Embedded Files
This is the complete collection of two decades of mental health.
click here to order your own copy of this massive graphic novel!
The series follows the adventures of a female
spirit who interacts with a human host who
is a heroin addict. But as the story evolves
she becomes his lifeline and drug.
Jake travels with her to spirit worlds where
they meet other weary travellers, even a forlorn
Jesus who has been travelling in the desert,
looking for lost souls. And Jake is a lost soul.
Much of the inspiration for the series comes
from my experiences with drugs and
especially a heroin addict i will call R. who i
lived with in the drug addled parts of downtown Vancouver when i was in my late
twenties. Damn, i did so many drugs when i lived
there. The drug scene on Hastings street was crowded and you could find any drug you wanted. The cops
sat around in their cars and did nothing. It was crazy. I had never lived like this.
R. had to steal to get her fix. Sometimes she would fix and just nod away.
My adventures aside i was interested in drug culture as a teen-ager. I read Naked Lunch and that just blew my mind. I got into
the pschedelic work of Terence Mckenna and i wanted to be
like these guys. Their works taught me about perception and
how to open your eyes to the worlds you can't see with your eyes.
Huxley, The Doors of Perception...it made me want to experiment
with mad drugs and see the world with intoxicated sight.
This comic series is not for the squeemish.
Most of it revolves around adult themes. There is a spiritual-
sexual component that is apparent throughout the series.
Originally the single issues were presented in a rough pulpy
format. I was going for a low budget feel which resulted in
fewer sales because of the non commercial aspect of the books.
But i wanted the audience to appreciate the characters and story
more than the presentation.
The story begins with Jake moping around his apartment. He
injects the drug and Sistina appears. The following scene
reveals the sexual tension between them. It is dark and gritty and occurs on a parallel spiritual plane. Another demon appears
who is somehow connected to Sistina and pulls her away from
Jake. Jake is left alone and wakes up with a scream. Thats the
first issue in a nutshell.
Although i have never injected there is a fierce undercurrent of addiction to the story that represents the want of spiritual warfare that has been prevalent in my own life. My pschosis. My cathartic friends that live in my headspace. That have lived there for decades. Angels and demons galore. Although i have never visited those unseen spirit worlds except in my dreams i believe they exist. And there are spiritual guides for each of us. Alls you have to do is open up and accept them.
The chararcter of Sistina represents addiction like a torrent love spell that Jake cannot resist. And as he travels the spiritual realms he becomes more obssesed with her. It is a desert world with monsters and guides. Sistina travels in this realm searching for something, i don't know what. And she later materializes on earth and becomes a human with super powers.
Each issue as it stands alone is stuccato when lined up next to the other. There is a lack of continuity that represents a stream of conscious of stories. In reality i drew them so far apart from one another that the whole is a series of parts with storylines that don't flow together. But seen as a dream, when put together, there is a tapestry of information that still stands well in one volume, which i have published in one graphic novel. My first.
There is a bunch of material i have published in cheap formats. And countless drawings and storyboards that have not been published yet. In reality she exists through my pen and pencil alive on the page. So being she becomes real, lost in her own little universe shelved away where few know
her.
THE LOST SISTINA FILES was a collection of drawings that i went manic and destroyed
but somehow managed to catch on my camera. Some time later i came across the images but
couldnt remember drawing them. It seemed to be a lapse of time since i had chosen to
throw them out. they are raw and uncut.
I seem to come across alot of cartoonists who feel they are role models and they
represent themselves to wider audiences. but i say fuck it. do what you want. do what you are passionate about no matter the consequences. this is the shit i love to draw. everyone has their opinion but in the end
art should represent a demoliton of values. adult comes have come a long way since the fifties and we demand to be heard. we have evolved and our art is not for the weary.
So how did this all come about?
it was a desire to create low budget art. low budget stories. To a small audience who might've not been
looking for commercial appeal. the artisans of the commercial titles swear making money and reaching for
a bigger audience is the ideal. i just dont want to feel constricted in my story telling. these stories are dark and erotic. they are not for the weak of heart. i tried to capture the emotion and seduction of a character so mysterious that symbolically exists in my own mind. whether or not she is real is irrelevant. to me she is my lust, my love my passion. all unseen but present nevertheless.
she is a symbol of man's corrupted innocense. a dirty gritty force that existed in my mind then transformed onto the page and became real.
TIME AND THE CHARACTERS METAMORPHISIS
as the books were created and time had passed between issues, the radical character that sistina had started as became less vampirical and more like a friendly elf spirit. she started as a symbol who silently seduced men with no speech bubbles and now she is more wordly and playful. i had to make her more human so that she could become more involved in the storylines of the books. you can only use a silent character for so long. she yearned for connections with the other characters. especially jake. she is erotic, playful and fun. the first two books are monuments to a time in my life when i was stable and very creative. as time passed the style of art in the series changed from book to book. as i became more and more unstable the books suffered for it. i was still putting out comics but i was rushing to get them done. i was putting out an issue a year, which was unacceptable. and drawback after drawback led me to destroy over 150 pages of original art that was controversial, mystical and cutting edge. what had led me to this juncture in my life? was i fated to become a hack? a misanthrop? a failed artist?
it just wasn't in the cards that i successfully publish that lost art. i remember the hold it had on me. i used to lay the pages out in my mothers dining room on the floor and stare at them for hours. i loved to look at them. it was an addiction. maybe i had become obssessed with the imagery too much. the characters had become real stemming from my imagination and i couldn't hold on to them. i had to set them free.
looking back on the experiment, i have learned to forgive my delusions and dreams. i keep a healthy distance from my art and try not to let it hold such a negative impact in my creative process.
WHERE IS ALL OF THIS GOING?
as i mentioned before the character sistina has gone through a metamorphisis almost right from the start. as i start new storyboards for other future
stories she develops other powers like super strength and becomes a super being. i find the characters from other titles appearing, almost merging into the sistina story. all living in one universe. maybe one day she will return to her gothic roots. or die off and remain a spirt like she started in the beginning. you gotta remember ive been drawing this character for twenty years. i changed in that time. and the artwork shows it.
so thats it in a nutshell. i said it like it needed to be said. hope it was a blast for you. i had a good time. good art is always welcome in my world. stories that push the boundaries. see ya on the flipside...
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