Likes/Dislikes/Kinks & Whatnot

I take part in Charity Auctions a lot and sometimes make private fanfic or fanvid requests in a few places, so rather than having to explain my likes/dislikes/kinks/etc to everyone I figured I'd just throw them all together in one place and link people to it.
[Sorry for the long and detailed list, but I've made a LOT of donations for fic over the last seven years of charity auctions and while I do NOT begrudge any of those worthy and generous donations at all, I will say that I have been defaulted on about 90% of them and hope is very thin on the ground with me fic-wise, these days *sigh* which is why I stopped donating for fanfic in charity auctions as of this year]

I am willing to commission any writer who offers to write any of my favourite fandoms for me tho?
All I ask is that the fanfic be kept private for my reading only!

I freely admit that I am OCD about my OTPs and what makes me happy in a fanfic, and I will apologise up front about how incredibly irritating I will most likely be if anyone does offer to write something *facepalm facepalm facepalm* please accept my heartfelt apologies and gratefulness if you still want to go ahead with your offer...favourite fandoms/pairings are in the "Fanfic Wishlist" in the link above.

~ I know that this might grate on most fanfic writes but I'd like to ask that any fanfic I request is private? All this means is that I am the only person allowed to read it and it does not get posted publically. Beta readers are fine because I know writers like to use them, but other than that, it is a special story written for my eyes only.

~ No First Person POV...I just can't read it, it does my head in :(

I really love getting snailmail, so if you want to write something for me and put it in a card, or a letter, or even a notebook/journal, that would be SO awesome *flail* I'm happy to give my postal address to anyone who wants it :)

~ Rating...that is entirely up to the writer but I'm happy with anything from "Gen" cuddling to "R" graphic sex. Altho, given a choice, I'd rather read some angsty hurt/comfort than pornographic sex, if that helps your decision any?

~ Things I love to read include "team as family", cuddling, full-body holding, happy endings, angsty fluff/schmoop, married by mistake/accident/drunken stupidity/etc, near-deaths causing realisations of love, hospital bed vigils, sharing of hospital beds, random domestic cuteness, fics which involve knitting (the more unlikely the person the better, ie badass soldiers who can knit baby booties *LOLs*), etc

~ My favourite thing of all is hurt/comfort!
Any hurt/comfort is good hurt/comfort but only when applied to the "second" name in any pairing/threesome!
Including...broken bones, temporary or permanent deafness and/or blindness, being unable to speak/mute from either injury or illness, severe concussions/nausea, broken ribs, stabbings, punctured/collapsed lung (being unable to breathe), being hit by a car, fever, hypothermia (with cuddling for warmth), being shot, ​electrocution, asthmatic, panic attacks, ​massive facial brusing (black eye, bloody nose, etc), near death in the form of almost drowning or being trapped somewhere airless and someone else having to breathe for them (ie ​Tomb Raider movie, ​Due South "Mounty on the Bounty" and White Collar "Out of the Box")...etc etc etc...injury suggestions are always welcome! I have a particular weakness for any hero who loses a leg in some way (Daniel Jackson = Stargate Continuum ; Peeta Mellark = The Hunger Games ; John Kennex = Almost Human)

~ Things I cannot ever read!!!...rape/non-con/dub-con/rough sex, jealousy, betrayal, unfaithfulness, sad endings, dark fic, traumatically angsty fic, graphic torture, sexual kinks (I'll list these at the end of the page), deathfic (unless immediately rescucitated). I'm really pretty vanilla so if you're not sure about something just ask, I'm here to help.

~ I lovelovelove Harlequin AUs, they are the best type of AU ever!

~ I also have serious height!kink *LOL* tall/short is one of my favourite things, which goes a long way to explaining some of my pairings ;)

~ Epic plots where a group of soldiers or anyone else has to protect a single person and get them somewhere in order to save the world!!! (ie The Hobbit, Transformers, Doctor Who "Time of Angels"/"Flesh & Stone", Clash of the Titans, Battle Los Angeles, etc etc etc!)
Also known as the Escort Mission trope, the Live Action Escort Mission trope (Our intrepid team has been tasked with a simple mission: Get "important person or item" from point A to point B), and sometimes combined with Protection Mission and/or Hold The Line tropes if trapped in one place (yes, I do love TV Tropes *LOL*)

~ I love Disaster movie plots (ie earthquake, storm or snowstorm, hurricane, trapped in the middle of a bank robbery, vocanic eruptions, pandemics, zombie apocalypses, anything post-apocalyptic, etc etc etc, they're all great! When Worlds Collide is a particular favourite :)

~ The "Princess Carry" (I do so love the sight of a wounded vulnerable hero being carried in someone's arms *siiiiiiigh*) but basically any storyline with a "mansel in distress" makes me extremely happy :D

~ I mentioned above, this is up to the comfort zone of the writer but I will say that I like shower!sex, handjobs, vanilla sex, and when it comes to who "bottoms" (ie, the person being penetrated), I will always want that to be the second name in any pairing, no exceptions to the rule.
Squicks: rape/non-con/dub-con/rough sex, rimming, water sports, kinks of most kinds, BDSM, D/s, blowjobs...basically, if you're not sure, ask. I'd rather get a heads-up on something that might be a trigger.