Like any single quantity designed to summarize something as complicated as a human, bibliometrics have their benefits and drawbacks. These metrics can provide a brief snapshot summary of a researcher's career or perhaps impact, but, at the same time, they generally fail to capture subtleties or nuances, and they also tend to be built to the benefit of publishers. Despite the drawbacks, bibliometrics are here, and have been in one form or another during my entire career in science. Some of my "metrics" are listed below; please use wisely.