I grew up in a low-income, overpopulated, and underserved community. The rent for our house was subsidized and the meals that we ate came from the food stamps that my mom received. Sometimes we ate at the local soup kitchen just so that we could stretch the stamps for the entire month. Most of my life was spent within the failing walls of the Cincinnati Public School system; like in many districts around the country, whitewashed curriculum was being shoved down my throat by my mostly white teachers, but I knew that there had to be more. While teachers were undoubtedly qualified, I’m sure the rigor of large class sizes, yelling youth, constant lesson planning and every changing curriculum to meet the culturally bias assessment goals assisted in burning them out. I’d bet that many of my grade school educators lost sight of the passion that once drove them to pursue a career in education once they entered the chaotic realm also called the public school system.During my second year of graduate school, I took a class in classroom management. As a first-year teacher and an eager researcher, I was extremely curious to know what would be covered in a classroom management course. As a teacher, I had the ability to tryout each of the techniques that were provided so that I could measure for its effectiveness. During this course, we spoke of managing kids and not managing the spaces in which students occupy which I found to be particularly interesting. The one strategy that resonates with me is this idea of leading by example and modeling the behavior that you would like to see in your students. When we pull apart this idea of modeling our expectations, we must reflect on what it is that we are modeling exactly.While at times, silence may be necessary, is it always required? When analyzing this idea of modeling expectations, we must remember that culturally and linguistically, these students may be diverse. Some of the examples of expectations that are modeled are: being silent and doing your work, being prepared for class, and lining up quietly and neatly. Each student that enters our classroom has their own story and we are not taught to first ask them what is wrong? Not only do we ignore their individual circumstances but, we are not taught that students in under resourced communities may not fit into this classroom management mode that had been developed. In fact, the inability to manage these issues and the classroom space and instead manage the kids can cause issues. Additionally, the absences of teaching “culture setting” may be to our detriment. Teachers must create a culture that in inclusive, contains boundaries and is warm for all students. The absence of these thing makes it impossible to manage any classroom however, that isn’t what we learned, and I learned that through my own early schooling experience.During the summer of my eighth-grade year, I was a part of a camp that promotes STEM education for young ladies. This was not my first year in this program, however, this was the first time I had interacted with an educator who felt as though I was “exceptional”, and not in the way that would constrict me to containment classes like many educators before her had suggested due to my “unacceptable” behavior. I can remember “ear hustling” when she was talking with my mom about how well I was doing. She told my mom that she should consider enrolling me in Mount Notre Dame High School and taking advantage of the scholarships that they had to cover tuition. Lucky (or unlucky) for me, that’s exactly what she did. I spent the first quarter of my freshmen year getting acclimated to the competitive environment of private school and to my surprise, even more whitewashed curriculum. I then spent the next three quarters keeping my head above water, praying for at least a B. I had never had to take a religion course let alone did I understand it and I had never attended a church ceremony in which my Jesus was said to have been white. Not to mention in US History, we focused on colonizers as heroes and in protest, I did just the bare minimum. In the middle of my freshman year my mother became very ill, and she decided that going back to a public school close to my siblings was much more ideal for our situation. I finished my freshman year and even began my sophomore year at Mount Notre Dame. Around November of my sophomore year, my mom enrolled me into the then Western Hills Design Technology High School. The atmosphere was completely different and that education that I received was nothing like what I had spent the previous 18 months enduring. The whitewashed curriculum remained similar but without the additional rigor, and the staff was not nearly as homogenous, for the first time in my life I had several black and brown teachers.During biology at MND we dissected frogs and created cells out of common household items, and until they switched my schedule at Western Hills, I was sitting in a class where biology was taught strictly out of a book. They were the same standards but different approaches to get us to demonstrate mastery. I was extremely disappointed in the education I was receiving because I knew that somewhere else, the curriculum while not culturally relevant, was much more engaging, challenging and fun. It was at this point in my life that I wanted to know why there was such a disparity in the education I received from public schooling and the education I received from private schooling. I began to question the very design of the curriculum and whether it was inclusive of Black and Brown students.I understand that education is more than just managing spaces but also the information that is taught, so I enrolled into a Curriculum Design and Assessment class. During this class, we were taught how dissect state standards and create performance-based objectives with lesson plans to ensure that they align. While in class, we never learned how to incorporate culturally relevant details as we created standard aligned lesson plans. This allows students to be engage in the material more authentically and in turn allows them to succeed.At my senior graduation, there were exactly 72 graduates. The valedictorian of our class had a 5.4 weighted GPA and 17 ACT score. The salutatorian followed behind closely with a 5.37 weighted GPA and a 17 ACT score. I was third in my class with a 3.75 unweighted GPA, and a 26 ACT score. Every semester, the school held an awards assembly and at one they gave me $75 for having the highest ACT score in our building. There were at least 140 individuals in my class at that point, and we repped our class proudly. Crazy enough, a 26 was the average score for my Mount Notre Dame friends. When I went to the MND graduation, there were every bit of at least 350 graduates. It was at the conclusion of those graduations that I wanted to know why Mount Notre Dame was graduating five times more students than West High. Why were the start to completion numbers so drastically different and why was my ACT score so much higher than my public-school peers even though I had only a year and a quarter of private school exposure? I wondered if it was the teacher accountability measures that forced public school educators to teach students to do well on a test as opposed to actually teaching them for their betterment. I wondered if my educational privilege was a byproduct of some sort of assimilation into the dominant culture as I regurgitated facts yet lacked social emotional well rounding. My grades and scores were good, but I struggle to maintain my identity as I watched black and brown girls around me straighten their hair until the ends were burnt, just to fit in.During my early college years while I was taking a “break”, I accepted a job as the program coordinator at one of the Boys and Girls Clubs in Cincinnati. I didn’t actually apply for this job, it found me. I had never gone to a Boys and Girls Club and I vaguely knew what their mission was. However, my supervisor convinced me that I would be a natural at it and that some of my core values aligned perfectly with that of the clubs. During my tenure at the club I wore an infinite number of hats beyond what was in my job description including academic advisor, tutor, hair stylist, college and career advisor, coach, resource finder, therapist, cook, mom, disciplinarian, mentor, emergency contact, nurse, aunt, motivator, accountability partner, planner, the list could go on. As after-school staff, we were responsible for impacting each and every student that entered the building. We were responsible for helping them achieve graduation despite the odds stacked against them. We were responsible for exposing the youth to something different. We discouraged teen pregnancy by providing sexual education, we encouraged vocational schooling and high paying jobs in addition to college. We set a standard and challenged each of our youth to meet it, teens and all, most years they did. I remember at one of our teens “pow wows” one of our students saying that another Cincinnati Public School had graduated 20 seniors. That was outrageous to me, I didn’t understand.It was at this time in my life that I reflected on everything I had gone through, classes I had taken and didn’t take and the questions I had. It was at this point that I wanted to know if I could’ve helped increase those numbers and wondered where all the students were. I wanted to know if it was the teachers or the culture of their classrooms that determined student outcomes. What did we have at our clubs that was absent at their schools, and it hit me; At the clubs, we highlight education and social emotional practices? We were a staff of very diverse individuals whose goal was to simply empower our students to empower themselves.I took several classes in various disciplines because of my need to understand the statistics and impact. I took classes on child abuse, psychology, substance dependency, sociology, criminal justice, political science, etc. You name it, I probably took it. At the University of Cincinnati, I appeared lost and unsure of myself, and I’ll admit that at the time I was. I found myself dropping out of UC because even though I had taken all of those classes, I still was not on a track to graduation. I knew that there were at least 240 eyeballs watching me and 240 ears listening to what I was saying. During my very first academic advising meeting, the gentleman asked me what my career aspirations were, so I told him. I told him that I wasn’t exactly sure, however, I knew that I wanted to work towards a degree that allowed me to serve low income youth. I told him that I wanted to change the trajectory of their lives and set an expectation while being an example. He immediately told me to wait in his office because he felt as though there was someone else more equipped to handle my diverse disciplinary background and goals. He was right. He introduced me to Amanda, the academic advisor for Integrative Studies and suddenly, everything made sense.During my first Integrative Studies class, Dr. Steve Watkins went on about the complexity of our society and the demand for interdisciplinary thinkers. All of that time I thought that I was lost and confused, but I wasn’t. I was searching for an interdisciplinary approach to maximizing the way that we serve low income youth. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Integrative Studies where I focused on psychology, criminal justice and organizational leadership. Each focus being equally important for my mission. I wanted to understand the way that the brain developed and the way that different things promote growth and skills. I wanted to know how to navigate the criminal justice system since many of the youth had a parent that was incarcerated. Additionally, I wanted to prevent youth from entering the system and prevent recidivism as much as I could. Finally, I wanted to ensure that I had the leadership skills and competencies to complete the tasks that were before me.Though I had successfully obtained that degree, it still was not enough. I decided that earning a master’s degree was the next thing I needed to do in order to really be impactful in the lives of the youth I serve. I enrolled in the Master of Integrative Studies program at Northern Kentucky University because at this point, I have learned that complexity is my niche. I decided to obtain a Nonprofit Management certificate while also taking even more classes about education. Merging public administration and education with the background that I already have is the missing piece I feel I need to really answer all of the questions that I have. As a nonprofit leader in the youth development realm, it is crucial that I understand the way nonprofits operate and I understand the ins and outs of our educational system and the way they affect youth in low-income areas. For the last year, I have spent my time as a special education teacher in the poorest community of Memphis, Tennessee. The classist divide is extremely apparent yet, my students are grateful for even the smallest of things that they receive. Statistically, Memphis is a predominantly black city, and it is apparent in the classrooms. Our entire school staff is black, from the principal to the custodians. I am witnessing firsthand the impact that black teachers have on black student success. Some of my friends who teach at neighboring school are submerged in more diverse environments and their frustration tends to mimic mine but for very different reasons. While I entered the doors believing that race was the biggest factor in limiting SEL development of black students in wake of racially motivated events, I have quickly concluded that it’s not always a racial divide, sometimes it’s a cultural divide.As a result of my experiences and education, I am committed to understanding the relationship that exists between low-income minority students, race, culture, and educators. I want to understand the disparity that exists in the educational system and understand the various drivers that contribute to youth either graduating or dropping out. I would like to understand the effects that positive student and teacher interactions has on making education more engaging while keeping youth motivated to complete school at higher rates and be prepared for college. I’m curious to know whether I am more established than my old public-school classmates because of my one year in private schooling and the lady that believed and still believes in me. If it weren’t for strong desire to avoid public assistance, would I continue to perpetuate a standard of mediocracy? Had I not been exposed to the variation that lies within the different school systems; would this passion burn so deep inside of me? Regardless of the answer to all these questions, things must change, even if it requires transdisciplinarity. Reference:
(n.d.). Our Club Kids. Retrieved from https://bgcgc.org/our-club-kids