Minnesota Parent
Post date: May 21, 2012 5:23:55 AM
Co-op kids
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September 1, 2011BY: JESSICA GRIFFITH
Parents swap sitting and build community
Lisa Burton began working part-time three years ago, but she struggled to find childcare for her four-year-old son.
“I worked from home but on occasion I needed to go in for a meeting,” says Burton, a doctoral student and research assistant. Part-time daycare options were difficult to find and Burton felt guilty when friends watched her baby. “I had that anxiety of feeling that I needed to watch their kids, and the even-Steven thing was eating at me.” She found a creative solution.
Burton talked to neighborhood moms and learned many of them needed occasional childcare. A group of seven formed a babysitting co-operative that now boasts a dozen families on St. Paul’s East Side. Members use BabysitterExchange.com to request “sits” and track points; families earn four points per hour of care per child. They redeem points when they need sitters and no money is exchanged.
Cash-free babysitting is a perk, but moms in co-ops speak first about the benefits of responsible and dependable care.
“Babysitting co-ops are reinventing the idea of neighborhood,” says Gary Myers, author of babysittingcoop.com and the Smart Mom’s Baby-sitting Co-op Handbook. “This is a modern-day community where your neighbors might be 10 minutes away, not right next door.
“A successful co-op is a community institution: it’s self-starting, self-governing, and self-sustaining,” he added in a phone interview from his office in Washington state. “Some of these co-ops remain in the community for many years.” He found co-ops throughout the country, even in Manhattan high-rises, and says the trend is also popular in Australia.
Sitting local
Another Twin Cities co-op dates back to the 1960s. The Bloomington Babysitting Co-op is limited to 30 families and sometimes has a wait list for new members, says Carissa Meierdierks-Wall, the group’s chairperson.
“It’s another parent, a responsible parent watching your children,” says Meierdierks-Wall, mom to six-year-old twins. “I never have the concerns that I might have with a teenager, are they texting or really watching my children? I don’t know what I would do without it.”
One member acts as secretary and she arranges the babysitting for the families. Sits are reported to a chairperson who calculates hours on a spreadsheet.
Marcia Kirk’s babysitting co-op, also in Bloomington, uses a similar system.
“You’re not just dropping them off,” says Kirk, who has a daughter, seven, and a son, four. “The kids get to be friends and they have a comfort level with the parents.”
Lauren Dee of St. Paul started the Great Escape Co-op four years ago with friends she met in Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE). Her mother participated in a co-op in the 1980s when the members tracked points in a notebook and organized via telephone; Dee’s group uses BabysitterExchange.com and email.
Megan Odell’s co-op in Northeast Minneapolis used Myers’ book to organize the group.
“I have seen shows, gone out to dinner, and run errands that I either wouldn’t have done, or that would have been seriously hampered by lugging my little dude along,” says Odell, an acupuncturist with one son.
“What’s really fun is that it turns into a play date for our kids,” adds Burton, who recently added a baby girl to her family. “They’re getting to go out and hang out with somebody else’s kids, and it makes my life easier because Luke will go off and play with whomever we are babysitting. It’s a good opportunity to socialize.”
Parents also can observe other people’s children, and realize they do not have the only kids who use potty talk or run laps around the dining room table.
“I also know my kids are far more well-behaved when they are at someone else’s house, and it’s nice to hear another parent say, ‘Oh, your kids were so good,’” says Dee, a project manager who has a son, five, and a daughter, two.
Rules and regs
Meierdierks-Wall joined her group four years ago when her twins were two years old and says she now uses the co-op four or five times a month. Members in her group are required to sit or request a sit once a month, and families that do not participate for three months may be asked to leave.
Most of the co-ops in this article operate with bylaws for usage and new membership. Rules vary, but many groups have a formal process for inviting new people that involves interviews and a home visit.
Families in Odell’s co-op must be recommended by another member. Then, three members visit the prospective family’s house and complete a safety checklist, which includes items such as whether the home has safety latches and baby gates.
Dee’s co-op asks new families to host a play date. This gives prospective members a chance to meet the other parents and children, and current members can tour the house and get to know the family.
“We found it had to be a little more formal to ensure people were comfortable within the group,” Dee says.
An informal structure works well for Burton’s East Side co-op.
“If someone knows someone who wants to join and a couple of people know the family well, we are fine with that,” she says.
In a larger organization such as the 30-family co-op in Bloomington, it may take a while to meet everyone. The group sponsors two socials and a meeting each year.
Dee’s co-op plans family parties every four to six months and the mothers get together twice a year for a business meeting. Kirk’s co-op in Bloomington is organized around monthly playgroups where mothers and children get acquainted. Burton’s co-op hosts an annual picnic at Lake Phalen, and Odell’s group gathers for bimonthly meetings where they discuss a parenting topic.
Co-ops try to ensure the safety of members. For example, Meierdierks-Wall says parents are asked about firearms and the group also decided members must follow daycare guidelines for securing guns and ammunition. The group also runs criminal background checks on all adults in the home.
Kirk’s co-op keeps track of family information such as pets and allergies, and each family has a password for times when someone other than a parent picks up a child. Dee’s group compiled binders that detail family information and emergency contacts, and organized CPR classes for parents.
Getting started
Word-of-mouth is the best way to launch a co-op, Kirk says. “You want to make sure you have a solid group and that everyone is comfortable before it gets too big.”
Dee invited interested families to an organizational meeting. Ten to 12 families is a good starting point to ensure coverage for most requests, Myers says.
Organizers should not be surprised if parents they know and like do not want to participate. Burton says some of the friends who chose not to use the co-op have family members in town who are willing to babysit.
“Some of our founding members were surprised to discover that they weren’t ready to have non-family members care for their kids,” Odell adds.
The cost factor attracts many parents to the idea, but babysitting co-ops are not just about free childcare. “It’s not without investment,” Dee says. “It requires you to put your time up. You have to be someone who is interested in building community and strengthening relationships.
“When I go to babysit for someone, I like that I am helping their marriage by giving them a date night,” Dee says. “It’s a part of wanting to have strong families around my family.”
Check on the article on the Bloomington Babysitting Co-op in Minnesota Parent magazine: