Hello! Allow me to introduce you to Dog 'n' goD, a literary work-in-progress since 1984--a novel that may never be completed, for it contains so much sacrilegious effrontery that God, the Virgin Mary, Jesus, and Lucifer all agree: it's better for the writer of such a book to be put to sleep than to let him suffer in his present condition. I don't blame them either. I feel the same way, and I am the author.

It is a terrible book, critiqued by one respected reader as a "still-born novel" and a "real piece of crap." Its prose style has been labeled "turgid" and "bombastic" by another. However, my intention here is not to give readers the hard sell. You'll be able to purchase your copy soon enough, so just put your money back in your pocket.

No, I simply want to share a funny story regarding the most recent of the doomed book's editors, who shall remain nameless, but who has a splendid reputation as an artist in his own right. I perceived an exasperation that seemed to grow with each new revision of the work I sent to him until it had blossomed like a fever blister, and gave me real pause. After all, a difficult book isn't worth losing a friend over, is it? I paste his final remarks on the "Story Synopsis" below, so readers can sample his overstretched patience.