Sample Literacy Narrative

Note to reader: This draft is re-printed here with the author's permission. These student drafts are provided for a couple of reasons: first, to give you a taste of the variety of topics and approaches students have taken, and second, to provide instructors with readings that might be used in class discussions and activities. These samples are not perfect and represent final grades from across the grade scale (A through F), so please be forgiving, understanding, and respectful if you find errors or problems.

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Dasya Porras

English 1010

Mike Peterson

6 September 2016

Dance Coach

I had always looked up to my teachers and coaches and hoped to one day teach and make a difference in the life of even one person but as I got to high school I realized not all of them have your best interest and influence your life for the better.

I moved to St. George when I was six and I remember going to football games at the high school with my family. During halftime we would watch the dance team, the Jetettes perform and I thought it was the coolest thing ever! I started dancing when I was eight and it was my ultimate dream to be a Jetette when I got to high school. I tried out as a freshman and was crushed when I didn't make it. I tried out again as a sophomore and finally made it! It was a dream come true for me.

Partway through my Junior year, as we were getting ready for competition season, Ms. P decided it would be a great idea to invest in a new torture device for us, neck braces. In drill competitions you have to hold your head high to look at the judges and apparently we weren’t doing that well enough. We had to hold our heads high enough so that our chins wouldn't touch the braces. We would practice our dances through a few times and if we did it well enough we got to take them off. If not we got the pleasure of keeping them on until she said we were done. It was excruciating. The sweat from our faces would drip onto our necks and seep into the fabric of the braces which rubbed against our necks causing rashes that itched and burned. The best way I can describe the smell that creeped up into our noses was that of old yogurt. absolutely repulsive. My senior year she added a couple of girls to the team who were a little over weight. She got us all notebooks and started weighing us every few weeks. While we stretched she would call us up one by one to step on the scale. The machine she used printed out a little receipt with our info and we would tape them into our notebooks so we could track our progress. If she thought a girl was "too fat" she would take them into the hall and give them guidelines on what they could/should be eating and on how to improve. I dreaded going to practice on weigh in days, terrified that she would decide to take me out in the hall and humiliate me in front of my teammates. But she never did, she always took out the same few girls and my heart broke for them each time. What is the point of picking girls for your team if you aren’t going to coach them and lift them up?

One of my teammates came crying to me one day saying Ms. P had called her into her office to tell her that she knew it was important to love her body but in her case, she shouldn't. She needed to focus on her body and lose weight. What my coach didn't know was that she had recently gained weight because her mom had gotten a better job and she was able to finally eat. The years before that she made sure her brothers ate before her because they didn't have money so there wasn't enough food to go around. My best friend, who was tiny, got obsessed with her weight and barely ate. That friend and I used to go get frozen yogurt about once a week and she adored Ms. P so we decided to take her some one day. We excitedly knocked on the door of her office anxiously waiting to surprise her. She opened the door and with giant smiles we said, “Here you go! We got you some fro yo!” she looked annoyed and said “Once on the lips, straight to the hips.”. We walked out of there feeling defeated and embarrassed not only that we had thought that was a good idea, but that we had eaten some already. I don’t know if she realized the effect she had on us or if she really didn’t care.

There were three competition dances and each girl had to try out for them because out of 21 girls only 16 made it to Military and 12 made it to dance. I tried so hard to make it into those. We had to tumble and one day as I was doing an aerial, and as I landed knee cap shifted and I fell on the ground. I was shocked and stared at my leg for a while until I started to cry. My teammates started freaking out and ran to get me ice and get help. Instead of being helpful Ms. P got upset. I couldn't walk and had to be on crutches for the school day. When I got home I laid on the couch as my mom iced and massaged my leg for me. I couldn't move my leg at all and every tiny movement was agony. I tried getting a hold of my coach but wasn't able to so we called the captains mom and told her I was hurt and couldn't move so I didn't think I would be able to make it to practice. She told me to stay home and not to worry about it. So I stayed home from practice and went to school late. Since I had gone to school and not practice she decided to punish me. She kicked me out of the military dance. I had worked hard for her for over a year and it was gone to waste over a 1.5-hour practice. I didn't understand how she could punish me over 1.5 hours when I had dedicated hundreds of hours to her and my team.

At the end of my senior year she gathered the new team together and asked me to join them. I was really confused and nervous. She had me stand in front of everyone and told them that even though I hadn’t been an officer that year that I had worked harder than the rest of the girls that were and she hoped that for the coming year the girls would be more like me. Although I was flattered and felt proud of myself but nothing she said could take back everything that had happened.

I don’t think too much about what happened because it’s in the past but the lasting effects of it haven’t worn off. I struggle daily with being happy with myself and my body; something that is very common amongst dancers. I’m the type of person that always trusts and believes the best in people but sometimes I'm proven wrong. Even though she did her best to tear me down it didn’t stop me from giving my best and succeeding. Coaches might be there to coach us along but it’s ultimately up to us to work hard and achieve our greatest potential.