matte Melody “could be fatal in a marriage”. This also affects any relationship as we begin to blame others for our own faults, and we expect absolute perfection from, others creating disappointments for ourselves. Because we want perfection, we can never seem to relax. We are insecure about our relationships so we try too hard, and anxiety plagues our daily interactions with other people in and out of our social circle. We believe that we cannot be ourselves, and we slowly disintegrate and become a shell of who we were.

Watching romance movies gives us the sense that there is a perfect relationship, or that there is a perfect man or woman out there, sitting on their ass and waiting for us. This deluded thinking is what causes men, and mostly women, to fight with each other over a person they believe is their “soulmate”, because we watched films like Safe Haven. We believe that one day, prince charming will walk in the door, and sweep us off our feet, or that the perfect girl with the big boobs and ass will walk in and embody, or even exceed all our expectations. What we don’t realize is that there is no “perfect” person that is meant just for us. There is not that one guy that has rock hard abs and can lift 50 pounds of metal. There are only regular guys and regular girls that are also in search for love and affection. According to Allan Jonathan,

The male body, we are told, over and over again, ought to be “slim, toned, and muscular” (Gill, Henwood, & McLean, 2003, Murray Drummond’s (2011) study of the “archetypal heterosexual male body” suggests that “it is one that is muscular, but not too muscular. It is also a body that is devoid of fat and hair. It must be that one is ‘cut’ and ‘chiseled,’ and it must appear strong and powerful” Brenda R. Weber, in a study of television makeovers, notes that the goal of these shows “is to achieve the appearance of a naturally strong and youthful body” for the made-over men. (p. 28)

Allan realized that women fantasize about men that have the attributes that are stated in the quote, and is what they really hope to find. After watching movies or reading books that explain the male anatomy in extensive words, you hear comments like I want one of that like men are objects and they can buy one in the market and mold them to their tastes. Films like Beyond the Lights are good examples of just how we are being deceived. In the movie, the hero is a cop. The fact that he is a cop adds to the mystery or danger which a lot of women are drawn to. Add the fact that he also has the rock solid abs, is very muscular, and is tall, is a perfect stereotype for what women later come to expect in real life. We watch movies like this, and we think that there is that one guy who is exactly like that. So when go on dates, we reject the real life men because they do not reach those unrealistic expectations. It is ok to have standards, we all have those when we are looking for partners, but we should make these criteria based on what we really prioritize, not something that the movies tell us to.

Because romance movies have influenced our thinking this way, we dig a pit for ourselves and fall into the traps of womanizing sociopaths, or cheating girlfriends that pretend to be our one and only. We blind ourselves to the truth, and we fall in love with wolves wearing sheep skins. When our eyes are finally opened, we blame the person for the things that have happened, despite the fact that we are also partly to blame. The same goes for teenagers, after watching romance movies, teenagers and couples in general believe that sex is something that must be in a relationship. They believe that it brings couples closer, and because most of their friends have done it, they are pressured into doing the same. If they don’t“give it up”, they are considered frigid. If they feel that they do not want to have sex till they get married, they are considered uncool. Sometimes they can be ostracized from the people they consider friends. They also believe that whoever it is they are going out with have to be considered “attractive” by their other friends. According to Eggermont Steven “results highlight that television viewing is related to adolescents' idea that a romantic partner needs to be attractive and have a pleasant personality. This appears to be true among both experienced and inexperienced adolescents” (p. 262).

Not only women fall into this trap, men are also susceptible to this delusion. Guys also watch movies and they see these nice calm girls that have a flat stomach, is not considered “fat”, and has just the right curves (but not too much though because that’s “fat”). It’s appalling how sometimes we consciously let these unrealistic expectations influence our decisions in choosing a partner. The guys wait for the “perfect” girl and the girls wait for the “perfect” guy, meanwhile, what they really need is right in front of them.

It is not only relationships that movies influence but also our daily decisions. Some romance movies portray colored women as loud, unproductive, and generally aggressive, and the colored guys as no-good, deadbeat men who run at the first sign of responsibility. Sometimes they even portray black guys as gangsters. We believe these stereotypes and some people try to steer clear of people that they believe are exactly like that. Sometimes a movie is acted in a third world country, like Nigeria. And because they act these films in very dirty places, people then begin to believe that Nigeria is poor, and they are so set in their beliefs that when a Nigerian tells them that what they saw wasn’t true, they still refuse to believe the truth.

To compound the problem, we have friends that tell us that what happened in the movies happened to them in real life, and that is how they found their husbands or wives and we listen because they couldn’t possibly be lying. So we pray and hope that what happened to our friends will happen to us. However, it won’t happen, because your friends might actually be lying to you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Maybe what happened to your friends actually happened, but the truth is that what happened occurs in one in a million and your friends were that one. Chances are it not going to happen again.

Not only romance movies affect us, but also action movies. Movies like Skyfall and the Blacklist have such staunch followers that sometimes these people cannot differentiate what they see in the movie from reality. These people fixate movies whether they are good or bad. They influence other people to watch these movies too, exposing others to all kinds of violence in the media. These people are very much influenced by the movies, and it is very easy for them to be manipulated. They are faithful supporters of action movies like Skyfall and the Blacklist. The staunch are people that believe the movie is more than it actually is when it is really not. Because of this, they believe that everything in the movie is real. Aside from the staunch viewers, other people that watch violent or action movies are also affected by violence they see in the media whether they realize it or not.

Watching these movies makes the men believe that they can be heroes, that they can start up a fight because someone looked at their girlfriends wrong. It can also turn good men into monsters. They can turn into people that do not know how to take care of a girl. It’s funny that after watching some very violent action movies, these people are amped up, happy, they feel on top of the world, and because they see guys beating each other to a bloody pulp on TV, they take that aggression home to their wives, or girlfriends and they unleash pain, destroying everything in their paths. It even causes people that have been friends for the longest of time to turn on each other because they are on a form of high that is there for just short period of time. Violence not only changes men, it changes women, teenagers, and children too. Because children repeat every action they see, after viewing a violent movie, they begin to show aggression as well. They become rough with their peer, when they don’t want to share, or when they don’t like another child, force is usually the first thing that comes to their mind because they have seen it happen. So they immediately act on what they have seen, causing them to injure another child.

In teenagers, the effects might be long lasting, because they too start to exhibit violent behaviors, and have violent thoughts. When they start to exhibit this, their friend egg them on telling them that it is “cool” to beat people up or to vandalize, and it is okay to act on their violent thoughts. Because teenagers mostly listen to their peers, as they want a sense of belonging, they do what their “friends” tell them. As a result, you see good kids turn into the complete opposite of who they were. If all this is left unchecked by their parents, the community, they grow up becoming criminals and dangers to the society at large.

In women, the effects are not as devastating as that of teenagers and men. Nevertheless, it makes women think that a “knight” in shining armor is going to come galloping on a horse to save them, beating everyone who wrongs their woman. It can even make women become abusive and destructive to themselves and to others. Basically, action movies can cause people to become extremely violence. A lot of research has been done on the effects or influence that violence on TV does to people. Craig and Anderson, researchers who researched extensively on violence in the media found out that the effects of watching violence in the media affects people instantly and it also has long term effect on the psyche of an individual. They stated that “Similarly, Malamuth found an increased acceptance of physical aggression toward women by college men several days after they had watched violent sex scenes” (p. 86).

After watching violent movies, researchers discovered that the hostility level of those who watch it increased. Most of them projected what they watched in the movies in real life, these people did not realize that after watching violent films they became more aggressive and were prone to assaulting people. They had begun to “display” very aggressive thoughts. People that did not view violent films displayed no signs of increased violence.

What is not surprising is the fact that we see violence in comics, movies, even newspapers. When we see violence everywhere, a part of us begins to see it as everyday life. It doesn’t really matter to us either way, and as a result we don’t mind watching violence as far as we are not face to face with. We can hide behind our screens and pretend that all is fine. We watch increased violence in the media because it is what we want. Producers realize that it is films that are filled with blood, gore, and everything disgusting that hold our attention span for long periods of time. Even Rutherford stated that the source of popularity of films like Jaws and the Exorcist is the “exquisite pleasure with the presentation of extreme violence” (p 733). She said that it seemed to take more and more violence to satisfy the public’s needs. Many adults are so used to make-believe violence that they don’t actually see anything wrong in a couple of kids watching Jaws as long as they don’t have nightmares. But they never stop to think of the emotional and psychological effects of such films in the long run. Then one day they wake up and they realize it, but it’s too late because those kids are already adults that have different perspective on how the world works.

Though watching violence in the media is not the only cause of violence in real life. Other factors and decision incite us to commit real violence. it is still a very great factor that inspires violence in real life. Bushman stated that “although exposure to violent media is not the cause of aggressive and violent behavior, it is an important risk factor that can contribute to more aggressive and violent behaviors, and fewer prosocial behavior”. Violent media increases already present aggressive behaviors and starts non aggressive ones, as a result it definitely wise to reduce our risk of exposure.

Violent media is like a slowly killing virus, first we are exposed to the virus, then we contract the virus, slowly it spreads in our body, moving to our minds and slowly turns people into mindless, rage filled monsters much like a zombie, then we begin to act on our aggressive instincts. When the virus has fully grown in our bodies and contaminated every area, we pass it on to others that are predisposed to the virus. Suddenly, the world is filled with a lot of rage filled zombies that when given an additional virus will carry gun or use our fists and wreck as much havoc as we can. To avoid this scenario, there are easy steps to reduce or even completely halt the effects of violence in the media

We can help reduce our exposure and even our children’s exposure to violence on TV by taken very simple steps. Aside from the fact that we can reduce the number of hours spent watching TV, we can also spend our time doing other things that does not involve having a TV around. Instead of playing video games, we could go out for a picnic, enjoy the real world. I always did wonder what would happen if the power turned off today and never turned back on. Where would we be? Can we even survive it? Well the answer to that question is simply to do the other simple things in live which involve not sitting in one place and staring at the screen for hours, and go out. As adults we need to cultivate a good family relationship so our younger siblings or even children, find us approachable enough to talk about what they see on TV According to Herrenkohl, Todd,

The positive effect of good family management on the behavior of youths in this study suggests that adolescents do benefit when parents actively provide supervision, set clear rules and expectations for behavior and reinforce good work habits. (p. 188)

Despite these effects, people still watch movies whether because they don’t actually care or they do not know that these changes happen when they watch movies. I am not saying that we should completely stop watching these movies. They are our source of entertainment and source of relaxation. But I believe that we can reduce the amount of time we watch action and romance movies. Aside from the fact that they influence our daily lives, they take away the amount of time we can spend with family and friends. Watching too much movies can also lead us to be very antisocial and can lead us to completely neglect the fact that there is more to life than watching the latest romance movies or even the latest action movies.

Watching a movie is fun and some of us find comfort in that. And believe it is good to find comfort in something you enjoy doing, but when we begin to substitute what we see, what we watch for the real thing, it becomes a problem for us, for our family and friends and for the society. Watching too much violence in the media can inspire real-life violence and it can lead to very dangerous situation. And watching too much romance movies can turn a person into a subservient individual that can never seem to make up their minds. It also makes a person believe that love comes to those that re meek and subservient. It can make us hope for things that are not realistically going to ever happen us. This can cause people to be angry, depressed, and even suicidal because they believe that because of who they are, they can never be loved, cherished and wanted by someone that is not their relative.

We see love on TV and we want to become that person, that girl, that guy, just because we believe that if we are ourselves we will never have what they have on TV. Watching romance movies can also turn into mean disgusting people who have no tolerance for those we do not consider “attractive” or those we consider “fat”. We laugh at these people believe that they are no good and they are not human beings. We all have to watch what we consume in the media, and realize that our brain is much like a computer and it computes everything we see and stores it for later use.

Works Cited

Allan, Jonathan A. "The Purity of His Maleness." Journal of Men's Studies 24.1 (2016): 24-41. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 July 2016.

Anderson, Craig A., et al. "The Influence of Media Violence On Youth." Psychological Science in The Public Interest 4.3 (2003): 81-110. Academic Search Premier. Web. 7 July 2016.

Bushman, Brad J., and Craig A. Anderson. "Understanding Causality in The Effects of Media Violence." American Behavioral Scientist 59.14 (2015): 1807-1821. Academic Search Premier. Web. 14 July 2016.

Browne, Kevin D., and Catherine Hamilton-Giachritsis. "The Influence of Violent Media On Children and Adolescents: A Public-Health Approach." Lancet 365.9460 (2005): 702-710. Academic Search Premier. Web. 14 July 2016.

Eggermont, Steven. "Television Viewing, Perceived Similarity, And Adolescents' Expectations of A Romantic Partner." Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media 48.2 (2004): 244-265.Academic Search Premier. Web. 10 July 2016.

Galloway, Lauren, Erika Engstrom, and Tara M. Emmers-Sommer. "Does Movie Viewing Cultivate Young People's Unrealistic Expectations About Love and Marriage?" Marriage & Family Review 51.8 (2015): 687-712. Academic Search Premier. Web. 10 July 2016.

Herrenkohl, Todd I., et al. "Protective Factors Against Serious Violent Behavior in Adolescence: A Prospective Study of Aggressive Children." Social Work Research 27.3 (2003): 179-191. Academic Search Premier. Web. 30 June 2016

Matte, Melody, and Marie-France Lafontaine. "Assessment of Romantic Perfectionism: Psychometric Properties of the Romantic Relationship Perfectionism Scale." Measurement & Evaluation in Counseling & Development (Sage Publications Inc.) 45.2 (2012): 113-132. Academic Search Premier. Web. 10 July 2016

Rutherford, John A. "Violence in the Media.” Language Arts 53.7 (1976): 793-94. Web.