John Beech's Homepages - Some favourite quotes

Being managing director of a state-owned airline is like being the managing director of a cemetery: you have a lot of people under you, but they don't listen. Franco Mancassola

Crisis? What crisis? James Callaghan

Don't tell him, Pike! Captain Mainwaring in Dad's Army

Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere. Graffito near Paddington Station

I do not care what I eat so long as it is always the same. Ludwig Wittgenstein

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen

I made an entry in my diary on the way over here. Simply said 'Bugger'! Captain Darling in Blackadder IV

I quite like children.... but I don't think I could eat a whole one. Anon.

I think we’ll bring back a medal. Ally MacLeod

Life's a bitch and then you die. Bert Rutan

Lunatic asylums are called 'care centres' these days. That's madness gone politically correct. Armando Iannucci

Out of the closet? Out of the closet? He's so far back in the closet he's in f*cking Narnia! Tom Farrell in Gimme Gimme Gimme!

Silence = Acquiescence = Murder Graffito near Sedgewick site, Cambridge

Similes are like rubbish, but metaphors are crap. Anon.

So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. Peter Drucker

Strategic vison? Ah yes, strategic vision. Seldom attractive, rarely thought through, and certainly never achieved. Clive Hancock.

Take only photos; leave only footprints. Anon.

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second-rate technology, who led them into it in the first place. Douglas Adams

The upper reaches of management are a land of mystery and intrigue. Very few people have been there, and the present inhabitants frequently send back messages that are incoherent both to other levels of management and to the world in general.

Edward Wrapp

There are only three things that motivate you : an All Day English Breakfast, a free lunch and an end-of-conference banquet.

Al Tapp

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. HL Mencken

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Groucho Marx

Aristotle was not Belgian, the basic principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself," and the London Underground is not a political movement. Jamie Lee Curtis character in A Fish Called Wanda

I think your karma just ran over my dogma. One of the Hairy Bikers