frequently-asked-questions

Frequently Asked Questions About Family Mediation:

What is mediation?

Mediation is an informal non-adversarial problem solving process in which a trained neutral party - a mediator - helps parties to negotiate with each other;. The mediator does not make a decision, but assists the parties to reach their own settlements

How long does mediation take?

Depending upon the number of disputed issues and the willingness of the parties to compromise their differences, mediation can be as short as one or two sessions or may take as many as six or more sessions. An experienced mediator can usually tell after one or two sessions whether there is a reasonable likelihood of resolving all or some of the issues.

Are lawyers involved in the mediation process?

Attorneys are infrequently present in facilitative family, divorce or parenting mediations. They are certainly welcome should the parties want them to attend. You have an absolute right to have your attorney participate in the mediation process if you so desire, but the use of attorneys is not required, except in rare cases. Who is present in the mediation, in addition to the parties and the mediator, is always up to the agreement of the parties. If attorneys are not involved in the mediation directly, the parties are encouraged to have attorneys review any final legal documents before they are signed and filed with the court.

If I agree to mediation, am I bound by what the mediator decides?

No. Mediation is not the same as binding arbitration. Arbitration is a form of alternative dispute resolution where the parties agree to be bound by the arbitrator's final decision. Mediation is a voluntary process of working toward a common understanding and agreement. Usually, if the parties agree to mediation, there is a stipulation that anything said or used in the mediation process cannot be used in court if the mediation process fails to produce an agreement.

What is the final outcome of mediation?

The final outcome of mediation is a written agreement. The mediator will assist the parties to produce an outline of the agreement which the parties have reached through mediation. How this agreement is then formalized for the court (if at all) is up to the parties and their attorneys. There are many different options for formalizing the mediation agreement, and these differ from location to location.

Can a court order me to participate in mediation?

Many courts have now enacted court rules to require parties to participate in an initial mediation orientation session to determine whether mediation is feasible and appropriate. As a voluntary cooperative process, however, you cannot be ordered to continue in mediation against your wishes. You can withdraw at any time after the initial orientation session. Exact rules as to what you are required to do to participate in the mediation orientation may vary from court to court.

Do the parties meet together with the mediator?

Most times the parties meet together with the mediator. Mediation works best when the parties are able to hear each other's perspectives and gain a clearer understanding of what is important to one another. The mediator may meet with the parties separately and privately from time to time in order to negotiate bumps in the road of their conversation or if other concerns arise by either party. And there are some cases where it is not possible or advisable to meet jointly, and the mediation may occur by telephone or some sort of "shuttle diplomacy."

Are mediation decisions cast in stone?

The quick answer is, no. In fact, nothing is cast in stone until a judge signs a binding court order, and even then such orders can sometimes be amended. Also, mediation recognizes the important role of individual attorneys as advisers. Matters decided in mediation are to be reviewed with attorneys for individual legal advice, something that the mediator cannot provide.

What subjects are discussed in mediation?

Simply said, whatever topics help the parties get a clearer understanding of their options and the subjects that help them make the decisions they face. Topics in family casses often include but are certainly not limited to parenting, custody, financial support, property division, asset and debt distribution. The mediator helps with clarifying questions, checklists, forms, questionnaires and the experience of having helped in hundreds of other similar situations.

We're stuck. I can't imagine mediation helping.

Maybe it won't. However, most of the time mediation is much different than past attempts at communication and problem solving. Despite participants often coming with very low expectations, mediation is "successful" most of the time. Parties virtually always leave mediation having at least a clearer understanding of what is before them. Moreover, and at least 75% of the time, parties resolve most if not all of the issues they bring to mediation.

How long will mediation take?

It really depends. Sometimes people come to mediation with just a couple of matters to resolve. They find that one short session wraps things up for them. Others begin the divorce process in mediation and cover a broad range of divorce and family issues. This may take from two sessions to as many as a half dozen or more. The decision to proceed at any time is always up to the parties based upon their own assessment of the cost effectiveness of their mediation.

How much does mediation cost?

Learning more about mediation costs nothing. Parties considering the use of mediation can call for a telephonic consultation to determine whether mediation seems appropriate. In addition, the initial mediation session in our process begins with an introduction and orientation to the overall mediation process. At the end of such orientation if the process is not what you thought, or the chemistry just not right, any party can withdraw at that time at no cost or obligation.

The mediation process itself is not inexpensive. While successful mediation is generally less expensive than the traditional adversarial process, this is so because the cooperative process generally takes less time than the adversarial process

The standard fees for mediation are set forth on a separate page of this website. See Peterson Mediation Fees. Individual fees may vary, especially for travel, when required outside of our normal geographic areas.

What should I bring to mediation?

In answering that question, keep in mind that it is not important for the mediator to know about the issues that you bring to mediation. The mediator does not decide the issues. What is important is what the parties know and come to know through the mediation process.

So, bring to mediation whatever might be helpful in generating an understanding of your wishes for the other party. Also, bring whatever would be useful to you in your discussions. An outline of the topics you would like to cover may help give you direction.

I 'm not OK in a room with the other party.

Mediation is not appropriate in all instances. When there has been a history of hurtful behavior, manipulation or domination, mediation may not be an OK place. Since balance of communication is essential in mediation, the presence of intimidation or fear would be a serious problem. Be sure to talk to the mediator in advance about any such concerns. You should get all the information you need in order to make an informed decision regarding what options are best in your situation.