my love life

Post date: Oct 15, 2009 8:24:22 AM

My first love & last love ( 15/01/2016 - 22/07/2016 )

We can see give below :- (Ro-Shani)

Shivamsingh163248.belogspot.in Part –iii date- 22/07/2016

( Love is a language, we can under stand all ,)

-: Never ignore a person who love u , care for you , because one day , you might wakup and relize :-

Usaka nam , usaki har khushi , usaki bat , usaki andaj , usaki ak musakan , mere liye ab ak sapna sa ban chuka h , ..usaki yade me khoye rahana ak lmaha sa ban chukka h meri ak tanhai usaki yade ban chuki h . is khoye khoye se palo me bus usi ki yad aati h . jo ab itani dur ho chuki h ki usake pas jana ak dar sa lagta h . kaise dillagi ho gyi ak pather dil se . ki usake liye pyar ka matlab samjhana muskil ho gayi h

Kaise mai is tanhai ko dur karu samjh me nahi aata . kaise o mere dil ke ander sama gayi samjh me nahi aata . is ak chote se dino ki bat mere liye ak tanhai ban si gayi . kaise bat karu usase samjh me nhi aata . mere liye ak choti si judai ak pyar ki nishani ban gayi.

Usaki bato ko bhulana mere liye mushakil nahi namunkin sa lgta h . usaki yaade mere liye ak judai sa lagta h . yah ak chota sa note mai apne liye chod ja rah hu . jisako yad kar mere palace bhig jate h . mai usasi se pyar karna chahta hu jo mujhase pyar kare . ak choti si jindagi ne yah khel mere sath bhi khela . jisako aj tak hum bhula na sake.

Samay ne mujhko kaha se kaha khada kar ke raha diya . jindagi ke is bhag dauan ne kha se kha la diye . mere liye pahale vala din hi kade accha tha . jo mai akele tanhai me apne ap me khoya rahta tha . yah mera akela pan ak tanhai si ban chuki h . bus mai chahta hu koi is meri jindagi ka satha nibhaye.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- usaki aavaj ko n bhula sake jo hame sabse pyari lagti thi . usaki bato ko n bhula sake jisame pyar huaa karta tha . usaki mushkan na bhula sake jisame meri khushi huaa karti thi . usake har yado ka hishab ab mere dil me h . kambbat mere dil ne kaise usase dilagi kar baitha . usako to mere dil ke sath khelane ki adat thi .

Vah meri mushakan ka ak hissa ban chuki thi. Chahata tha dekhana mai khush use . duaa karta tha kuda se bus usake liye . jo meri nahi ab usaki ban chuki thi. Mere pyar kya kami thi mujhe pata nahi . ya use pyar k o pahchanane adat nahi . o mere pyar ko pahchan n payi . nahi aj o usaki nahi meri hoti . Mere pyar ko samjhna itan bhi musakil nahi . jo usako samjh na aaye

O meri jindagi si ban chuki thi . o meri tanhai ka ak hissa sa ban chuki thi . usako bhul pana mere liye musakil nahi mamunkin sa lagta h . kyo ki o mere is choti si jindagi ka hissa ban chuki thi .

tujako manana to mujhako aata nahi . per ye nahi ki tujhe mai chahta nahi . vakta badala se h jara sa mai kaise tujako bat mai ye samjhau . kaise khush tumko rakhu nahi pata .

per chahta hu tere labo pe hashi. Usaki har khushi me meri bhi kushi thi . jab tu milana chahe. Na mil saku. Na milana mera koi duri nahi . mujako aihsas h per mai usako kahta nahi aur pas mai usake jata nahi .

mai use jab- jab heart karta tha . usake andar mera ak pyar chupa tha . jo o dekh hi nahi pati thi. Aur usase jada dukh hamko hota tha . jo thi kabhi mere muskarane ki vajah . aj usaki kami mere palko ko bhiga teti h . kabhi mai dur nahi hone dena chahta tha apni aakho ki palko se . sayad mai usi liye usako heart karta tha . sayad khuda ki marji thi jo hamko is moda pe lake khada kar diya . jo hamne khud ko tanhai ke samandar me dubo liya. Sukun maine apne dil ka kho diya . jab mai usase ak pal dur ho ta tha to aisa lagta ki usko dekhe aur usase mile ak javana sa ho gaya .

mere gam ka koi andaj nahi . jisaka hisab n kuda ke pas h n mere pas . udashi aj bhi mere chehare pe jhalkati h . lekin ab dard me ab muskurana bhi sikha gaya hu mai . bus mai apne ap se rutha huaa hu . aur is tanhai ki jindagi me andar se tuta huaa hu .

Uski bat hame kabhi nahi bhulti jo aj tak hamne ki bus vahi bate bar bar yad aati h . ye yade sach mai bahut tarsati h . bus abhi bhi baithe h unaki yado me . bus un yado ko ak panno me chupa rahe h . aisa lagta h ki dard hi sahi mere isk ka inam to aaya . mai hu bevfa sabko bataya usane . u hi shi usake labo pe mera nam to aaya.

Aisa lagta h ki mai usake bevfai me divana ho gaya . mere liye ye duniya sari begani ho gayi h bus kuda se mera ak hi saval rahega ., mere sath hi aisa kyo kiya. Is choti si jindagi me gam ke aalava kuch abhi tak n mila . bus mai ghut ghut ke ji raha hu . is akele pan ko kaise dur karu samjh me nahi aata .

Is duniya me jise pyar o milta nahi . yah duniya ka sabse badha dastur h . sayad yah meri pariksha ki gadhi h . JO HOTA H O NAHI HOTA , JO NAHI HOTA VAHI HOTA H . use lagta tha mai usase love nahi karta , lekin mai real me karta tha , jo so karta hoga , real me o nahi karta h . yah ak choti si logic h jo sabko nahi samjh me aane vali .

O meri first love thi aur last love bhi vahi rahe gi mere aur usake bich me koi aur nahi aa sakta . o mere sath ho ya na ho mai usake gum me ji luga . lekin koi aur nahi ho sakta . anjane u hi dil gava baihe . is pyar mai kaise dokha kha baithe . unse kya gila kare bhul to hamari thi . jo bina dil vale ko dil gava baithe .

Maguga kuda se bus ak hi chij . diya hota ak sachhi mohhabt ki dastan . jise mai rakh saku apni puri jindaji me . mohhabt karke dil rota h . dard ka aihshash tab hota h . jab unake dil me koi aur hota h . aayi thi jab o meri jindagi me ak badi dastan leke . tab usaki bato ne mujhe beparvana kar diya.unaki bato se kar baitha mai unse dillagi . per bhul to hamri thi mai samjh n paya unake dil ko .ki unake undar mere liye jagah kya thi .

Bata diya tha maine usake bare me apne apne bahiyo se . dikha diya tha pic apne mother india ko . meri bahne janane lagi thi use . per ye samay tune kya kiya . dur kar diya tune mujhako usase . kyo man liya bat maine usaki . jo chahta tha dur karna tujhako mujhse . mai use bhuluga nahi ,jo juda kiya tujhko muhse .le ke rahuga ak din badala .mai ye bhuluga bat nahi.

Kitana mohbbat karata tha mai unse . n bata paya unako . chahane laga tha use dil se . per usaki bato paya. Pahale hi samjh liye hota uski bato ko to na dillagi ki hoti unase . pahale na kiya tha maine unse mohhbat .mohhbat ho gaya mujhako usase pata n chala khud ko . mai kab laga sochne usake bare me .bus ab satati h usaki yad . n thi o meri pahale vali roshani . badal chuki ab thi o lagta h aisa . kyo ki ho gaye the unake chahane vale adhik . o hame n bhulti to aur kya karti .

Hui thi meri dosti sabse pahale unake dosto se. n bat kiya tha maine isase pahle kisi se . tej hoti thi meri heart bit jab mai bat karta tha usase . lagta tha aisa ki mai galta kar raha hu bat karke . dubo raha hu jindagi ko apne samander me . sayad sahi tha mai yah ape . per ho gaya tha andha unake pyar me . pahale hoti thi nafrat insab bato se . us samay janta n tha love ki ABCD.

Jab- jab o hoti thi mere samne . tej hoti thi meri heart bit kyo hota tha mere sath aisa. Jab – jab hota tha unake sath milata tha ak ko sukun . lekin dil hota tha samaya ak dar . us samay ho gaya tha pya unase . unake bina jindagi suni si lagti thi . har pal adhuri sa lagta tha . ab o pal jindagi me mehman sa lagta h .

Pana chahta hu chtkara is jindagi se . kuch karna chahta hu is jindagi me . dikhana chahta hu kuch ban ke. Kamana chata hu nam . bus pnana chahta hu to bus USAKO ONLY USAKO. Jo ab dur ho gayi h kai mil hamse . bus bat karana chahta hu ak bar . manana chahta hu usako . batata chata hu vh puri bat jo aj tak na bataya kisi se . o bahut karib ho gayi mere dil se . per usako dur jade time na laga . meri is jindagi se .

Mai banana chahata hu sabse alag . rahana chahta hu sabse alag . kuch kar na chahta hu sabse alag. Akele rahana meri tanhai si ban chuki thi . bus dar itana tha ki kahi mai is tanhai ki duniya mai kho na jau .kyo ki bahut dur ja chka tha usase . rahana chahta tha ak sanskar me . karana chahta hu seva apne mom and ded ka . per nashib o bhi nahi kyo mai thahara itana dur apne parivar se.

Ab mai karta hu keval question apne ap se . kya vahi h bus jindagi me tumare liye . lekin mai sunata hu apne dil ka lekin karta hu kam apne dimak se . bus vahi dikhai deti h mujhko . lagta hai aisa na tha koi usake aalava mere liye . abhi to dekha h bus usane mera pyar . gusse me mai khud bhul jata hu apne ap ko .

Chahte huai bhi n bhul pa raha hu usako . kyo aati h yad usaki . kyo puchta rahata hu usake bare me dusare se . kyo sochta rahata hu usake bare me . kyo nid nahi aati . lagta h aisa nahi bhul pauga mai usako chah ke bhi . nahi manta h mera dil . khuda ne aisa dil hi kyo banaya jipe control na ho .

Hota aishash apne akele pan ka . aati h yad us akele pan me usaki . chahta hu mai usako apne ap se jada. Chah ke bhi nahi bat kar pa raha usase . ak dar sa lagta h usase .darane ki adat nahi mujhko .bus mai sahbhalana chahta hu apnea p ko .(DAR USI SE LAGTA JISASE PYAR HOTA H)

Usane chupai hai kai sari bate .kai bar boli h jht hamse kyat hi yah usaki . phitarat ya adat mai janta . janta hu mai bus itana ki aadat thi usako dusaro ki maja lene ki pata nahi kyo pasand thi vahi mujhe. Chahta tha banana use sathiya apne jindagi ka. Yahi bat lekar mai bhul bhi nahi pa raha hu . h mere pas pchala sara record jo pale bita chukka hu usake sath rakha un panno ke bich . jise dekh kar milta h dil ko ak sukun sa.

Nid nahi aati h rato h . jab se usaki pic dekha n lu ak bar . hoga aihash ak din use mere pyar ka .hota kya h love . aj bhi mai soya nahi hu rat bhar . likha rahu apni ak choti si kahani ka ak pal jo gujar gayi h mere sath . aj bhi soch raha hu usi ke bare me . aakhir me o hogi kish dasha me . jab se hui h o mujhase dur n rat ka pata chlata h n hi din ka . rat – din kab gujar jati h usaki yado me . n man lagta h koi kam karne me . bus aati h yad to usaki .samjh me ahi aata karu to karu kya . adhuri si ho gayi jindagi usake bina.

Chata tha mai batana usako bahut kuch . per na diya mauka usane kuch batane ke liye mujhko . kahna chata tha bhaut kuch .per dhokha diya samay ne mujhako . na mai kar saka kuch usake liye . karta tha pyar usako .chahta tha karna usako pyar. Per mai kuch kar na saka . o din nahi bhulata jo bit chukka h .

Mai galta tha . karke vishvash dusare pe . pachta raha hu soch ke vah yad .jo hui thi mere sath . n maine mani hoti usaki bat to aj hoti o mere pas.is jindagi ne humko begana bana diya .mai to lut gaya hu apnea p se . pareshan ho gaya hu is gindagi se. bus sochta hu karne ki susite. Meri badnashibhi o bhi n kar sakta . kahne lagege log ki har gaya o apni gindai se . mai to phash ke rah gaya is is jindagi ke majedhar me.

Nahi mai dekhta aj bhi use n milta sukun mere dil ko . dekh leta hu mai usako .per sayad o nahi janti ki mai dekhleta hu usako . Maine usake bare me sunu thi bahut sari bate . . lekin n kiya vishavash dushre ki bato pe . mujhe hamesh dar laga rahta tha kahi dur na chali jay o mujhase. Sayad ishiliye bola karta tha bat bat pe . ak bar pyar se kah ke dekhti jan bhi hajir tha usake liye . per ye jab dil tuta to chur- chur hogaya.

O ban chuki thi meri ak khushi. Jab jab mai use dekhata tha to ak khusi si hoti thi. To sayad o meri muskan bhi ban chuki thi . use laga bat bura. Jo batyi h usaki frindas usako .o bat kitana sahi tha kitana galat mai khud n jan saka . bus dekhna chahta hu usaki labo pe hasi .o kya sochati thi mere bare me mai nahi janta .

Aakhe nam hoti h purani bato ko soch ke . yadi o kahe to mai haste haste mar jau. Mai nhi banana chahta kisi aur ko . mai kisi aur ko usaka asthan nahi dena chata . o mere sapno hamesh basti rahegi .o mere yado aur khayalo hamesha rahegi .

Bus meri ak iccha ti mai usse bat karna chata tha per o bhai n kar saka. Ye mere nashib me n tha .kuda o kisamt kya chij ho ti chahe to kisi ko upar pahucha de . chahe to niche

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------usaki ak hashi , usaki ak pyar si muskan jo dil chu leti h . i mai ne kiya h intzar usaka har pal . lekin tu bin jindagi suni si lagti h . anjane me yu hi dil gava baithe tumse . is pyar me kaise dokha kha baithe . unse kya gila kare bhul to hamari thi .jo bina dilvalo se dil laga baite.

O barish ki sam . o rate , o pale ., o yade ..o bate … o stha bitaya huaa lamha kya kya yad karu …. Yad karke ak sukun sa milata h …hamko is ak choti si jindgi me ak chota sa pay r bhi n mil saka . Bus mai chahta hu yahi kahana tere isk me mai ji raha, soya bhi tere isk me, hashan bhi tere isak, me, ashash tujhe bhi mere pyar ka hoga ak din. maine usake har ak bat ka man rakha h

I don,t forgut my first love yadi usaka bhi yah first love raha hoga to o mujhe yad karegi ..abi to usaki pahachan baki h yadi vha sach me acchi h to ak bar hame vah jarur yad kare gi … (next part)……….

Yadi o hame dobara mil jaye to mai likha duga ak novel usake liye……………………………………………………….

-:::::::: I.L.U. ::::::::-

Next part - iv start date :- 01/08/2016