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Welcome to "Nursery Rhymes, the True stories (no, honest!)
...and the humour of John Davies
Now, the reason for this site is to introduce you to my book, "Nursery Rhymes, the True stories, (no, honest!), and the background to it. Also, there's some inane, monotonous drivel about me should you want to depress yourself further than you already are. Not that I'm self depreciatory or anything.....
"Not another nursery rhymes book!. Why another one?!?!?!?" I can hear you groan. Well, no, it's not. It explores the origins and explainations of some classic nursery rhymes.
"But there are books about this as well. Why can't this be new an exciting?!?" you whinge. Give me chance to inform you.
THIS book has a twist. A big twist. Huge. So large in fact that it has it's own gravitational pull, five time zones, it's own currency and takes two weeks to traverse, so you see how big the twist actually is. These are humerous, ficticious stories bearing no resemblence to the actual origins of said rhymes and are my take on the subject.
The cover should tell you a thing or two also. Not very "Nursery Rhyme" like in places is it? Why? well, I ain't gonna spill any beans, cos bean juice is awkward to get out. You'll just have to purchase said item to find out what it all means. Won't you.
In it, you'll find out why Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, how "Goosey Goosey" Gander got his name and why Miss Muffet really ran away. You'll discover such other interesting facts such as why Tom Tom the Pipers Son stole a pig, what Polly Flinders was doing sat in the cinders and the consequences of asking "Baa Baa Black Sheep have you any wool?". All with a healthy dose of my "humour". You have been warned.
It contains some adult themes which some viewers may find distressing (but nothing major) and is certainly not aimed at children.
On the serious side, I am donating some of the proceeds from the sale to Comic Relief. They are a fantasic organization and do great work. Please buy my book and help people less fortunate than yourselves. Hopefully you can have a good laugh at the same time. And I use the word "hopefully" very loosely.
If you don't, I'll send those entities round to your house that are responsible for turning your duvet through 90 degrees while you sleep, they'll slip teaspons into your washing up bowl while you're not looking and they'll hide tissues in your pockets just before they go into your washing machine.
And just to prove it, don't buy the book and see what happens. You'll see the power I can wield.
If you want to look at and hopefully buy the book, go to lulu.com n order your copy. Gwan, you know you want to. Or else. Please.
Contents:
Lucy Locket
Humpty Dumpty
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Little Bo Peep
Hey Diddle Diddle
Jack and Jill
Old Mother Hubbard
Ding Dong Bell
Goosey Goosey Gander
Little Miss Muffet
Tom Tom the Pipers Son
Little Polly Flinders