OK: this next sojourn (back to the tropic climes of Papua New Guinea) seemed to be jinxed.
I was told that I had to do an 'on-line' training course (that I'd done before, but it has to be redone every two years). They said it would take 'three to four hours' (don't tell anyone: I did it in 45 minutes). Then the hotel assignment for which I had been selected was cancelled (apparently due to new management reasoning that they did not want a volunteer 'expert'). So, an alternative hotel (on another island) was sourced - then that had to also proceed through the protracted selection process. A few weeks later, I was told that I'd have to do the same on-line course yet again as it was now a different assignment, and it took a lot of emails to convince the- powers-that-be that once (plus a 'refresher') was enough, thank you! Then the original start date was postponed and I was asked if I could go on the 30th February (!!!). Then I received the travel itinerary, which would have sent me to the wrong island - I said that I was not that good at swimming with my luggage.
I was also obliged to participate in another 'Pre-Assignment-Briefing' - which entailed flying across Australia from Perth to Melbourne for three days where we were assailed with obvious material, interspersed with re-enactments and activities. One could (almost) understand it for teenagers about to go out of the country for the first time, but .....!
For the four hour night flight home - Qantas offered an option where frequent flyer passengers could bid for an upgrade. I was booked on 'cattle-class' for around $300, a business class fare was around $2,000. I put in a bid for an extra 5,000 points, plus $250 - which was (surprisingly) accepted. After a delicious dinner - I lay flat and had about two hours sleep on the flight.
I received my passport (with appropriate visa) in the mail two days before the scheduled flight out, and the e-tickets the day before departure. The passport was sent Australia Post 'Platinum Express' and the on-line tracker showed it as being 'delivered', but it actually came two days later. Australia Post could not explain the glitch, but (after I highlighted the error) were kind enough to phone and apologise.
SO: on to the assignment - I, again, flew diagonally across Australia from Perth to Alice Springs (the 'dead centre' of Australia) to Cairns - overnight. It still makes me smile when flying across nothing but endless desert and they give the life-jacket safety demonstration. Anyway - can you image how a bunch of crammed in passengers could possibly put on those life vests without continually clobbering a neighbour? Next day: Cairns to Port Moresby to Goroka to Kavieng. Unusually: I did not meet anyone I knew at the either of the air terminals in Port Moresby.
In keeping with the general thrust of this assignment, the taxi driver in Cairns insisted that he was dropping me at the correct hotel, which we 'discussed' until I convinced him that he was incorrect and he, ultimately, took me to the correct address (with the meter off).
Back to Cairns airport in the morning and, after lurking for hours in Port Moresby domestic airport, arrived in Kavieng in the dark, but there was nobody to meet me and passengers were being driven away until there was virtually no one left at the airport. Fortunately, a hotel bus driver very kindly offered to take me. I was supposed to be staying in a 'compound' with other volunteers - even though I'd said that advising a hotel without being domiciled there was like reviewing a book without reading it, or a film without seeing it. I did not know the address of the 'compound' and asked the driver to take me to the hotel I was advising. He took me to what looked like a shack thinking it was where I needed to go; luckily, a guy came out as the driver was leaving, called him back and told him that it was the wrong place. I was ultimately conveyed to the correct hotel.....where I stayed for the duration of the assignment.
A 'pocket' history of Kavieng, New Ireland.....
The island is believed to have been first inhabited around 3,300 years ago, and was charted by Dutch explorers in 1616.
New Ireland was also the setting for the saga of the Marquis de Ray from France, who advertised 'Cape Breton' as a thriving settlement and sold hundreds of hectares of land to gullible settlers. In 1870 they were dumped with three week's supplies into a tangled jungle with almost perpetual rainfall and unfriendly neighbours. Of the 570 colonists, 123 died of starvation or malaria before being rescued and sent to Australia. The Marquis was arrested and died in a French asylum.
New Ireland was colonised by Germany in 1886 under the name Neu-Mecklenburg, as part of the German partition comprising the northern half of present-day Papua New Guinea.
'Blackbirding' (the removal, often by force, of local young men to work on plantations in northern Australia and other Pacific islands) was widespread in New Ireland in the late 19th century.
After the First World War, Kavieng (as part of Papua New Guinea) was ceded to Australian control. This resulted in the deportation of German missionaries and the seizure of all German owned property in the town.
On 21st January 1942, Kavieng came under a massive aerial bombardment by Japanese forces. That night, the majority of Australians were evacuated. The Japanese invaded and occupied the island on 24th January. Over the next two years, almost all of the Europeans who had remained on the island were killed by the Japanese. Rear Admiral Ryukichi Tamura gave the order to kill all the European prisoners, also: many indigenous people died. At least twenty-three Australians were executed in March 1944, which later led to the perpetrators being sentenced to death for war crimes. By the time the Allies retook the island in 1945, Kavieng had been almost completely destroyed.
The population of the island now is around 120,000 people, the vast majority of whom (about 90%) live in small rural villages. The population is very young, with a median age of just 18.7 years. Over 40% of the population is under the age of 15 years, whereas only 3% are above 65 years. Around twenty languages are spoken on the small island of New Ireland, and the number of dialects and sub-dialects totals perhaps 45.
Kavieng is now a quiet, small town with limited traffic (no traffic lights exist, or are needed). It is refreshing in PNG not to have to live behind high fences topped with razor wire and have to enter any premises through steel mesh gates with 24-hour, armed, security guards. There were (unarmed) guards on duty at the front doors of the two banks, but it was all pretty casual.
The quiet at night was only disturbed by (what locals told me was) an incessant 'green frog'. It was right outside my bedroom window and would croon, loudly, most of the night - I was convinced that it was using a microphone! I never actually saw the little beggar. I don't know how - but the noise was continuous: the frog must have been breathing through its ears...or its arse, and the vocals were a soliloquy - not even conversing with another frog . Then there was the boom of dropping of betel nuts (known locally as 'buai') from a tree onto the corrugated iron roof; then they would clatter as they rolled down to land on the ground. However, the noise was considerably amplified when the nuts landed on the roof of the water tank, as it acted like a big bass drum. Oh yes, and then there were what I took to be possums (I never actually saw them), who would get under the eaves onto the ceiling and play night-time 'catch-me-if-you-can' running incessant loops around the ceiling while wearing hob-nailed boots. The only other night noises were dogs yapping or fighting; but, strangely enough, no roosters yodelling at dawn.
On day one: I convinced the owner that having the night security guy cook breakfasts in advance for guests and cover the greasy fried eggs with foil was not exactly ideal - cold eggs for all. So, from then on, breakfast was cooked to order (hot food!) although it took a while to sort out as guests ordering 'scrambled' eggs were likely to get 'fried' eggs. I showed the staff how to make scrambled and poached. Next morning: I ordered "scrambled eggs, please" and got a tomato and onion omelette - still: 'small steps'! Then, staff asked me to do a sign explaining the difference between: fried/poached/scrambled/omelette - next day, guests were pointing to the relevant picture of how they wanted their eggs cooked.
The majority of the time: I was the only paleface to be seen anywhere.
I quickly learned that the owner operated six business. I'd also saw their convoluted accounting - they were entering numbers in a heap of detailed Excel worksheets that no one ever looked at. SO - I designed simple but linked worksheets for each business with: income, expense and a summary which automatically created a Profit and Loss Account for each division each month; plus annually for each business of the entire enterprise....all automatically linked for monthly and annual reports.
So, on to day two (Sunday). I created a list of First Impressions for the owner to mull over - and hope that he was not too upset! He later intimated that I was "aiming too high" for his property. I explained that: "good food and good service is the same for a ten room guesthouse or a hundred room luxury resort". I put together the forms and formats for their complete HR functions. I don't know why: but I always 'hit the ground running': then finish up twiddling my thumbs for weeks!
Where's the 'privacy' anymore? I had opened a Gmail account and Mr Google complied without even asking for a password - they 'knew' who I was! I'd set up the account on my laptop, then happened to check the account on my iPad - got a message asking if that was OK, or did someone else have my password! Then, on FaceBook: I started getting a message to update my phone number and including the pre-entered area code of 675 - which is Papua New Guinea ... they knew where I was, and 'location' on my laptop was turned 'off'!
Watching the nightly news on the national television channel sometimes evoked a feeling of déjà vu. There was a commercial in virtually every ad break for the organisation I'd devoted my life to (15+ hours a day - every single day) at the turn of the century. Plus: I'd sometimes see people I'd met or knew who were being interviewed on the news.
I was accommodated in a small, separate 'cottage' at the back of the hotel property (no hot water: so a brisk wake-up shower in the mornings). Just outside my room door was a 2.5 meter crocodile (in a cage, I hasten to add). Volunteers are obliged to complete a very detailed evaluation of the local security conditions and one of the many questions was: "Are there guard dogs on the premises?" I responded: "No - but I have a crocodile."
I collected some data from one of the office computers on a supplied flash drive (that had all the assignment's required reporting forms), plus copies of everthing I'd done to date - it picked up a virulent virus and destroyed the lot! Luckily - I had most originals saved on the laptop.
Then - the boss had asked his niece (an CPA accountant) to fly over from Port Moresby to assist the staff in setting up a bunch of necessary (but detailed) legal frameworks. I loaded some forms from my laptop onto her laptop for her - using one of my own flash-drives. As usual - I immediately scanned the flash-drive after use ...YEP - picked up 8 viruses and 2 Trojan horses just from her Apple Mac - and wiped everything off THAT flash drive as well....
There were random power cuts ("blackout") on a regular basis (at least weekly, but no discernible pattern) ... thank goodness for a laptop with a battery so at least I could continue to work.
Attesting to the persistent 'dangerous' reputation of Papua New Guinea - there was a court case in the press charging 122 people with the 'wilful murder' of seven villagers for alleged 'sorcery-related' reasons - including two young children (aged 3 and 5) who were 'wrenched from their mothers' arms and chopped to pieces'. From another press report: '… the killing was a kind done in certain cult practices as the people killed were slashed from their legs up and their heads were cut off and taken away.' http://www.thenational.com.pg/122-suspects-madang-trial/
A 'joke' with an element of actuality from the local press: The government asks for tenders for a job. A local builder quotes K5 million, someone from another town quotes K10 million; a Chinese contractor quotes K20 million and gets the job. The out of town guy questions the Chinese guy who says: "Relax, we'll get the local guy to do the job for K5 million and we'll share the K15 million."
Living in the tropics - sounds idyllic doesn't it? Life on a tropical island? I saw a doctor's note from a staff member for taking time off - the reason: 'malaria'. Another key staff member was off 'sick' - her symptom was bleeding from the ear...which sounds rather serious (it's also a symptom of Ebola!). A volunteer there for 12 months was feeling reasonably OK, but was losing weight. She went back to Oz for a check-up.and they found worms. The adult worms thrive in the intestines of carnivores, such as humans, cats or dogs. They lay eggs that exit the body with feces. The eggs hatch within a few days into their tiny larval form, in which they can penetrate human or animal skin - such as through the feet. Larvae then move from the skin to the lungs and then the trachea, where they are swallowed. The larvae mature into adult worms in the intestines, where they attach to the intestinal walls and lay eggs, which the carrier excretes - so continuing the life cycle. … isn't nature wonderful? Are you feeling like relocating?
I was, yet again, delving into the vagaries of charging and recording of Valued Added Tax (VAT) or, this case: Goods and Services Tax (GST). I'd been through the introduction of that tax (and applying it to various businesses) three times: in the UK, in Australian, and then in PNG as each country had introduced the new tax.
It was time for national elections in Papua New Guinea - press articles describe the event as: 'the most expensive in the world'. With a population of just 7.6 million, there were a staggering 44 political parties. Plus, in one seat alone, there were 75 candidates. My client was standing for local governor against 19 other candidates. In previous elections in the Highlands, I saw a voting paper that was printed on a sheet of A3 paper, featuring a photograph of each candidate - catering to the high level of illiteracy. Actual polling for all seats was from 24th June - but candidates were restricted to actual 'campaigning' from 20th April....not that there wasn't a lot of 'unofficial' lobbying going on before then!
We are advised to steer clear of politics and religion - so I was only on the periphery of the boss's campaign for Governor. I designed and created some forms and posters and gave him his campaign slogan of: 'It's Time!' (which most Aussies will realise that I lifted from the successful campaign of Gough Whitlam for Prime Minister in 1972).
I'm just not enamoured about the vagaries of international travel. On the return trip: had to be up before 04.00 for a 06.00 flight from the local airport at Kavieng, a short stop-over in Rabaul, then to Port Moresby. Then wait 5 hours for the next 3 hour flight to Brisbane. Then wait again 5½ hours for the flight to Perth, arriving at 23.50 local time (2am PNG time). So that was ALL of Friday devoted to 'travelling', just-down-the-hill from PNG to Australia.
So - arise at 03.30 to get to the airport in Kavieng at the instructed time of 04.00....of course: the airport terminal was dark and closed and there was a 30 minute wait before staff arrived. Eventually: a short flight to Rabaul to disgorge a few passengers and load some more. Then fly to Port Moresby - to wait 30 minutes for the luggage to embark on the carousel. Wander from 'domestic' to 'international' by 08.45 to be told that the Qantas check-in would not open until 10.30. when it did open: there was a queue of around 60 waiting .... all white but, oddly: only three were female. Check in completed so: walk upstairs (the escalator was broken) to find that 'customs' was not yet open. Another wait of around 40 minutes before getting to 'immigration' where there was ONE officer on duty to process a plane load.
About half-way on the flight from Port Moresby to Brisbane, there was call over the PA: "Is there a doctor on board?", about ten minutes later: "Is there a nurse or other medical person on board?". When we landed and passengers were doing that stand-in-the-aisle ritual to disembark - "Please remain seated while quarantine examine the person prior to permitting passengers to disembark." A guy came on and examined the 'patient' - apparently gave an 'all clear' and we got off. Rumour was going around that he was just severely intoxicated.
THEN - on the next Qantas flight from Perth to Brisbane...."If there is a doctor or medical person on board, please come to the rear galley." When we landed and some passengers were standing in the aisles: "Would those in the left aisle of the aircraft please clear the way for paramedics." Three serious-looking guys (with their gear) bundled to the rear of the aircraft - and we disembarked.
About a month before the current assignment was finalised - negotiations were proceeding in consideration of another. Then the prospective client chose me - so: I'm home for just two weeks: then back to Phnom Penh in Cambodia to be working with a successful local female entrepreneur who deals in silk (fabrics, fashion, accessories) and is requesting a new marketing plan.