Eulogy

Below is the text of the eulogy that Janis Andersen, long time friend and colleague of Linda, beautifully delivered. Thank you again, Jan.

Dr. Linda Irwin Moore Eulogy

Delivered at the Jackie Liebergott Black Box Theatre at Emerson College, Boston Ma, March 4, 2015 on the occasion of the Memorial and Celebration of Linda’s life

By Dr. Janis Andersen, Retired Dean of Communication, Emerson College

We gather together this afternoon as a collection of individuals but in so doing we create a community

This community exists for at least three purposes. First and foremost, we gather to honor the life of a person that each of us held dear. To in a sense pay a debt – a debt of gratitude -- for the gifts that Linda Irwin Moore brought into our lives. We are here to bear witness to Linda’s extraordinary life and to acknowledge the powerful, positive impact that her life has had, and continues to have, on each of ours. Her sister, Louise, who stayed with Linda much of this past year, texted me this morning saying: " ... It will be a great day to honor one of the most wonderful persons God ever created.”

Today we come together to affirm that Linda's life was one that was truly well lived and we individually and collectively count our blessings for having had Linda in our life.

A second reason we come together is because we seek company in our grief. We know that our own life is lessened by Linda’s departure – that the planet is a little less of a good place without her living on it. That thought took me to a familiar poster that hung on dorm walls when Linda and I attended Bradley University. If you are of our generation, you will know it.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

Yes, Linda as the bell tolls for you, indeed it tolls for me. It tolls for all of us. With your death a part of our life has died. We are terribly sad and we want to sit with our sadness in the company of others who share that sadness.

There is yet a third reason for this community. We gather to remember – to share our remembrances, to trigger our memories, to share our stories. We come together to begin to put something back into our lives to compensate for this profound loss. We need to rebalance our life after this upheaval. We need to heal. Today we begin that healing process by acknowledging our loss, by sharing our experience, by honoring Linda’s life, by showing love to each other, especially to those most deeply affected by her departure. We embrace Linda's love by feeling it here today in the love that we all had for Linda & that she had for all of us.

We recognize that while a part as us died with Linda so also does part of Linda live on with us. So we gather to remember, for it is in our memories of her that she lives on. As long as we live, she too will live. She is a part of us as we remember her.

Thus in a humble effort to honor Linda, embedded in a personal desire to be with those who share my grief, & wrapped with the healing blanket of remembering, I want to share some reflections. Some from her family, some from her communication colleagues and some from me.

While life is lived going forward, making sense of life is often better done by looking backwards.

I didn't know Linda as a child or young woman. However, when we finally met about a decade ago, and then later got to know each other well as we worked closely together for six years, it became clear that we knew each other pretty darn well by virtue of similar life experiences. We were both born in central Illinois in the 1940's in a place that was country to city folk and city to country folk. We both attended Bradley University, participated in many of the same campus activities (debate, student center board) and we both pledged the same sorority -- Gamma Phi Beta. Linda had just graduated when I pledged, so our time never quite overlapped, but we were friends with many of the same girls. We both loved our sorority experience and believed we benefitted immensely from it, but never shared that opinion with others. As feminist, female academics, sorority membership was impossible to explain and certainly not a positive identity! We both entered the field of communication with doctorates, loved students and teaching and yet ended up devoting our talent to administration. We were both presidents of regional communication associations -- she Central States, me Western -- and we both sat on the Administrative Council of the National Communication Association while chairing the finance board. When I met Fanchon I felt I had met my mom. Louise, sorry, I only had brothers.

I could go on with more parallels but I think you get the point. This homophily ( a communication term for similarity, especially in terms of background) created an instant bond when we met and it provided the foundation for a deep friendship. Incidentally we met because Linda had persuaded a good friend of mine to take an interim chair position at Wayne State in much the same way she later persuaded me to take the interim dean position at Emerson. I just learned the similarity yesterday as I heard about her quiet, soft, persistent, persuasive style that always seemed to work from Wayne State colleagues, Sandra Petronio and Charles Bantz . When Linda called me, my first response was “Gosh, Thanks, I’m honored, but no way”. Forty five minutes later she had me on a plane to Boston to take a look! Anyway, interim chair Bob Avery, kept telling Linda she had to meet Jan Andersen and he kept telling me I had to meet Linda Moore. When he introduced us at the New Orleans NCA conference we started chatting and never stopped until this past month. He was an astute judge of homophily!

As I learned from Linda's family, the Linda I knew was very much present in that little girl in Illinois. Uncle Bud, one of the first to hold Linda as she came into this world, told me of her strong desire to learn even as a 5 year old. Her learning readiness even propelled Linda into an early start in school. Just last month Linda & I were talking ideas, movies and books. Linda was always curious and embodied the notion of being a lifelong learner. Uncle Bud said Linda excelled in everything she did as a child and he recalled blue ribbons for debate success in college. Well Uncle Bud, her professional achievements continued that excellence trajectory and are top tier by any measurement stick. Her award plaques are more numerous than a wall might hold. He said Linda was always kind, compassionate, generous, welcoming and accepting-- from her childhood years until her death. And he provided stories to document this; I hope you have a chance to hear some of them in chatting with him later. From her warm welcome to her dad into the family, to her Christmas gifts that gave Uncle Bud & other family members a virtual farm (She donated on their behalf to the Heifer Foundation), Linda’s caring was an ever present dimension. Uncle Bud said Linda was soft, gentle, strong, & a champion for the downtrodden. He wasn't sure it was ok to say, but he thought she was a "liberal". Yup, that's the Linda I knew! And Uncle Bud, in this circle being a liberal is a badge worn proudly!

Her sister Louise talked about Linda's gift for offering sage advice, Linda’s ability to help her see the world through new eyes, and Linda's selflessness when she was there to help Louise in some way. As I heard Louise talk about Linda, it was immediately clear to me that Linda developed and honed her mentoring skills with her little sister. Her professional persona had a little bit of treating everyone under her charge as a beloved little sister. She always had our back, she was there to guide and collaborate, but her ego never took credit for our work, even though without her the work wouldn't -- couldn't -- have been the same.

Louise did tell me of a scandalous behavior and when she started that way, I couldn't wait to get the juice. I couldn't believe the Linda I knew would behave in a scandalous way. My Linda was a beacon of integrity! Well, Louise’s story took place during Linda’s late teens. Louise was peeking through the front door spying on big sis's good night ritual when linda was coming in from a date, AND she saw Linda kissing her boyfriend! Yes that's the Linda I knew!!!

Linda's mom only said: “The best friend I ever had.” Chris added that he's heard that from several others. Well, add me and many here to the list of people that Linda graced with extraordinary friendship. But Anne Doyle has to be at the top of that list. Annie talked about her amazing friendship with Linda saying that as she looks around her office there are so many things Linda gave me – things that were me, things that made fun of me, things that challenged me. Linda was always on the lookout for ways to demonstrate the bonds of friendship. Her other orientation, active listening, genuine empathy and selfless caring are friendship gifts that she gave regularly. I've never had a less egocentric, less judgmental, more empathic friend and I doubt I ever will again.

I know how Linda valued family. She was incredibly proud of both Chris and Lee. Linda loved to share stories of their work and their living. Linda loved being Nana and one of my personal sadnesses is that we can't continue to trade Nana experiences and stories, just as I'm getting started. Linda loved to tell me what Carter and Marquesa said and did. We would laugh over their cuteness and expand with more shared laughter -- for a few moments we would be together in that toddler space where life is innocent and filled with pure joy! Linda was the one who helped the family through death, dropping whatever to assist the person and their family in the difficult final days. How wonderful that so many of them were there for her in her time of death.

When I spoke with a few communication colleagues from Wayne State, I heard about her amazing administrative talent and dedication. She competently reframed a situation with a trailing spouse to be the asset that the professor was and she effectively advocated to the provost for her unit with passion, dedication, and perseverance. She was a true lover of the arts so her position there as Dean of Fine, Performing, & Communication Arts was a perfect fit. Linda’s knowledge of all of these arts was impressive & her passion for them was genuine such that she was one of the university's most successful fundraisers. She strongly believed in the importance of the arts & even converted an angry alum into a $500,000 benefactor! They noted Linda’s graciousness, charm, gentleness, intelligence, beauty, perceptiveness and good listening, saying that these things made Linda a perfect advocate for and great partner to share art experiences.

Indeed, that's the Linda Emerson hired. That's the same Linda I enjoyed when attending so many Emerson theatrical events with her. She was a perfect date (nothing scandalous Louise). I'm not nearly so knowledgeable about the arts and couldn't be as discriminating as she was, but as I reflect, her discriminating tastes never detracted from my enjoyment of a less than perfect performance. In fact, I'm not sure they did hers either. She was so non judgmental in her heart that she was always willing to find something good and she chose not to dwell on any imperfections. She was so proud of our students and their faculty mentors and so much of what we enjoyed was truly excellent. Linda WOULD tell me that.

The communication discipline had a very accomplished and effective advocate. She loved her home discipline and often used what she learned from the communication discipline to do administration. She and I shared this deconstructive space and I know we both benefitted from it intellectually and pragmatically. Rich West posted a beautiful tribute to Linda on Crtnet --the disciplines online network-- and I commend it to you. Linda served on the governing board of the National Communication Association for three years; as chair of the finance committee she was instrumental in facilitating the relocation of the national office from the DC suburbs to the DuPont circle area.

Linda was very slow to criticize and frankly very difficult (almost impossible) to get to gossip. When my "hotter temperament" would have me really going off on someone and what they did, the only way I knew she probably agreed was a brief roll of her eyes and a quick shoulder shrug. Then she would turn away; she just wasn't going to go there! Uncle Bud said he never heard Linda raise her voice. As I thought about it, I can't recall that either. She was too "cool" to get tangled up in an angry situation. She was enormously patience, always kind, always trying to understand another perspective, and always working to understand another's reason.

Linda loved to laugh and I loved that I could make her laugh. She was an easy audience and laughing together was always such fun. She never minded having fun poked at her, she saw the ironies, contradictions, and crazy dilemmas. She took her work and her friendships seriously but she didn't take herself seriously. Several of us tried to play matchmaker for Linda and her consistently most valued attribute in a desirable mate was a sense of humor. Linda told me she wanted a partner “who would make me laugh.” While often quite serious and always professional in a working environment, Linda relaxed and recreated with laughter. I heard stories of people laughing with her in Irish pubs, in Paris cafes & amongst Roman ruins. I should add that (as Rich describes aptly describes in his on-line post) Linda also laughed heartily in work environments when safely gathered with her work team.

Linda lived with the belief that there is a reason for everything. That's slightly different than the more commonly heard “everything happens for a reason”. It is a more active interpretation that checks to science, intellect, and spiritual posits. It wasn't an accidental world to her -- it was a world of forces to understand. Linda's motto drove her to want to learn to understand the reason. It provided the foundation for her empathy, acceptance, & nonjudgmental approach.

The irony of this speech is it is more self disclosure and calls more public attention to the self than Linda would have wished. Linda was a very private person. She didn't like to draw attention to herself. She certainly appreciated recognition, but it wasn't her motivating force. Her life joy came from giving; not from ego forces of accolade acquisition. I made a conscious choice to focus this eulogy on Linda, rather than her accomplishments, for many reasons but a primary one was that I don't think Linda would measure her life by the certificates, plaques, offices, jobs, or honors she accumulated. I do hope some of you share more about her professional achievement, integrity and excellence as they warrant our attention and admiration. There is certainly much to talk about in that arena. For me to characterize her success, this Ralph Waldo Emerson poem seems written for Linda:

To laugh often and love much;

to win the respect of intelligent persons

and the affection of children;

to earn the approbation of honest critics

and to endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty;

to find the best in others;

to give of one's self;

to leave the world a little better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch

or a redeemed social condition;

to have played and laughed with enthusiasm

and sung with exultation;

to know that even one life has breathed easier

because you have lived,

this is to have succeeded.

There is no doubt that Linda’s life was a huge success. Linda was an amazing mentor, a fabulous boss, a wonderful disciplinary ally, and a dear friend. Each of you has a different relationship with Linda and you will have a different way of characterizing her, but I hope that much of what I have spoken about rings true to you and sparks additional memories that you will share. I have purposefully been light on Emerson experiences because many of you can fill that gap.

Linda you left us way too soon. Annie talked about the plans they had made – the bucket list activities like attending a Red Sox spring training camp and Linda lamenting that she guessed that would not happen. I’m mourning the travel we didn’t get to do together – the Cape Cod trip taken away by the surgery date, the NY trip stolen by obligation and the thought that we both had a long retirement to return to that opportunity. I’m wishing I had seen her one last time! But more than anything, I’m learning from Linda a lesson I need to keep relearning. Life is always too short. We need to fill each day with what is truly important and spend our time with those we love doing things we love. There WILL be a moment for each of us when it is too late.

I miss you Linda. I miss you, your love, your thoughtfulness, your friendship, our talks and laughter, and our unfulfilled plans. We all miss you! We will keep you alive in our hearts and in our memories. Rest in peace.