Place Not Your Trust In Me

Those who know me best, despise me most. Those I most depend on for encouragement, whose feedback I treasure, and whose high opinion makes my heart soar: These are the people that I am prone to disappoint, and in whose angry or disaffected eyes I see a stark reflection of my own failure. The more people know about me, the more they see the truth about my ignorance, my pettiness, my pride, my anger, my neediness. Perhaps you thought I was honest; Perhaps you thought I was intelligent. Perhaps you thought I was reliable; Perhaps you thought I was well-read. Perhaps you thought I was interesting; Perhaps you even thought I was fun. Perhaps you thought I was confident;

Perhaps you thought I was caring.

Perhaps in your naïveté you thought you saw in me

so many things to be admired.

But now that you know me,

the more that you know me,

you see that I am none of those things;

and that I appear instead,

in truth,

to be the rightful object of your pity,

your derision,

your contempt,

your scorn.

Those who know me best, despise me most,

reflecting at once

the unpalatable reality of my condition

and the unrelenting self-indulgence of my heart.

Place not your trust in me.

Gordon Cloke

Wallow in Reality by Gordon Cloke is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Based on a work at www.gordoncloke.com.