"[It's] a spiritual test to accept my own deserving."
DEBBIE MILLMAN EXERCISE:
Write a day in your life 10 years from now
One of the highest impact activities I did at #SlayCamp was a writing exercise led by Debbie Millman.
Here's the prompt:
"Write a day in your life 10 years in the future, as if you are doing everything you wanted to do. "
Here's a link to a podcast interview where Debbie discusses a version of this exercise. Starts at time stamp 01:28:03 (The Tim Ferriss Show, Episode 214, Jan. 12, 2017)
Debbie has also designed a set of gorgeous cards (we got a preview!) with specific prompts for this exercise, available for pre-order here and many other places books are sold
Sitting down for a few hours to write this out clarified several aspects about how I want to live my life and gave me new insights about my professional goals and trajectory.
ROXANE & TRESSIE'S REFLECTIONS
on what they have learned & are learning about themselves
Roxane
On her tendency to overcommit, taking on too many paid projects: As a Black writer currently getting more opportunities than before, she worries, "When will I stop being the flavor you want?"
On pauses after big projects: "[Writing] Hunger took a lot out of me."
Starting another book is a big lift. RG's working on several TV projects now. Whitney: This made me reflect on diversifying the kind of work one does, especially after a big intensive lift on one type of project
Tressie is often told that she projects confidence, but she (like all of us) has her own challenges
Even Tressie gets intimidated by projects: "Intimidation is a stage [in the writing process] and part of the process." [Whitney: She referenced a Twitter thread she wrote on this topic. Tag me on Twitter if you know it.]
Questions/insights that come with more resources and successes, like her New York Times column, etc.
"Am I better at struggling?"
"[It's] a spiritual test to accept my own deserving."
"Turning over control [of some parts of the work process] is hard."
Both Roxane and Tressie
Emphatically: "You are not responsible for the reception of your work [by others]"
Getting access to the kind of privilege they're up close with now can be seductive -- or radicalizing!
Realizing the extent of the inequity we all are facing is accompanied by: 1) delayed grief and 2) anger
Speaking up: "I'd rather be afraid [about speaking up] than panicked about what I didn't say."
SELF-CARE: BURN-OUT & RESETS
"Creative energy is the first thing to go [in crisis times, e.g., COVID, political crises]. But these are the times we need [creativity] the most."
For those considering a life overhaul, Tressie advises first trying to tweak rather than completely overhaul your life
Make some small revisions, a 10% or 30% change versus 100% overhaul
"Pay attention to what you do naturally" (Whitney editorializing: and go towards more of that? my notes are incomplete here)
A challenge to tweaking: "It can take as much courage to make a small change as a big change." We are more attracted to big changes because we want the outcome to match that courageous energy.
Boundaries as a life practice (Whitney: Tressie M C mentioned a conversation with Kiese Laymon. I think she meant this one this one, but I'm not sure: this is actually more relevant to revision as a life practice, which is discussed above)
Roxane's life advice for self-care
Schedule [recurring] time to read
Schedule [recurring] time to rest
Schedule [recurring] time for creativity
Roxane on the importance of leisure/play/unremunerated pleasure: "You cannot professionalize all your interests. Professionalizing every aspect of your joy will make you miserable."