Sheyna’s Situation
Read the story below. Then follow the directions on the next page.
Sheyna’s first year of high school is off to a rough start. She was a CIT (counselor in training) at a day camp this summer and loved every minute of it. But now Sheyna misses camp and feels like she can’t relate to her school friends anymore.
Every evening, Sheyna IMs (instant messages) Nick, the assistant director of her camp. He just graduated from college and lives a few hours away from her. Nick and Sheyna didn’t know each other that well, but they exchanged screen names at the end of the summer. Sheyna talks to Nick about how much she misses camp and why she’s frustrated with her friends. Nick is funny, flirty, and great at giving advice. “Those girls sound so immature,” he tells her. “You might as well be in college. Seriously. You act way cooler than any 14-year-old I know.”
A few weeks after school starts, Nick starts flirting with Sheyna more obviously:
Nick then asks Sheyna to send him some pictures of her in her bathing suit at camp. Sheyna is flattered, but it makes her feel a little uncomfortable. She decides to send the pictures anyway. Nick always talks about how mature she seems, and she doesn’t want to make him think otherwise.
One day after soccer practice, Sheyna’s best friend, Grace, asks to borrow her phone. Without trying to snoop, Grace sees a few sexts (sexually explicit text messages) between Sheyna and Nick. Grace doesn’t know much about Nick, which is strange because she and Sheyna usually tell each other about their crushes. Grace decides to ask Sheyna about her relationship with Nick.
Directions
Based on Sheyna's Situation, the story you just read, answer the following questions as if you were Sheyna. Write your responses on your Blog.
1. How did you meet Nick, and how often do you talk to him?
2. Is Nick older than you? By how much?
3. Has Nick ever asked you to keep your relationship secret? In what way?
4. Have you ever felt uncomfortable with anything that Nick has asked you to do?
Now answer the following questions as if you were Grace, not Sheyna.
1. Does it seem like Nick is manipulating Sheyna? Why or why not?
2. Why might this be a sensitive issue for Sheyna?
3. What advice would you give Sheyna about her relationship with Nick?
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1. How did you meet Nick, and how often do you talk to him?
Sheyna met Nick when she was working as a CIT at camp. He was the assistant director. They didn’t really know each other at camp, but they exchanged screen names at the end of the summer. They’ve developed a relationship through instant messaging, and they talk every night.
2. Is Nick older than you? By how much?
Nick just graduated college and Sheyna is a freshman in high school. Nick is probably seven or eight years older.
3. Has Nick ever asked you to keep your relationship secret? In what way?
Nick tells Sheyna they can’t tell anyone about their relationship because parents freak out about “this kind of stuff,” meaning their age difference and/or their job difference at camp. He also tells Sheyna that he’s glad he can trust her.
4. Have you ever felt uncomfortable with anything that Nick has asked you to do?
Nick asked Sheyna to send a picture of herself in her bathing suit at camp, which made her feel kind of uncomfortable. Nick has also been sexting Sheyna (sending sexual text messages to her). Guide students to discuss what would happen if Sheyna did not admit to Grace that she felt uncomfortable. Would that change this situation?
1. Does it seem like Nick is manipulating Sheyna? Why or why not?
Students may have mixed responses, but they should ultimately recognize that Nick is being manipulative. He says things like “you don’t want me to lose my job, do you?” and tells Sheynathat she’s more mature than most girls her age. Sheyna might think that Nick is just flirting with her. But it seems like Nick has more influence in this relationship than Sheyna does, and he’s guiding it to be both sexual and secret. Nick also asked Sheyna to send him sexy pictures, which is risky. We don’t know what will happen to those photos, and even if nothing does, Sheyna was uncomfortable with the request.
2. Why might this be a sensitive issue for Sheyna?
Guide students to recognize that Sheyna misses camp a lot and doesn’t feel like she can relate to her friends at school anymore. She likes talking to Nick about camp, and she vents to him about her friend issues. Nick flirts with Sheyna, too. She’s flattered that someone older thinks she’s mature and attractive.
3. What advice would you give Sheyna about her relationship with Nick?
Sheyna needs to know that her online relationship with Nick is risky, and if she continues it she could be in danger. Sheyna misses camp and is having a tough time with friends at school, and it’s important to be sensitive to that. But to stay safe, Sheyna needs to realize that Nick appears to be manipulating her, and she should cut off their relationship before it goes any further. Friends who are concerned about Sheyna’s situation should also remember that they can, and should, seek help from a trusted adult if they think Sheyna is taking dangerous risks.