Welcome to the Daily COSA Tenth Step Meeting. My name is _____ (first name and last initial only) and I am your secretary for today. COSA is a Twelve-Step fellowship of people who help each other recover from the effects of sexual betrayal. We do this by working the Steps and by sharing our experience, strength, and hope with one another. This meeting welcomes people of all genders, no genders, and any gender(s) in between. Anyone is welcome at this meeting.
Let’s open with the "we and us" version of the Serenity Prayer.
God,
Grant us the serenity
To accept the things we cannot change
The courage to change the things we can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
[Amen]
[If there are a lot of people on the call, you may want to use this part] I’m muting the line now. [press *5 here] (If there are a small number of people on the line and no background noise, you can choose to skip the universal mute. If you do that, you can say instead: Each of us can mute our own line to block out any background noise by pressing star-6.) Please press star-6 to un-mute your phone if you want to speak. You can press star-6 again to mute your phone when you are done.
This is a daily, half-hour long; Tenth Step check-in meeting. We do not need to have completed the first nine steps to do Step Ten; we can begin it as soon as we start cleaning up the past by working the steps.
We open by reading the original instructions for working the Tenth Step, from the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 84-85. Although the wording refers to alcoholism, we have found that it is equally true for all of the effects of compulsive sexual behavior on our lives. Would anybody like to read the Tenth Step instructions?
[Here they are in case nobody volunteers:
Step Ten... suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.]
Thank you. It is now time for sharing. This meeting is designed to give each of us an opportunity to work the Tenth Step. You're invited to share about any fear, resentment, dishonesty, or selfishness that's coming up for you, or that you experienced today.
Keep in mind that resentment can masquerade as anger, annoyance, judgment, and frustration, among other things. Fear can look like nervousness, stress, worry, shame, et cetera. Selfishness is a synonym for our control issues, ego, and self-centeredness. And dishonesty can be denial, the urge to get away with something or hide our situation, and so on.
You can also just share about what you've gotten out of working the Tenth Step, or something you've learned about the Tenth Step.
Just jump in by introducing yourself whenever you want to share. In order to keep this meeting safe, we do not share sexually explicit details in our shares. Please keep shares around two minutes long or fewer. Who would like to begin?
[At 14 minutes after the hour or as close to it as you can get] Newcomers are welcome to share at any time. We have also set this time aside especially for newcomers to share. A newcomer is anyone who has shared at this meeting three times or fewer. Are there any newcomers who wish to share? Again, to mute or unmute your phone, press *6.
[If not, or if you run out before 18 past] If there are no more newcomers, we can throw it open for everyone to share.
[At 18 past, or as close to it as you can get] Now it's God's turn to share! We'll now have two minutes of quiet time. Members are invited to use this time to ask their Higher Power, whatever that might be, to lift their selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and/or fear. It is also a great time to listen for Higher Power's guidance, consider any amends we need to make, or, how we are going to be of service. I'll let you know when two minutes have passed.
[Two minutes later] We have one minute each to share about anything we heard during our meditation time. Who would like to go first?
[At 25 minutes after the hour] That’s all the time we have for sharing. If anybody who has not shared wants to share their presence by saying their name, we have time for that now.
[When that’s done] Thanks everybody.
COSA's Seventh Tradition: “Every COSA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions”. Our Meeting’s Seventh Tradition funds are used to keep our website running, and help support the Telemeeting Intergroup and the International Service Organization (ISO). Donate through our website COSA Tenth Step Meeting dot Com, then click on the Donate button at the bottom of the Welcome page.
Our website can’t accept recurring donations so please set yourself reminders. Thank you! Tenth Step donations are not tax deductible.
Note: Our fund raising is separate from ISO at: COSA dash Recovery dot org.
Are there any COSA announcements?
[When any announcements are done] Newcomers, we have a packet of COSA information for you and anyone. A sponsor can explain how to work the Steps. You may seek a sponsor, and get in touch with other members for support using our Tenth Step Contact List.
You can receive our weekly announcements related to COSA and our Tenth Step Meeting.
Ask after the meeting or email cosatenthstepmeeting@gmail.com to request any of these resources.
It’s now time to end our meeting. In closing, please remember to respect everyone’s anonymity by not gossiping with others about anything anyone has shared here. Everyone is welcome to stay on this line after the meeting to ask any questions, or just to chat.
Let’s close the meeting with the "we and us version" of the serenity prayer.
God,
Grant us the serenity
To accept the things we cannot change
Courage to change the things we can
And wisdom to know the difference.
[Amen.]
ASK if anyone wants a Newcomer Packet of COSA literature sent to them by email or wish to be added to the Announcement List.
If yes, take down their email address, first name and last initial. Send this to cosatenthstepmeeting@gmail.com or invite them to send that to our email address.
(Currently do not ask:)
If somebody wants to be added to the Contact list, ask for their phone number and email address; whether they accept texts and if they are looking for a temporary sponsor, can be a temporary sponsor - or both, or neither.
Here’s information about the meeting from freeconferencecall.com:
Free Conference Call
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Host Access Code: 702759*
Participant Access Code: 702759#
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To start recording, host presses: *9, then the PIN
To stop recording, host presses: *9
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