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4
Aujunai Charpentiair
June 14, 2024
Unedited
A work in progress
Rough unedited draft (3)
Chapter 1
My mind told me...this was the only answer; this would solve all my problems...and all would fall into place!
To become his zombie was the only plausible solution. The only right thing to do!
Yes, yes, I know...I know you wonder what is wrong with me, crazy, or what? Neither. Just enlove!
How did I get here...to this point in my life?!
Love!
Love was the cause!
Love!
Love was the cause of it all!
Was then...is now!
As the song goes, “What You Won't Do for Love, you've tried everything, but you just can't let go! What you won't do for love!”
I have tried...and I have tried. What else is there!?
This was not what I wanted, to be his zombie...but it had to be, at least to my thinking! All else had failed. It was my only option. No one would understand, I didn't expect them to! They've never had what we have; Been where we've been, or experienced what we have!
Our love is incomparable, inconceivable, and unimaginable...but yet it is! And…it can not be defined. I have no words comparable to him and I...and what is between us!
My heart is his: always was, and always will be!
Didn't know it then…but, I know it now!
Ooh, yes!
Yes... Others have tried to get me. Pull me away from him!
Foolish and silly, them!
They didn't stand a chance, with their lies and alibis!
Saying and telling me:
“I'm the one for you!”
“I got plenty of money, credit cards with no limits, for you!”
“Baby, I'll take good care of you! Buy you the best jewelry if you want that too!”
“I'll do it all!"
“I will kill, too...if it means I can have you!”
“There are no limits to the things I'll do...just to be with you!”
“What...are these men...trying to be MY zombies?”
Ooh, well!
Wanna be zombies...just don't understand!
Since the day the love of my life...entered my life, nothing or no one else has ever mattered! He's got the heart and soul of me! His easy ways...and unconditional love, put a move on my heart. Locked it down! Rendered me helpless!
Yes! Yes...a love like that does exist!
Ooh...the situation; the gravity of it all. I saw no way out! Yes, my enlove, It had come to this! I had begged him on bended knees, pleaded, and cried too. All, to no avail! Even my telling him...I would still love him. He was not making me love him...if he turned me into his zombie.
Pleaseeee...just let me be your zombie, and I'll be okay! Please!
Don't judge! You wouldn't understand! If you experienced his kind of love...you'd wanna be his zombie, too.
What can I say!
It is what it is.
Love rules. And he is king!
Well anyway, as usual, He refused, as he always did!
His answer, more often, than not,
“No!”
Sometimes he wouldn't answer my ridiculous offer at all,
“Please...please, just make me your zombie!”
Most times, my pleas went unanswered. And others he'd just reply,
“I can't do that!”
This went on for years.
Why...?
I was afraid I'd lose him!
I was terrified of losing him!
I was desperate to have him!
Desperate...for him to want me...as his own!
His kinda love, you don't wanna be without. At least I didn't. 'Cause I knew if he ever said,
“it's over between us...you and me! And it's because of your behavior.”
I just would not want to live!
Ooh, no...I wouldn't kill myself. I would just mourn and grieve away.
Life...life, would no more, have meaning for me. Even now, through the years, I love him more, if that's possible!
He is the one...my heart beats for! My reason for living!
My every thought...is of him.
First thing in the morning. Last thing at night.
And all during the day, It's him!
It's only him.
Forever...it's only him!
Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever...it's only and always going to be him!
Ooh, no!
No, zombie was my idea. For real!
That's how desperate I was and am...for his love!
Zombie...for me, was my only way of trying to keep him!
Or, so I thought!
Chapter 2
I suppose, that I should start at the very beginning. Yes, that's a perfect starting place. So...shall we begin?
I was very young, and he was much older when we first met. It happened one night by chance. As usual, I'd wake around 2-2:30 in the early morning hours. I couldn't sleep. So as usual I'd get up, go to my balcony, and look and search...for nothing in particular.
The quietness of the streets below was peaceful. But mostly, I would stare up into the heavens. This was my nightly routine. Every night it was always the same. Sometimes I believe he was calling out to me; For me to find him. I can't explain it! It's just that I was always drawn to my balcony. Every night...searching!
I never stayed in bed and tossed and turned with restlessness when I woke in the early morning hours. I would always...always get up, go to the balcony and search. Well, really...I suppose I was searching for him...because that's how I found him! That's how we meet. In the early morning!
Yes, there he was., waiting for me to come to him...in the early morning hours! That was the start of a never-ending love! A love so formidable...so formidable, even steel would yield to it! A love...Time-tested, extremely painful, enduring, patient, and long-suffering, hurtful. I left him more times than I care to remember. But he never left me.
My jealousy of him consumed me, and still does! The jealousy didn't start until much later. But we'll get to all of that....June 5, 2024
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