DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK: Historic resurgence results in new Movie League champion
March 17th, 2009
After coming up just short for two consecutive years, Team Darcy finally reached the promised land, capturing its first Movie League title following a stirring come-from-behind victory of historic proportions. Team Joel's extraordinary rookie year in the Movie League ended on a slightly sour note when its roster, starring the most prolific scorer in Movie League history (The Dark Knight) was by edged out at the finish line by Team Darcy's vaunted line-up of Oscar bait in the closest race in the three year history of the self-proclaimed Greatest Fantasy League in the world. In the race for third, Team Victor staged a comeback of its own, riding the crest of a wave of critical support for mid-season replacement Slumdog Millionaire to leap over Team ACD for its second Top 3 finish in as many years.
Team Darcy's comeback capped what many objective observers were calling the most exciting Movie League season ever. Shortly after the victory was confirmed, the Commissioner's Office issued the following statement:
"Congratulations to Team Darcy in finally showing that perseverance and dedication to the ideal that a Movie League team built on quality, and not quantity, can be successful in the Greatest Fantasy League in the world. It gives hope to all those teams who have been forced to compromise their ideals and opt for lesser quality fare featuring zombies, vampires, and Jason Statham to win the crown. We look forward to another great year of intense competition and box office surprises."
For the third consecutive year, the team with the first overall pick in the draft failed to finish in the money. While Team Jeremy/Mei's selection of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was applauded on draft night, its box office take was dwarfed by The Dark Knight and team's lack of an Oscar contender hampered any chance of a late season surge. While praised for the insight to make the late round selection of Twilight, the team's brain trust was equally castigated for banking on Nicolas Cage's unfortunate hair and wooden acting in the early selection of the critical and financial albatross known as Bangkok Dangerous. The Jekyll and Hyde like performance has prompted league sources to hope that more consistency is in the team's future.
While the final results were not unexpected going into Oscar night, they certainly were mildly surprising to those pundits that rushed to place the championship belt around the waste of Team ACD. Powered by the one-two summer blockbuster punch of Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda, the league's only three-headed management team raced out to a commanding early lead, and seemed to cement its grip on a Top 3 finish by astutely acquiring the comic book adaptation The Spirit following its re-scheduled release date. Buoyed by the early coronation by the prognosticators, Team ACD seemed content to rest on its laurels and coast to the finish line. By the time the critical and financial disaster of The Spirit was unmasked, Team ACD was left playing the hare to the three tortoises of Teams Joel, Darcy and Victor.
Speaking of critical and financial disasters, Team Stephanie continued its run of futility in the Movie League with an ignominious end to the season that saw the perennial basement dwellers finish more than 1000 points out of the first spot, with only 8 of its potential 10 movies seeing release during the year. While the team's management has been steadfast in its commitment to building a successful team through zombie movies and critical laughingstocks, league observers are questioning whether the Commissioner's Office should consider radical steps to level the playing field. While representatives from the Commissioner's Office have declined comment on the record, an anonymous league source has confirmed that the Commissioner's Office has requested increased scrutiny on Team Stephanie's draft behavior next year. This unique step is undoubtedly in response to concern regarding the competitive balance of the league, with critics pointing to the folding of Team Tim/David after only one year of league play. For the record, the Commissioner's Office has downplayed the winding up of the team and attributed it to embarrassment for finishing only 100 points ahead of Team Stephanie in the standings.
Conspicuous by its absence from the Top 3 was Team Tony, which finished a distant sixth place after suffering the crippling fate of losing its marquee performer, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, to a controversial and surprising release date change by Warner Brothers. The latest installment of the blockbuster franchise was eliminated from contention after having its release date moved from November 2008 to July 2009, and is expected to be chosen near the top of the first round of the 2009 draft. The move effectively put an end to Team Tony's hopes of continuing its dynasty of Movie League titles, and has prompted the league's competition committee to seriously consider a revision to the rules surrounding such studio moves in the future.
The next season of the Movie League is expected to begin in late March.