A Model Contract: Parenting the Teen Driver
Dale Wisely, Ph.D. www.parentingteendrivers.com
.The text of this website is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.5/).
Businesses, organizations, news media, print and web publishers are asked to contact Dale Wisely at dalewisely@gmail.com for permission prior to using this material. It may be used for by individuals and families without permission. I enjoy and benefit from hearing from people who use it or plan to use it. Please email and tell me! ..You may remove Dale Wisely’s name, above, on copies provided to your teenager, but leave the name and website visible when sharing this contract with other parents. Better to provide the website name to friends, as the contract is frequently revised.
Please review the materials at www.parentingteendrivers.com for helpful information on the use of this contract. Check the website for updates. Download the contract and edit it to suit your needs and preferences.
Why do a driving contract?
If your child dies during the teenage years, the most likely cause will be an auto accident.
Your teenage driver is in danger of killing or injuring himself or herself or other innocent people.
If you don't do a contract, you will likely be vague in your rules and directions about driving.
If you don’t do a contract, you can count on a lot of subsequent arguments based on “I thought you said…or “I thought you meant…”
The contract signals the teenager that driving is a serious and potentially deadly activity.
Establish with the teenager, in advance, your firm insistence on a written agreement. You must be willing to state (and mean) that you will not allow the teen to drive independently until an agreement is reached, signed and followed.
If possible, if two parents are involved, parents should reach an agreement about the contract before it discussed with the teenager.
Use this contract as a model. Feel free to edit it and personalize it to your situation.
Sign it and provide a copy to the teenager. DO NOT ALLOW A TEENAGER TO DRIVE INDEPENDENTLY UNTIL THE AGREEMENT IS NEGOTIATED, WRITTEN, REVISED, AND SIGNED! DON'T LET YOUR TEEN DRIVE WITHOUT AN AGREEMENT.
Set a date to revise it after a period of time during which the teen drives. Schedule the review date and put it on the calendar. On this review date, go through it and change the agreement a little (or a lot) based on experience. Make it stricter if the teen's behavior with the car warrants that. Make it a bit more lenient, perhaps, if the teen is doing well. START WITH A FAIRLY STRICT CONTRACT.
Your Local Laws
More states continue to pass tougher laws regarding teen driving. Many states now have graduated drivers license laws, which place restrictions on new/younger drivers. Research your state’s laws and make sure this contract is consistent with local laws. The contract will be MORE restrictive than your local laws but you want to make sure that it’s not LESS restrictive than your local laws. Check, in particular, what your local laws say about CURFEW and about the NUMBER OF PASSENGERS allowed a teen driver.
D r i v i n g A g r e e m e n t
General Principles
The new driver must initial each point to show it is read and understood:
____ Permission to drive is not a legal right. It is granted to me by my parents, who are under no obligation to do so, and who may withdraw the privilege at any time. I understand that I will only be allowed to drive when I am willing to abide by the rules and regulations established by my parents.
I recognize that driving a car is an extremely serious matter. I recognize that...
____ Automobile accidents are the leading cause of death of people 16-20 years old.
____ I am more likely to die in an auto accident than from any other cause.
____ Recklessness or errors that I make while driving could kill or hurt me, passengers in the car I drive, and/ people in other cars and pedestrians. Among those who could be victims of my driving mistakes are infants, children, my friends, my family members, parents of children, and many others.
____ I will obey laws regulating driving. I will observe and obey posted speed limits. I will obey rules established by my parents. I recognize these are for my protection and the protection of others.
____ I understand that the car I drive is property of my parents. Even a car that is a “gift” to me is still, legally, the property of my parents. I drive the car only with permission.
____ I understand that my parents and I must be able to reach this written agreement in order for me to be permitted to drive. I understand that the terms of this agreement may be changed, to be more or less strict, based on how I handle the freedom and responsibility of driving.
____ In some cases, this contract is more restrictive than the law. I understand that my parents have the right to place more restrictions on my driving than is called for by the law.
____I must study and be aware of the terms of this contract. “Forgetting” any part of the contract is not an excuse.
This contract establishes penalties for violating driving rules. The penalties involve suspending my independent driving privileges for a length of time to be determined by my parent(s). During this time, I will not be allowed to drive without a parent, guardian, or other responsible adult (determined by the parent), in the car.
SET DATE TO REVIEW AND POSSIBLY ADJUST THIS CONTRACT ..(recommended: 4-6 weeks): _________________
RULES CALLING FOR SUSPENSION OF INDEPENDENT DRIVING PRIVILEGES WITHOUT
FURTHER WARNINGS
These rules, if violated, will lead to suspension of independent driving privileges. I will not be let off with a warning. I understand that I may lose my independent driving privileges for as long as my parent decides if any one of these is violated even once. My parents will determine the length of the suspension based on the offense.
If my parents deny me permission to drive, for whatever reason, I will obey this and give them my keys immediately with no argument or debate. If I drive in defiance of my parents’ order not to drive, this contract is cancelled and no independent driving (driving without a parent or guardian in the car) will be permitted until further notice. .I will not leave the scene of an accident, no matter how minor, without the permission of police officers and/or my parents..
No alcohol use/abuse. It is illegal for me to drink alcohol. However, if I do break the law by drinking anything alcoholic I will not drive for 24 hours.
No drug use/abuse. I will not drive for 48 hours after my last use of any "substance." "Substance” means any drug or chemical (including but not limited to marijuana, pills, inhalants, and other drugs) which would be expected by my parents to alter my ability to drive. There is no acceptable amount of any substance of this kind. This rule may include medications prescribed to me or over-the-counter medications. In the cases of legal medications, I will inform my parents of any such medications I have taken so that they can judge whether taking these medications will interfere with my driving ability.
No riding with others who have used alcohol or drugs. I will not ride as a passenger with any driver who has used alcohol or any substance as defined above. I will not ride with anyone who it would be reasonable to think may have used alcohol or drugs.
Alternatives to riding with others who have used alcohol or drugs. If I find myself in a situation as described above, I will contact my parents or another designated adult to arrange for transportation. I understand that my parents will appreciate that behavior and will make every effort to avoid asking me a lot of questions about it.
No alcohol or drugs in car. I will not allow alcohol or illegal drugs in the car. This includes over-the-counter medications (cough medicines, etc.) when I have reason to believe someone has them in their possession for purposes of abuse. My parents will hold me responsible for any alcohol or drugs in the car, even if they don’t belong to me or it is the fault of someone riding in my car.
No texting while driving. I will not text, read texts, dial my cell phone, or check for text messages while driving.
Limit on passengers. I understand that the presence of other teenagers in the car with me will increase the chances of an accident. I will, therefore, always have limits on passengers while I am a teenage driver. Immediately after I receive my license, I will not be allowed to have any teenage passengers except by permission of my parents for a specific situation, such as car pooling to school. As I gain experience, I will be allowed one passenger. Over time, this will be subject to review.
No thrill-seeking/stunts. I will not engage in any thrill-seeking behavior while driving. I will not drive for recreation. Driving too fast, racing of all kinds, and any kind of "stunt" involving a car is NOT ALLOWED. Driving is for transportation ONLY.
No driving with passengers who are not wearing seatbelts. I will wear my seatbelt at all times and require all passengers to wear them. I will check to make sure all belts are fastened before I drive. This includes ANY driving of any distance with more passengers than the vehicle is designed to carry.
Informing parents about accidents & police encounters. I will inform my parents about any and all tickets, accidents, and encounters with police (including warnings.)
No firearms or other weapons. I will not drive with any guns or other deadly weapons in the vehicle.
No driving with passengers who are not wearing seatbelts. This includes ANY driving any distance with more passengers than the vehicle is designed to carry.
RULES WHICH MAY RESULT IN A WARNINGS OR SUSPENSION OF INDEPENDENT DRIVING PRIVILEGES
First violation may lead to warning of suspension of driving privileges. If a violation is repeated after a warning, independent driving privileges will be suspended for a length of time to be determined by my parents. NOTE: These are strict rules, some of which may be revised when we review this contract in a few weeks.
Permission to Drive. When I first begin driving by myself, I must ask permission to drive each time I drive. Exceptions to this rule will be given for regularly scheduled transportation to school, work, regular meetings, etc. I will ask permission to drive to specific locations and will discuss the route planned. I will be certain that my parents know where I am. I will not make unscheduled stops or side trips.
Curfew. When I first begin driving by myself, I may not drive after 10:00 p.m. This curfew will be reviewed and possibly revised on the date of contract review. (See date above.)
Staying in touch. When I am away from my parents, I will inform them of exactly where I am. I will call my parents when I have arrived at the intended location, before I change locations, and before I start my trip home. If my first call does not reach my parents, I will try all available numbers and leave messages at each.
Off-Limit Areas. I will not drive on streets, highways, or in areas that are designated as off-limits. I understand that greater flexibility in these matters will come as I gain experience and show that I am honoring the agreement. For the time being, the following roads and areas are to be avoided:
No one else drives vehicle. I will not permit any other person to drive the car without my parents’ specific permission for each specific case. .
Car audio system. For the first month I drive, I will not have the car stereo on. After the first month, after clearing this with my parents, I will be allowed to have the stereo on but will make no adjustments to it other than changing the volume while driving. Under no circumstances will I change a CD while driving. I will change these only when stopped or pulled over. .
TEXTING, CELL PHONES, MP3 Players, GPS System. I will not use cell phones, MP3 players, or any other electronic device while driving. I will pull over for other operations of cell phones and electronic equipment.
No texting while driving. No reading, writing, checking for text messages, or sending text messages. No use of cell phones while in motion. No use of MP3 player when driving!
Weather/road conditions. I will respect weather and road conditions, slowing down as needed for safety. I will contact my parents to discuss weather or poor road conditions when I am out driving. .
Emotional upset. Knowing that judgment and driving skills are altered by emotions, I will not drive when I am upset or angry. If upset, I will contact my parents for transportation and I reserve the right to maintain my privacy regarding personal matters. My parents agree not to ask a lot of unnecessary questions..
Taking care of vehicle. It is my responsibility to protect the car I drive. I will keep it reasonably clean and maintained. I have some specific responsibilities regarding the maintenance of the car as noted below:
Passenger behavior. I will not allow my passengers to behave in such a way as to distract me while driving. .
Friends ride only with their parents’ permission. When transporting my friends, I will be reasonably sure that they have their parents' permission to ride with me. .
Thank You for Not Smoking. I will not allow smoking in the car. I will not smoke in the car..
No eating & driving. I will not eat while driving. .
No rushing. Accidents are more likely to happen when I rush. I am more likely to rush when I leave late. Therefore, my parents reserve the right to not allow me to drive unless I leave by a time they specify. For example, if my parents tell me that I must allow 20 minutes to get to something that starts at 7:00, I may not leave later than that. In such cases, my parents will attempt to provide alternative transportation, to whatever extent possible..
Attention to Driving. I will not do things while driving that distracts me from the road. No applying makeup, getting things in and out of a purse or back-pack, etc.
RIDING WITH OTHER YOUNG DRIVERS
The most common age at which people are killed as passengers in cars is when they are teenagers. Therefore, my parents will set limits on who I may ride with and under what conditions I may ride with them.
I must ask permission every time I ride with any driver other than my parents. I promise to truthfully inform my parents who the driver is, how many passengers will be in the vehicle, and truthfully answer any other questions they ask me.
I may not ride with any new driver who has had their license for less than six months.
I will not ride with drivers or passengers who have recently used alcohol or drugs or who who it would be reasonable to think may have recently used alcohol or drugs. I will not ride when I know or suspect alcohol or drugs are in the vehicle.
I will not ride in a car unless I can use a seatbelt and I will, in all cases, use the seat belt.
I will not ride in a car when guns or weapons are in the car.
Rather than ride in an unsafe situation, I will contact my parents or another designated adult to arrange for transportation.
If I feel unsafe while riding with someone, I will do what I can to get out of the car and contact my parents.
SPECIAL ITEMS
Tickets and moving violations will result in suspension of my driving privileges for a period to be determined by my parents. My parents have no obligation to pay my fines for driving-related tickets. .
Parents reserve the right to insist on additional in-the-car supervision of my driving. This can be in response to an incident, or just to check on the development of my driving skills.
Financial. I will make certain financial contributions to the purchase of the car, maintenance of the car, and/or insurance. My contributions are currently as follows:
Family obligations. I agree to provide transportation to family members at the directive of my parents. Fulfilling these obligations is a condition of my use of a car. Sometimes these responsibilities will override my own desires and interests in using the car. .
General life responsibilities. I agree that I must be responsible to drive safely and that my parents must believe I am relatively responsible in order to allow me to drive. They may, therefore, take into account how I handle my general responsibilities, including schoolwork, employment, household duties. I will also maintain a respectful attitude. I will not ask my parents to allow me to drive when I am rude and disrespectful to them or to others. .
Right to clear expectations. My parents have a right to expect me to be responsible. I have a right to be told what this means. For this reason, I may ask my parents for clarification of their requirement that I "be responsible." .
Changes in this agreement. I understand that this contract will be made more strict at any time my parents believe that is the best thing to do. I understand that if I consistently abide by these rules that my parents will work with me to make the contract less strict as I gain experience. However, I understand that--bottom line--it is my parents' choice and responsibility to change or not change the contract. We will review this agreement and perhaps make changes to it on ______________(date) or earlier if my parents or I wish to do so.
Summary: I agree to abide by the rules in this contract and I accept the consequences and penalties if I do not. I recognize my parents' authority in deciding if I may drive. That authority is final until I am an adult living independent of my parents. I further agree that “forgetting” something in this contract is not a valid excuse.
Signatures
DRIVER____________________________________ ________________ (date)
PARENT(s)/Guardian(s) ____________________ ________________ (date)
THIS CONTRACT WILL BE REVIEWED AGAIN ON ________________________(date). (Recommended: 4-6 weeks.)
Rev. 6/2010
a free public service website Notes on contract.
Consequences. This contract establishes only one consequence for violations of the contract: Suspension of independent driving privileges. Over the years, I have removed most language involving recommending specific lengths of time because each individual situation is so different. The only difference between Category A and Category B rules is that parents may choose to give a warning for the first violation of Category B rules. Category A rules call for immediate suspension independent driving privileges.
Alcohol and drug use. While the contract has the young driver acknowledging that underage drinking is illegal, it also includes a statement that if the young person drinks, he or she will not drive for 24 hours. Some parents read this as permission to drink. It is, rather, an acknowledgment that people break laws and do reckless things.
Limits on Passengers. This is an essential rule. There is a very direct relationship between the number of passengers in the car with a teenage driver, and the likelihood of an accident. It also, of course, increases the number of potential deaths or injuries. We highly recommend not exceeding a limit of 1 passenger during the first year of driving.
Cell phones, Car stereos and other electronics. I recently strengthened this language in response to the “texting while driving” issue. This is a huge problem. Regarding stereo systems: Consider starting with a strict policy--No stereo at all during the first weeks of driving. In a later revision of the contract, consider a rule that they may have the stereo on but they may not manipulate any controls while in motion. USE OF CELL PHONES AND MP3 PLAYERS (iPods, etc.) WHILE DRIVING IS PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS.
“Getting it.” Recently, I’ve been thinking about a concern I have about contracts of this type: Teenagers may quickly sign it, without really “learning” the rules. Even if they do learn them, they may forget them. So, I encourage you to think of creative ways to assure that they have really understood and retained the rules. Some suggestions:
Require your child to read the entire contract to you, aloud.
Require your child to sit while you read it to them.
Before signing, sit down together, read each item together, and discuss.
Occasionally ask questions. Ex: “What does the contract say about curfew?”
Negotiating. Consider this approach: Make a draft of the contract before you present it to your child and be sure to include some items you are willing to adjust, negotiate, or even give up. Instead of giving the child a finished contract, offer to go through it with him or her item-by-item and invite the teenager to make a “counter-proposal.” It’s perfectly OK to make some rules non-negotiable.
For more information: http://www.parentingteendrivers.com