Marilyn Meyers was preparing dinner for her family of four when the phone rang. It was her mother’s neighbor, Fran.
“Marilyn, its Fran, honey,” she said with her voice trembling. “I was playing cards with your mom this morning when she passed out."
“Passed out?” Marilyn asked.
“Yes, honey," Fran said: "She’s at County Memorial right now being looked at.”
“Is she OK? What’s going on?” Marilyn asked, starting to feel more frantic.
"Honey, they won’t tell me anything since I’m not family," Fran answered. "The paramedics got her to respond, but she isn’t really saying much. I think you need to come here right away. Here’s the number to the hospital.”
Picturing her mother alone in a hospital with complete strangers around her — or worse with tubes going all over the place — Marilyn’s heart sank. Marilyn lived in Atlanta with her husband, a successful attorney, and their two teen boys. Her mother lived in Jackson, Mississippi, in the same house Marilyn grew up in.
Her mind was swirling. She already had a full plate with her civic duties and both boys in sports and scouts. She hung up the phone with Fran and called her husband. He rushed home to be with his wife.
• • •
“Mrs. Meyers, this is Dr. Fortney," the doctor said when she called the hospital. "I’m the neurologist looking after your mom.”
“Is she OK? What’s wrong?” Marilyn said, trying hard to conceal her panic.
After confirming that Marilyn's mother's vital signs were stable, though she had been going in and out of consciousness, the doctor asked for the name of the older woman's primary physician. The conversation began to reveal the many complications associated with a simple hospital visit.
"Dr. Ben Miller?" the doctor asked. "He just retired. I'll have to track down whom he referred her to. I'll need you to come in and sign some papers. Are you nearby?"
"No, I'm in Atlanta," Marilyn replied.
"I presume you have power of attorney for health care?" Dr. Fortney asked.
"Yes, she took care of all that a year ago," Marilyn said of her mother's pre-made arrangements. Still, without copies of the document granting her power of attorney and other authorization forms, she was left helpless to aid her mother.
Marilyn’s husband arrived home from work and embraced his hysterical wife without saying anything. With an 81-year-old widowed mother, one would hope a daughter would be prepared for such an emergency. Marilyn and her mom had always been close, and her mom had traveled, played cards, and lived a full, active life until this particular morning.
“Bob, I’m going to have to fly to Jackson," Marilyn said. "The doctor says I need to sign some forms, and I want to go right now. By the way where is mom’s power of attorney and all her other legal documents?”
“I’m not sure," Bob replied. "I thought she mailed you a copy.”
" I don’t remember receiving them,” Marilyn said. "I guess I'll have to look."
Both knew a sudden out-of-state trip would disrupt work schedules and plans to attend their son's playoff soccer games, but the situation had to be taken care of immediately.
Hurriedly, Marilyn caught the first flight the next morning and called Fran from the car to ask her to pick her up at the airport. Marilyn arrived tired, frazzled and wearing one earring.
They rushed to the hospital and found out her mother was being kept in the intensive care unit. A different doctor was on duty, Dr. Parvez Mashti.
“Mrs. Meyers please have a seat," Dr. Mashti began. "Your mother has had a stroke. We won’t know the extent of any damage for perhaps a day or two. We’ve sedated her and given her blood thinners to prevent any further damage. It would help to know what medications she’s taking."
Fran held her hand gently as Marilyn tried to process what she just heard. It happens all the time, but this time it was HER mother. And once again, she felt helpless having no information to give the doctors.
Fran was asked to stay in the waiting room while Marilyn went to see her mother, who was resting comfortably but must not be excited or agitated, according to the hospital staff. Marilyn held her mothers’ hand. She opened her eyes and looked directly at Marilyn but didn’t recognize her.
• • •
Later that night, as the two women drove to the house, Marilyn realized she hadn’t even called her sister, Cathy, who lived out of state and traveled all over the world. She was single, a free spirit who owned a pottery business. Every few years, Cathy would save up to go on a journey until she ran out of money. She was great fun, but hardly someone you could rely on in a crisis. Marilyn called Cathy and left a message. Meanwhile, Marilyn and Fran searched her mother’s house, frantically looking for medicine bottles and legal documents.
One week later, Marilyn’s mom regained her speech but had very little long-term memory and was unable to walk. The doctors felt she would regain most of her physical abilities with months of specialized rehabilitation. Marilyn found the document granting her power of attorney, but it was unsigned. It was in a package, prepared and ready to be executed. She also found ten different bank accounts, but only one with both of their names on it.
Unfortunately, without the powers of attorney, Marilyn couldn’t access her mother’s accounts or check her into a rehab facility. In addition, her mother had bills coming due that needed to be paid, her answering machine was full, and Marilyn had no idea who would finance the rehab while keeping up her mother Betty’s home. What if they had to sell it? What should they do with mom’s car? Unanswered questions flooded Marilyn’s mind. She flew back to Atlanta and collapsed in bed. The next day her husband explained that if her mother didn’t regain her mental functions soon they would need a court appointed guardianship and that the court would supervise her mother’s finances from that point forward.
For more information contact David Disraeli at 512-464-1110 or david@pcfo.net